September 19/20, 2023 UPDATE:This course is now available onUdemy.com: https://www.udemy.com/course/progressive-breath-awareness-booster. Even though in a way I got the option I requested of them, I’ve decided since Insight Timer didn’t give notice or choice but made all their courses available only to Plus Members I’ve put the course on Udemy to reach a wider audience of those wanting one off purchases. If anyone wants to do the course outside of these platforms please contact me.
June 27, 2023 UPDATE:Progressive Breath Awareness Booster – New Bonus Mini Coursenow available as an Insight Timer Plus audio free for members. From what I remember, under the older rules, before opening up to all teachers, this mini bonus course is essentially stuff I couldn’t include in the main course because I was limited to 15 minutes per day and had to pitch a detailed plan before starting piecing together production.
The Progressive Breath Awareness Booster course primarily addresses the breath through approaches, observations, perceptions, practice ideas, and with inquiries ranging from simple, commonplace, practical and broad overviews to the bizarre, obscure, esoteric, and minutia. This aim of this course is not to overwhelm, for overthinking, for comparison, or judgement; rather, it primarily intends leveraging cutting edge material to increase and enhance the likelihood of maintaining and prolonging bare awareness of breath for and during breath practices as well as in everyday life.
Since I find being aware of breath (for longer periods) very helpful, yet at the same time quite challenging, the intent to discover new and better ways to deepen and prolong breath awareness brought through most everything in this course to contemplate, meditate with and experience each part piece by piece.
The decision to initially keep private much of the material in this course came when assembling 2020’s Breath: Questions for Contemplation; Perceptions and Practice Ideas which is highly recommended as prerequisite. Since Part One wasn’t designed for Insight Timer’s course format it didn’t make since to use the same title and then tack on a “Part Two” hence the rename Progressive Breath Awareness Booster while also siding with releasing as a course for wider adoption and benefit.
In addition to this public presentation the private portion may be given if working with me, or may be released later. Much of what’s public is aggregated from other public sources while the private includes material I’m unsure of what portion is public and what portion is not.
“Being unsure of what portion is public and what portion is not” mostly means there’s really no simple way to verify what’s considered as new and original for this course hasn’t already been put out there in some shape, form or manner and to what degree of (dis)similarity.
The choice for this type of release also brought up and includes the classic question of whether or not it’s OK to charge for meditation instructions. Below is a portion of my email response to this very consideration (with additions and edits in brackets for retrospective clarity):
. . . I thought and pondered this long and hard while making this course. I even reached out to Insight Timer to request an option for this course to not be sold individually while still making it available to plus members who [more or less] donate to the platform (to support all the free users) and then [plus] members get access to all the courses (amongst other features) and then insight timer in turn more or less donates to teachers if I’m getting all this right.
I made sure nothing included in the course, to my current knowledge, came directly from any Buddhist canon nor directly from any Buddhist teachers (other than a handful of descriptive word choices) as it’s obvious Buddhist teachings are provided freely in the spirit of generosity.
As soon as Insight Timer offers the option to only make this course available to [donating] members I’ll choose that and even better if I will be allowed to mention that anyone interested in this course can contact me directly and get it freely. I surely plan to mention this on my website for the announcement write up for this course too.
. . .
I invite further thoughts, feelings and advice about all this
The female barefoot in the desert image above, as well as the windblown male silhouette for this blog post’s main image were both rejected by Insight Timer. They write, “for courses, we recommend using, clean, warmer, minimalistic, bold, and compelling images that generate positive emotions in our audience.”
And (then) check out the course entirely free for Insight Timer Plus members (currently $60/year which includes a 7-day free trial), or the easy to remember: tinyurl.com/breathcourse. There’s a multiple choice reflective question at the end of each of the five days on Insight Timer with no right or wrong answer as well as a virtual classroom for students to ask (me) questions.
As a bonus, after finishing the course listen to Progressive Breath Awareness Booster – New Bonus Mini Course anInsight Timer Plus Premium Track free for members. From what I remember, under the older rules, before opening up course creation to all teachers, this mini bonus course is essentially stuff I couldn’t include in the main course because I was limited to 15 minutes per day and had to pitch a detailed plan before starting piecing together production.
It’s also currently $19.99 via: https://www.udemy.com/course/progressive-breath-awareness-booster. Even though in a way I got the option I requested of them, I’ve decided since Insight Timer didn’t give notice or choice but made all their courses available only to Plus Members I’ve put the course on Udemy to reach a wider audience of those wanting one off purchases. If anyone wants to do the course outside of these platforms please contact me
Born of necessity for more optimal breath meditation and almost even just being able to use breath as a meditation object nearly at all, I wish the best optimal outcomes to all who come across this course.
(Ai assist:) In this wide-ranging Dharma conversation and a kind of follow up episode, Asoka and I discuss types of identity and self-exploration (e.g., her ongoing shaved-head practice as a lay eight-precept holder despite no longer living monastically), then pivot to the viral Walk for Peace—a 120-day, ~2,300-mile pilgrimage by ~18–26 Vietnamese/Theravada-aligned Buddhist monastics from Huong Dao Vipassana Bhavana Center in Fort Worth, Texas, to Washington, D.C. (started October 26, 2025; expected end mid-February 2026). Accompanied by rescue dog Aloka, they promote inner peace, compassion, non-harming, and healing through meditative walking (inspired by traditional Thudong but with an engaged-Buddhism focus), drawing thousands of supporters, media attention, and occasional challenges (e.g., confrontations with preachers, a traffic accident injuring monastics).
Key themes include:
Inner peace as the foundation for outer peace (start within via mind training, resolving inner conflict before external action).
The Brahma Viharas (loving-kindness/metta, compassion/karuna, sympathetic joy/mudita, equanimity/upekkha—sometimes reframed as resilience) as tools for relating to self/others and dissolving the three poisons (or poisonous roots of greed, hatred/ill will, delusion).
Non-duality as interdependence, seeing self/other reflections, loosening grasping/stickiness to stories and identity (anatta/non-self), while avoiding pitfalls like “idiot compassion” (over-giving without boundaries/dignity) or spiritual bypassing.
Paradoxes in practice (conventional vs. ultimate reality; restriction vs. freedom; empathy vs. action).
Practical applications: ethical precepts for merit/wishes fulfilled, spatial/situational awareness, breath-focused meditation (e.g., resting in natural awareness at breath pauses), middle way balance (avoid extremes), contentment/freedom from distractions (including digital ones), compassion even for flawed leaders/politicians by separating person from defilements.
Modern concerns: AI/delusion risks, generational tech shifts, accelerating change, need for lineage verification, open inquiry (ehipassiko: come and see for yourself), and preserving authentic Dharma amid impermanence.
Inspirations: Bodhgaya as unifying pilgrimage site across traditions; merit of hearing Dharma; freedom from (vs. freedom to); contentment with little.
“Inner peace is your strength.” “You can only rely on your own inner peace.” “Compassion for others starts with compassion for yourself.” “Freedom from desire leads to true contentment.” “Navigating duality requires a strong foundation in ethical practice.” “The middle way is about finding balance in all aspects of life.” “Self-honesty is a form of self-love.” “Everything can disappear from your life in just one instant.” “The seeds of inner peace grow from consistent practice.”
Chapters:
00:00 Introduction and Identity Exploration 02:28 The Walk for Peace: Purpose and Impact 06:32 Challenges and Encounters on the Journey 09:04 Inner Peace and the Brahma Viharas 13:30 The Role of Politics in Personal Peace 18:42 Non-Duality and Interdependence 28:39 Dissolving Boundaries: Self and Other 32:00 The Dangers of Idiot Compassion 36:24 Embracing Paradoxes in Spirituality 40:44 Understanding Compassion and Boundaries 47:28 Compassion in Politics and Society 51:42 The Importance of Authentic Teachings 57:32 The Significance of Pilgrimage Sites 58:25 Preserving Teachings Amidst Impermanence 01:00:00 Unity in Diversity: Bodhgaya’s Role 01:02:21 Defining Salvation and Inner Peace 01:05:09 Freedom from Distractions 01:07:14 Navigating Modern Challenges with Mindfulness 01:13:58 Building Resilience Through Inner Peace 01:18:18 The Middle Way in Practice
[Note: There will likely be no Meditation Q and A with Wendy Nash for February and March 2026. Perhaps consider it a type of delayed winter holiday break]
In this thirty-ninth installment of the ongoing live series with Wendy Nash inquiring into meditation practice on and off the cushion we delve into Hiri and Ottappa. Hiri is often translated as moral shame and conscience. Ottappa as moral fear, fear of wrongdoing, moral dread, compunction, respect. Together they are the bright Guardians of the World
Wendy and I welcome all to engage with progressing towards clarifying and understanding Hiri and Ottappa from various teachings and from our own lives servings as foundational support for meditation practice and well being. And, in turn, how our meditation practice helps strengthen Hiri and Ottappa.
A list of further importances of Hiri and Ottappa (– although some of these we did not get too –) from our own experience (and beyond) like: the ups and downs involved, challenges, a related dream I recently had, successes, (lack of) progress, inversions / reversals, (balancing out new age) misunderstandings and dismissals, hypocrisy, taboos, contemplation, accountability, getting support, and how Hiri and Ottappa relate to the five precepts.
Please chime in in the comments on what we got right and what we fell short on. Or share rectifying resources. Helping clarify our misunderstands helps us and the audience
Ai summarizes this chat thus followed by takeaways:
Josh Dippold and Wendy Nash explore the concepts of hiri and ottappa in meditation, discussing their significance in ethical behavior and self-perception. They delve into the complexities of goodness, intention, and the impact of shame and guilt on personal growth. The dialogue emphasizes the importance of understanding the craving for self-image and the role of mindfulness in navigating emotions like anger and hurt. Through personal anecdotes and insights, they highlight the need for education and awareness in fostering a compassionate society.
Takeaways
Hiri and Ottappa are essential for ethical meditation practice.
Being good is not solely defined by behaviors.
The craving to see oneself as good can lead to inner conflict.
Intention drives actions, but hiri reflects moral conscience.
Shame and guilt can be both constructive and destructive.
Training behaviors is crucial for ethical living.
Anger often stems from feeling hurt and unsafe.
Humor can provide perspective in difficult situations.
Education is vital for fostering compassion in society.
Meditation helps in processing emotions and reducing regrets.
Bhikkhus, these two bright principles protect the world. What are the two? Shame and fear of wrongdoing. If, bhikkhus, these two bright principles did not protect the world, there would not be discerned respect for mother or maternal aunt or maternal uncle’s wife or a teacher’s wife or the wives of other honoured persons, and the world would have fallen into promiscuity, as with goats, sheep, chickens, pigs, dogs, and jackals. But as these two bright principles protect the world, there is discerned respect for mother … and the wives of other honoured persons.”
Those in whom shame and fear of wrong Are not consistently found Have deviated from the bright root And are led back to birth and death.
But those in whom shame and fear of wrong Are consistently ever present, Peaceful, mature in the holy life, They put an end to renewal of being.
*There’s naturally an ongoing open call for meditation (related) questions for the (roughly) monthly “Meditation Q & A” either by the various social media means listed; integratingpresence[at]protonmail.com or just showing to type/ask live.*
Background
Regular, current and past visitors to Integrating Presence may recall the monthly series “Ask Us Anything” I did with Denny K Miu from August 2020 until January 2022 — partially including and continuing on with Lydia Grace as co-host for awhile until March 2022.
For a fewmonthsthereafter I did various Insight Timer live events exploring potential new directions and/or a continuation of the Ask Us Anything format while weaving in other related teachings to these events.
Then, after chats with meditation coach Wendy Nash, it became clear to start a new collaboration similar to “Ask Us Anything” simply and clearly called “Meditation Q & A” especially due to the original intent of the Ask Us Anything’s being “discussions about meditation and related topics.”
Audio: Hiri and Ottappa | “Meditation Q & A With Wendy Nash” #39
Josh Dippold (00:01.058) Holness, welcome. This is Josh Dippold and from Interskilled Integrating Presence and again, once again, Wendy Nash. Wendy, how are you?
Wendy Nash (00:11.049) I’m in Gabby Gabby country in Queensland in Caboolture and I have a range of fans around me because I need to. also have I got some of those bales of sugarcane mulch and lucerne mulch and everything and they’re actually creating insulation because it gets so hot in this room. It’s got all the heat coming in on that one so that’s what I’m doing there.
Josh Dippold (00:37.859) Well, tell me about the sugar cane mulch. What do you mean? I don’t know what that is because we don’t have sugar in the Midwest. I know what sugar cane is, but what is the mulch? What are you doing with that? What is that?
Wendy Nash (00:47.465) You know, obviously when you’ve got the end at the end of the sugar cane after the sugar has been done Then you’ve got the sugar cane you just cut it down and that gets turned into mulch It’s like a lucerne
Josh Dippold (00:58.904) But inside, so you’re going to plant things inside with it or why is it inside?
Wendy Nash (01:02.665) No, no, no, it’s like these huge packets of lucerne just to create, you know, so imagine you had a straw bale house, but you don’t actually, just, you have the bits of plastic wrapped bales, which a bale is too big a word. It’s a plastic packet really. And just pushed up against the wall, just to kind of cut, because it’s cheap. Yeah, it’s just insulation. So that’s what I’m doing.
Josh Dippold (01:27.743) Insulation, sure. Better than fiberglass. I remember I would get so itchy with that fiberglass insulation.
Wendy Nash (01:37.021) And I just wanted to, I wanted a quick hack because it gets so hot here. So I just wanted something cheap and quick and all the rest. Now, Josh, this is a new format on Riverside and I’m just looking for where is the chat so we can see what people are gonna say.
Josh Dippold (01:53.144) yeah, we did it one time. Let’s see, on the right hand side, it says chat for me at least, but I don’t know if it’s gonna show up for you. studio chat, no, okay. So I guess we need some, no. So I guess you’ll have to bring up the blog post on my website. So should be the first blog post and then the YouTube.
Wendy Nash (02:03.751) Yeah, that’s a studio chat. It doesn’t say, yeah. Host, producers and guests, yeah, no.
Josh Dippold (02:21.76) in bed should be there. And while you’re doing that, I’ll read our description. So yeah, welcome everyone to our 39th meditation Q &A. And this one’s on hiri and otapa. I also say, I also pronounce otapa. I’ve heard it pronounced that way too, but I think otapa is probably better. So bear with me if I pronounce it both ways and I’ll get into what that is in a second here.
Wendy Nash (02:22.117) I’ll… I’ll… I’ll do that.
Okay, cool.
Josh Dippold (02:48.718) And I have this written, in this 39th installment of the ongoing live series with Wendy Nash, inquiring into meditation practice on and off the cushion, we plan to delve into hiri and otapa. Hiri is often translated as moral shame and conscience. Otapa is moral fear, fear of wrongdoing, moral dread, compunction, respect.
Together they are the bright guardians of the world. Wendy and I welcome all to engage with progressing towards clarifying and understanding Haryana Otapa from various teachings and from our own lives serving as foundational support for meditation practice and well-being. And in turn, how our meditation practice helps strengthen Haryana Otapa. We may or may not also explore some further importances of Haryana Otapa from
our own experiences and beyond, like the ups and downs involved, challenges, a related dream I recently had, successes, progress, lack of progress, inversions, reversals, balancing out new age misunderstandings and dismissals, hypocrisy, taboos, accountability, getting support, and how here in Otapa relate to the five precepts. And actually I’m gonna put in…
contemplation in there too. And maybe we’ll talk about how that is involved.
Wendy Nash (04:22.141) You might’ve had a dream, but I had a really good insight, was all about being good.
Josh Dippold (04:29.526) Okay, let’s hear it.
Wendy Nash (04:30.919) the desire to hear, okay, so it was just an insight that I had on Sunday morning. So today it’s Thursday evening. And basically what I realized is that it’s me who desires to see myself as good.
And that it’s actually my own desire to see myself as good that is triggering the whole conversation about am I a good person? Because I’m just always wanting to see myself as good. And then I’m going, yeah, but I’m not good, not good, I’m not good, da da da. But it’s actually only me who seeing that as that. So what I then realized is that it’s a kind of a lie that I was telling myself. You can only be lied to if you have a
an unconscious desire to believe the lie. You cannot be lied to once you’ve seen through the lie, once you’ve seen it, you know, you can’t be lied to so you have to be complicit in the lie. And then what I realized is that underneath that desire, so a couple of things about that, one is if it’s me who seeks, who wants to see myself as good, then what I saw is that
Actually, being good is nothing to do with the behaviors you do. So for instance, I went down just now before I came on to water the garden and I can water the garden at the end of the day and the consequence of doing that is that the plants feel healthier. It’s got nothing to do with whether I’m a good person or a bad person, that is irrelevant to whether the water, whether the garden gets watered.
So that was very interesting to just go, oh, this is straight cause and effect. Everything is just cause and effect, but actually to see that and to go, oh, the whole being good thing. Well, that’s just a load of rubbish. It’s got nothing to do with anything. And it solves that question about when does a good person who does bad things become a bad person? Because it’s all about the consequences. So it’s about cause and effect.
Wendy Nash (06:48.593) Anyway, and so I’m almost done. And then underneath that is actually hurt. I feel hurt. And then the other side of that, because I feel hurt, I actually want to hurt somebody back. Now I haven’t fully, fully unpacked it, but I thought that was a really cool one for Hirie and Otapa because what I noticed in reading the notes is that I had the outer awareness of consequences.
the knowing if I do this, harm will follow for me or for others. It includes regard for others for cause and effect for the web you’re part of, not fear-based guilt, but sober clarity. Otapa is pausing because you see where this leads. So that was 100 % the insight that I had. Whereas hiri, which is moral conscience, which is an inner sense of integrity, that
That one was nowhere to be seen. So it really made me think. You have to be good-hearted or kind-hearted to think, actually, I don’t want to shaft people. So that’s the end of my little drama and insight. So there you go.
Josh Dippold (08:10.606) No, this is great. I’d like to jump into this and not picking on Wendy, but just kind of use this as a general thing. what struck me is this notion of selfing in this. if there’s just kind of goodness or acting out of goodness instead of
like whatever, but once there’s an I, I want to be seen as, then there’s like conceit involved, right? But as soon as we remove kind of the I mean mine, you know, then there’s just kind of the verb, right? There’s just kind of action from the heart is what I got. like, yeah, let’s unpack this a little bit. Do you see the selfing involved in this?
you know, once there’s kind of like a less of a selfless nature. But then, you know, I have to say, well, there can also be kind of quote unquote evil that’s selfless too, that people are just acting on, you know.
probably unskillful, unwholesome. this is also, like this, you know, when we say good and bad, that means a lot of different things to a lot of different people, right? So I would say if we, it seems, if we reframe it as to, okay, what is skillful that’s gonna bring about the consequences that are gonna be of benefit for me and those around me, instead of I’m a good boy or I’m a bad boy kind of thing. You know what I mean? Yeah.
(Ai assist:) Enter Laura Geller and Willie Kunert—a married couple who met at Oberlin College almost 20 years ago, began meditating together as undergrads, lived in Southeast Asian monasteries, and now combine deep Buddhist practice with psychotherapy.
Laura (an assistant teacher under Beth Upton in the Pa-Auk tradition) and Willie (hospice chaplain, grief therapist) share their unlikely entries into the Dharma, their travels and practice in Vietnam, Laos, Cambodia and Thailand, the profound (and sometimes challenging) practice of ānāpānasati, pairing loving-kindness with the breath, Pa-Auk’s systematic depth, complete approach, the seduction (and pitfalls) of “leveling up,” and how Internal Family Systems (parts work) beautifully complements insight practice.
Also: long-term practice as partners and parents, working with mortality and grief, and their joint therapy practice MetaMind.
Suggested for anyone interested in householder practice, blending Dharma + therapy, making the breath genuinely joyful, or going deep in the Pa-Auk lineage.
00:00 – Intro & Welcome
00:54 – Who are Laura Geller & Willie Kunert?
02:07 – How both stumbled into meditation in college
05:50 – Jacques Rutzky – the teacher who looked genuinely happy
06:54 – Mortality, parental loss, and the spark of Dharma
08:07 – Josh’s entry via Beat Generation literature
10:22 – Traveling & practicing in Southeast Asia (Vietnam, Laos, Cambodia, Thailand)
14:08 – First Goenka course + finding a quiet forest monastery near Chiang Mai
15:08 – Shout-out to Jacques Rutzky episode https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KyoK_VroQKM
17:14 – The full spectrum of Goenka experiences
18:00 – Laura as Beth Upton assistant teacher – the real Pa-Auk system
20:04 – It’s not just “hard jhanas” – why the training feels so complete
23:23 – Tunnel vision & the danger of “leveling up”
25:06 – Willie’s current practice with Jacques + lasting appreciation for Pa-Auk
28:31 – The (in)famous Pa-Auk stupa diagram story
31:30 – Ānāpānasati deep dive – how we actually practice
32:00 – Bhante Guṇaratana + Ajahn Brahm influence: metta + beautiful breath
33:06 – “The breath was hard for me too”
34:40 – “So delicate” & breath like wind blowing
39:20 – MetaMind Therapy – IFS/parts work meets Dharma (Laura Geller & Willie Kunert)
41:13 – Willie’s specialty: grief, mortality & spiritual companionship
42:46 – Final messages: Enjoy the breath + it’s okay to change teachers
43:35 – Goodbye & thanks
Audio: Ānāpānasati with Heart, Parts Work & Grief | Ānāpānasati Series With Laura Geller & Willie Kunert
Here’s an ai assisted, cleaned up transcript:
Josh: Wholeness. Welcome. This is Josh of Integrating Presence and today I have Willie and Laura with me — Laura Geller and Willie Kunert. Hey guys!
Laura & Willie: Hey! Hello!
Josh: I’m happy to talk to you guys because we’ve practiced together in meditation groups. This is part of the Ānāpāna series, but I have a habit of covering all kinds of different topics, so it won’t be the only thing. For those who don’t know, who are you guys and what kind of work do you do?
Laura: We met in various meditation communities, a couple of different ones, mostly in the Pa-Auk lineage with teachers we’ve been working with the past few years. That takes up a good chunk of my time — many hours a week in meditation of various kinds. Professionally I work as a counselor/therapist, licensed independent social worker, and I specialize in Internal Family Systems and parts work. We also have an eight-year-old daughter named Felicity.
Willie: Laura and I met at Oberlin College almost twenty years ago. We started meditating together as sophomores/juniors in college, got especially interested in Buddhism a few years after that, and had the privilege of spending several months in Southeast Asia — Vietnam, Laos, Cambodia, Thailand — seeing Buddhism where it came from and spending time in monasteries. I lived in Zen practice centers for a while in the U.S., then practiced in the Pa-Auk tradition with Beth Upton and Brother Win. Professionally I worked for many years as a hospice chaplain and now we have a private practice together, MetaMind Therapy, where I focus more on grief counseling and individual clients.
Josh: I’m always interested — when I meet people in the Dharma — how did you first get exposed to it?
Laura: The first spark for me was working at a summer program for high school youth in Missouri. A colleague led guided meditations and it sparked this interest in something deeper, in the spiritual realm. I hadn’t been interested in spirituality at all before that. I got into Sufi poetry, yoga nidra, and then back at college we ended up meeting Jacques Rudski, who became our meditation teacher. Slowly over time I felt more and more drawn to the path of letting go. He was the first person over fifty I had met who seemed genuinely happy, and I thought, “I want to go in that direction.”
Willie: My parents got interested in Buddhism after both of their parents died close to each other. As a middle-schooler my mom got me to meditate with her a few times — I found it mostly torturous, but one sit something happened. In college I was really struggling with depression and anxiety. Meditation became something I turned to — not exactly as a coping strategy, more wanting to escape — but it produced spiritual experiences that changed the direction of my life. After college we went to Southeast Asia, lived in monasteries, and that’s when I really wanted to dig into the Buddhist thing in particular.
Josh: (shares his own story via the Beat poets and immediate relief in 2012)
Josh: Tell us about your time in Asia.
Willie & Laura: We spent several months in Vietnam, Laos, Cambodia, Thailand about eleven years ago, and another month this past fall in Thailand. One funny thing — when we first arrived in Vietnam and saw people bowing and praying for wealth and business success I thought, “This is what I hate about religion!” Now I’m more accepting — that’s just humans. We ended up at a monastery in the mountains outside Hanoi, waking at 3 a.m., practicing with the community — our first real retreat. From there we did a Goenka course in Cambodia, then several months at a quiet forest monastery outside Chiang Mai recommended by Jack Arpen. We had lots of access to the abbot and that’s where we really sank our teeth into practice.
Josh: You’re not casual spiritual tourists. Laura is one of Beth Upton’s assistant teachers in the Pa-Auk lineage. Can you give us the nutshell on why this training feels so deep and complete?
Laura: Most people on Reddit think Pa-Auk = hard jhanas. Yes, there’s a lot of time building purity of mind, but it’s all in service of vipassanā and the specific discernments. It’s wild how detailed and systematic it is. For someone like me who is not naturally systematic, I was daunted for a long time, but when I finally dove in I kept being blown away. The teachings on dependent origination, the five aggregates — everything the Buddha talked about comes alive. At the same time, it’s easy to get tunnel vision: “If I just get the next jhana, the next object…” We have to remember that’s not the point.
Willie: I practiced several years in Pa-Auk with Beth and Brother Win and it opened things nothing else had — especially the Brahma-vihāras. Now I mostly practice with Jacques again, but I still have huge appreciation for the system. It feels complete, yet you don’t have to do every single piece to awaken.
Josh: Let’s talk ānāpānasati.
Laura: It’s been my main practice as long as I can remember. I was very influenced by Bhante Guṇaratana and Ajahn Brahm — pairing metta with the breath, cultivating ease, relaxation, joy, loving-kindness first, then bringing that happy mind to the breath so the breath itself becomes beautiful.
Willie: The breath has actually been one of the harder objects for me. This summer Brother Win told me, “The breath was hard for me too.” That was incredibly validating! Two things that helped: one teacher saying “so delicate… let the breath be so delicate,” and realizing I can experience breath like wind blowing — no need to control it.
Josh: We close with their therapy practice.
Laura & Willie: Our practice is called MetaMind Therapy — metamindtherapy.com. We both use Internal Family Systems / parts work, which lines up beautifully with working with the hindrances. Willie specializes in grief, death & dying, and spiritual companionship. Laura does individual and group psychotherapy and deeper coaching for meditators. Many clients have no Buddhist background, but the work is the same: offering care, attention, and loving-kindness to the parts of ourselves we usually reject.
Laura (closing): If there’s one thing I’d encourage listeners: experiment with ways to genuinely enjoy the breath.
Willie (closing): It’s okay to have different teachers at different times in our practice. Keep cultivating the beautiful mind states however they arise.
In this thirty-eighth installment of the ongoing live series with Wendy Nash inquiring into meditation practice on and off the cushion we to delve into the influence of language in meditation. Recently a podcast guest mentioned a turning point when a teacher described the breath as: oh so delicate. There’s also an exercise some insight teachers do of getting into a meditative state and then reading off a list of words that are quite emotionally charged both positive and negative and then noticing the effects when dropped into meditation. (We do something like this with various words related to acceptance.) And if we can notice how impactful this is in meditation, how does that translate off the cushion? Also, how can language hinder and how can it help liberate? All this and more
0:00 – Introduction and Weather Chat
1:38 – Topic Introduction: The Influence of Language in Meditation
2:58 – Onomatopoeia and How Words Sound in Different Languages
6:26 – Language and Thought in Meditation
8:30 – Auditory vs Visual Thinking and Word Choice in Instructions
10:57 – Precision in Meditation Language and Over-Reliance on Words
13:53 – Guided Exercise: Dropping Acceptance Words into Meditation
16:32 – Discussion on the Acceptance Words Exercise
21:10 – Radical Acceptance and Wisdom in Arising Thoughts
49:51 – Meditation Helping with Reactions and Regret
51:15 – Internal Self-Talk and Judgment
54:55 – Moral Shame, Self-Deprecation, and Humble Brags
59:20 – Wrapping Up: Kindness and Christmas Advice
1:00:21 – Goodbye
Ai summarizes it thus:
1. **The Power of Words in Meditation Instruction**
– Certain phrases from teachers can create breakthroughs (e.g., describing the breath as “oh so delicate”).
– Subtle differences in wording matter: “observe the breath” feels distancing and dualistic, while “notice the breath” feels more open and direct.
– Historical translations of Pali terms (e.g., “enlightenment”) carry outdated Victorian-era cultural baggage that can mislead modern practitioners.
2. **Language as Sensory and Bodily Experience**
– Words land differently depending on the person: Wendy is highly auditory; others are more visual or kinesthetic.
– Onomatopoeia and sound symbolism show how some words mimic real-world sounds or sensations and affect the body more vividly.
– Reference to a research article: certain words (especially vivid, concrete, or emotionally charged ones) are more “surprising,” grab attention, and stick in memory longer.
Josh guides a short meditation, rapidly reading a list of gentle acceptance-oriented words/phrases (e.g., allow, permit, embrace, soften, surrender, tenderness, “it is like this,” “this belongs”).
– Wendy notes varied reactions: “allow” feels effortless and empowering; “embrace” or “surrender” can feel forced or trigger personal associations (e.g., childhood memory of unwanted physical affection).
– Highlights how the same instruction lands uniquely for each person and can reveal resistance, memories, or personality traits.
4. **Language Off the Cushion: Daily Life and Relationships**
– Harsh, passive-aggressive, or veiled toxic speech can be more damaging than overtly angry words.
– Discussion of “wise speech” (right speech): avoiding harm, gossip, deception, and “acting with a twist.”
– Gender observations on meanness: women sometimes use subtle, relational aggression; men more direct/physical.
– The importance of honesty as the foundation; lying (even to oneself) removes safeguards.
– Self-talk mirrors external speech: judgmental inner dialogue spills into how we treat others.
5. **Meditation as a Safe Space**
– The cushion amplifies sensitivity to language and emotion, making it easier to notice habitual patterns, reactivity, and inner narratives.
– Meditation creates space for response rather than reaction, revealing unconscious motivations and reducing self-inflicted drama.
– Keeping precepts (especially wise speech) reduces mental “gunk” that arises during sits.
6. **Closing Reflections**
– Shame can be healthy when it signals ethical awareness rather than self-beating.
– Humble-bragging and false humility are pitfalls; sincerity and kindness are the goal.
– Final holiday advice: be kind, give yourself slack, avoid excess alcohol, and choose words that bring peace.
Overall, the conversation emphasizes that language is not neutral—it shapes perception, emotion, bodily sensation, relationships, and meditative depth. Mindful attention to words (in instructions, self-talk, and daily speech) can liberate, while careless or harmful language hinders both practice and life. The tone is warm, honest, and practical, blending personal stories, Buddhist insight, and linguistic research.
*There’s naturally an ongoing open call for meditation (related) questions for the (roughly) monthly “Meditation Q & A” either by the various social media means listed; integratingpresence[at]protonmail.com or just showing to type/ask live.*
Background
Regular, current and past visitors to Integrating Presence may recall the monthly series “Ask Us Anything” I did with Denny K Miu from August 2020 until January 2022 — partially including and continuing on with Lydia Grace as co-host for awhile until March 2022.
For a fewmonthsthereafter I did various Insight Timer live events exploring potential new directions and/or a continuation of the Ask Us Anything format while weaving in other related teachings to these events.
Then, after chats with meditation coach Wendy Nash, it became clear to start a new collaboration similar to “Ask Us Anything” simply and clearly called “Meditation Q & A” especially due to the original intent of the Ask Us Anything’s being “discussions about meditation and related topics.”
Audio: Language | “Meditation Q & A With Wendy Nash” #38
In this fourth episode of the anapanasati series Integrating Presence welcomes meditation teacher Jacques Rutzky for a deep, personal conversation on mindfulness of breathing (anapanasati) and its role in daily life. Jacques shares his 50+ year journey into meditation—starting at age 16 in Detroit, discovering the Pali Canon, a pivotal 1974 retreat with Joseph Goldstein, and 45 years under Thai teacher Dhiravamsa (formerly Phra Bhikkhu Dhammasuddhi). He emphasizes practical, individualized breath practice over rigid methods, adapting to where students naturally feel the breath (nose, chest, abdomen). The discussion explores modern challenges like screen addiction and fragmented attention, hindrances (craving, aversion, etc.), and using breath as both anchor and refuge. Jacques advocates experimentation, slowing down, and viewing the mind as one tool among many—not the only one.
0:00 – Intro: Mind as a Tool, Not the Only One
0:53 – Guest Intro: Who is Jacques Rusky?
1:58 – Jacques’ Background: From Psychotherapy to Meditation Teaching
3:19 – How Josh Discovered Jacques via Students
4:12 – Preference for Deep, Personal Teacher-Student Connections
7:44 – Jacques’ Early Dharma Path (Age 16, Pali Canon, No Teacher)
9:05 – First Retreat (1974 with Joseph Goldstein)
11:17 – Meeting Teacher Dhiravamsa: Hitchhiking, Cooking, 45-Year Bond
20:13 – Dhiravamsa’s Lineage: Thai Theravada, Forest vs. Scholarly Traditions
26:34 – Anapanasati: Why Breath? Always Available, No Need to Create
28:39 – Teaching Breath: Individualize Where You Feel It (Nose/Chest/Abdomen)
30:50 – Breath as Concentration + Insight Tool; Refuge from Chaos
33:29 – Modern Challenges: Screen Addiction, Stimulation Overload
(Ai assist:) A short, unscripted solo reflection on some subtle patterns showing up at the intersection of Western Dhamma practice, language, and politics — especially in the California scene.
Topics touched on:
How maybe sometimes “not taking practice too seriously” can quietly become a new form of spiritual conceit or complacency
The strange silence around certain political issues in circles that used to be very vocal
Affinity / identity-based groups in meditation centers: sincere intention, but does it sometimes create a new kind of segregation?
The politics of peace (as far as I know it’s the only “side” the Buddha ever took)
Small language shifts (“on land,” “self-paced,” pronoun introductions) and the way they can divide more than they unify
A gentle reminder that language can liberate or it can confuse and separate — may we use it skillfully
No finger-pointing, no conclusions forced — just honest observations offered with metta
Ai cleaned transcript with some extra edits by me:
I’d been thinking about picking this up with Wendy again, continuing on from our last “Ask Us Anything” meditation Q&A, basically about balance in meditation and Dhamma and the lack thereof. I mentioned that this form of Dhamma on the West Coast has this particular sentiment in group of kind of making fun of awakening not being really achievable and then it kind of inadvertently turns into superiority conceit by belittling the notion of anyone taking it seriously — that it is even possible at all, and this becomes a type of distorted humility for those who buy into it and profess it. They bond around it, and all the while this normalizes and conditions being comfortable with complacency and resignation.
I don’t feel it’s really conducive to the practice. It’s understandable, though, because it’s the highest bar possible. I just want to point this out, not as blame or shame or anything.
I forgot to mention there’s the other extreme: politicians and powerful people pretending to be common and relatable for various reasons, a PR move to show they’re with the common man, that they’ve got it so hard and went through this and that, when maybe it’s not true or completely made up as a farce to make them appear something they’re not. That doesn’t really come into play so much in Dhamma circles. You see it in some other spiritual circles, and of course it speaks to spiritual ego. That’s another thing I’m working on too.
What I wanted to go into here is this notion—well, actually more the California political thing. There’s a paradox: to call something out as being overly political is in a way a political move too. I listened to a podcast the other day about how a certain branch of Dhamma in California is not mentioning the Israel-Palestine issue at all. I’m not calling for anyone to speak nor am I saying they shouldn’t. I just don’t feel personally called to get politically involved in that. But I am echoing (or bringing back up now) the sentiment of other politics they’ve done, and now they’re shying away from that, which is really interesting.
I don’t need to draw conclusions or say any more because then I would be getting politically involved, but I do want to draw attention to it. I noticed that they championed someone for a really long time, and as soon as it went against the agenda or she said something they didn’t like, they never mentioned her again. It’s just like they never championed her at all anymore. It’s interesting how these political climates can change and how things become yesterday’s news and get buried in the memory hole.
Another one is setting up special groups. I understand it because certain marginalized groups haven’t had a place or aren’t coming to certain organizations in the numbers that people would like. They’ve set up groups that self-identify and are color-coded so everyone knows these are affinity spaces. I don’t have good answers about whether this should be done or not. I just know that in a way it almost seems like segregating and using exclusivity. How does this work with inclusion? It’s including but also segregating at the same time because no one else in the organization is allowed in that exclusive group. I haven’t witnessed this dynamic in person and seen how it works and how it helps or hurts. I just find it really interesting the way this is being done.
On the Israel-Palestine thing again: I don’t choose sides or get politically involved other than to say what I think both sides can agree with, which is that the Buddha always calls for peace everywhere all the time. I care about all demographics. It’s always about peace all the time for me. That doesn’t have a monopoly on any label or group or identity. It’s universally applicable everywhere all the time. If we want to politicize peace or focus on peace, that’s what it should be about. I know it’s more complicated than that and I don’t want to downplay anything that happened in the past, but the ultimate aim should be peace for everyone all the time, everywhere. That’s where the heart should aim. No matter one’s politics, if I’m going to take a political side, it’s on the side of peace as much as possible. I don’t advocate any kind of violence or war for anything. ‘Hostility is never ended by hostility; only by non-hostility is hostility ended. That’s an ancient and eternal law.’ Some might call that a cop-out, but that’s okay.
Another interesting language thing I’ve seen is “on land / self-paced.” When I was in England, retreatants kept saying “I’ve landed.” Now we have “on land.” We don’t say “in-building” even though being in buildings are a big part of it. “Land” has this connotation of something that can be bought and sold. It reminded me—maybe too loosely—of the Buddhist enlightenment verses about finding the architect, tearing apart the rafters and ridge-pole of the house of self so no architect will build the Buddha another.
Not to pick on California too much, but another language thing: for instance some Theravada teachers switch between saying “Theravada tradition” and “our tradition” and “their tradition,” when referring to this which gets confusing—are you in it or outside it?
The big one is pronouns. I feel this is fortunately going by the wayside now. One thing I realized is that it functions as language control and division. All English speakers shared the same basic language, and suddenly introducing mandatory pronoun preferences front-loads every interaction and instantly sorts people into camps: those who comply and those who don’t. Divided people are easier to control than people unified by a common language. (Seems to promote self-censorship and walking on egg shells of sometimes seemingly arbitrary preferences while at times adding extra unneeded identifications.)
Language can be used to liberate or it can be used to confuse, mislead, divide, and deceive. May we all use language well and optimally, for genuine well-being and awakening.
Audio: (A)Political Notes Mostly Reflected In The California Dhamma Scene
(Ai assist:) Executive coach and deep Dharma practitioner Brian Newman shares his journey into the Pa-Auk Sayadaw meditation lineage and the transformative power of strong samatha (concentration) practice.
Brian explains how the need for unwavering presence in his coaching work led him to meditation, quitting alcohol, and eventually discovering that the ancient maps of the mind described in the texts actually work in real life. He emphasizes the essential role of faith (saddhā) in overcoming skeptical doubt, the natural arising of thoughts during practice (and why suppression is never taught), and his preference for building extremely refined jhana-based concentration before intensive vipassanā.
Drawing from direct training with Sayalay Susīlā (Pa-Auk’s longtime attendant), Brian describes the two main tracks in the Pa-Auk system: the absorption-jhana path (requiring nimitta, mastery of kasinas, and rigorous three-hour resolution sits) and the Four Elements dry-insight path used both for health and as an alternative route to strong concentration. He reflects candidly on not completing the full Visuddhimagga-style training yet still experiencing profound results, and explores the broader “jhana spectrum” — from light access concentration to hardcore absorption states — and why clinging to any one definition as “the only real jhana” is unhelpful.
Along the way the discussion touches on:
The re-emergence of serious samatha teaching in the West
The 14 ways of mastery for psychic abilities (iddhis)
Keeping an open yet discerning attitude toward esoteric phenomena
A simple recipe for success in deep practice: correct instruction + patient persistence
A rich, honest, and inspiring dialogue for anyone interested in mindfulness of breathing (ānāpānasati), the gradual training, jhana, or the Pa-Auk approach to awakening. Ideal for intermediate and advanced meditators seeking both practical insight and encouragement to go deeper.\
00:00 Introduction and Welcoming Brian Newman 00:33 Who is Brian Newman? (Background as executive coach) 01:50 How Brian brings Dharma concepts into corporate work 04:02 Brian’s meditation journey beginning (from coaching needs to retreats) 06:09 Discovering that ancient teachings “actually work” and building faith 07:09 The role of faith (shraddha) vs skeptical doubt in practice 08:19 Faith in the meditation object and overcoming hindrances 09:19 Past-life paramis and who succeeds in deep samatha 09:53 Thoughts in meditation: natural arising, not to be suppressed 12:19 Thought as a natural phenomenon (like sound) 13:15 Personal insights from coaching on papañca and confidence 14:46 Introduction to Anapana (mindfulness of breathing) 15:24 Brian’s entry into the Pa-Auk lineage via Sayalay Susila 17:05 Choosing strong samatha before vipassana 17:35 The two Pa-Auk paths: Jhana track vs Four Elements (dry insight) 18:06 Absorption jhanas, nimitta, and mastery requirements 20:19 Training the mind to be pliant and wieldy 22:00 My current practice and why a shift in interest toward deeper ultimate reality 23:27 Reconciling dry vipassana and later returning to strong samatha 24:48 Four Elements practice as health practice and its shamanic quality 26:16 Elemental perception and potential psychic abilities 28:10 Desire for direct seeing of ultimate materiality/mentality 29:09 Abhidhamma as a clear manual when the mind is sharp 30:23 The jhana spectrum and why some Western traditions de-emphasized deep jhana 31:27 Signs of the “end times” – abandonment of samatha 32:21 Stories of Western teachers with strong jhana/citta practice 34:12 Christina Feldman’s fierce instruction on the nimitta 35:26 The 14 ways of mastery – intense pliancy training 38:16 Openness (or lack thereof) to siddhis and the esoteric 39:02 The miracle of instruction and the role of intuition in teaching 40:27 Experiences in deep states (piti, divine ear, floating, etc.) 41:59 Leigh Brasington quote on the jhana wars 42:49 Teaching the whole spectrum without dogmatism 44:37 Recipe for success: correct instruction + patient persistence 45:29 Jhanic eye postures as a “steering wheel” for concentration 47:49 Preserving a little magic in practice 48:01 Closing thanks and well-wishes
New podcast in Danish launched from friend and fellow meditator / teacher Niels Lyngsø called Den Pragmatiske Vej (The Pragmatic Way) . . . links to various platforms to listen: https://t.co/sqtBQ4wDXB
My Series Studying And Practicing With “The Iddhipāda-Vibhaṅga Sutta — An Analysis Of The Bases Of Power” (SN 51:20): Introduction; The Sutta’s Key Encapsulation Paragraph & A Translation Reading (1 of 7)
Audio: Faith, Persistence, Nimitta, Waiting For Jhana And The Four Elements | Anapanasati Series With Brian Newman
Unedited transcript via YouTube:
Welcome. This is Josh integrating presence; inner skilled. Today I have Brian Newman with me. Brian,
what’s going on today? Great to see you, Josh. Like I was just saying, nothing I enjoy more than talking Dharma and Jonas with the
practitioner. Well, it’s it’s it’s it’s pretty cool, you know. Um, when I think of all the
things we can do in this this pretty much brief life, I really haven’t come across much better than what we’re doing
here. And this is a big part of the path, I would say. Um, and it can open up a lot of the other parts of the path
in a way of putting it. But so to get us started here with my classic question, who’s Brian Newman? What kind of work
does he do? It’s a funny way to ask it. Um, right. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Who’s Brian Newman? He doesn’t seem to be in control of the show, so I hesitate to speak from his voice, but let’s go ahead and do that
anyway because it’s a conventional way to talk. Uh I’m in my early 50s and I’ve
been an executive coach for about uh going on about 15 years now. I do I do
exclusive pretty exclusively businessto business. So what that means is I work with large public companies throughout
the world and I do uh one-on-one coaching for senior leaders and I also do group leadership development
programs. So my sort of forte is long duration about a year um developmental
work in a corporate context which can be very very dry but Josh the truth is and
maybe hopefully those people won’t listen to this podcast they probably won’t find it. I’m teaching dharma in corporate context and I’m using
different words. I have taught the six yogas in corporate context using different words and people get it. They
understand what it feels like to be in a god realm. They know what it feels like to be in a hell realm. We’re in that like six times a day. And so what I what
I take as a great uh point of joy and pride in my work is I’m sort of Trojan horsing deep spiritual concepts into
modern language and it works. Uh which is evidenced by the fact that my clients keep having me back year after year to
run the same programs over and over. How did you get interested in this? And
then we’ll get into the dhamma. That’s what I really want to talk about. And then uh if if you don’t mind like maybe a common criticism might be okay these
are really high influential people. Are they just like maybe appropriating these
concepts and you know making them into more than they actually are and just
using it more for to boost ego to boost power you know like maybe criticisms
like that like are they really sincere? what’s their level of syntheticity, authenticity and and how might that
interfere or not with with you know uh with uh I guess
well I mean we can get into the whole ethics things which is huge but but anyway that I think that’s enough and I
I I don’t want to gloss over this but I I don’t want to spend a lot of time either on it because I want to we would
talk more dharma here. Yeah, I think the the appropriation um isn’t so much of a challenge I think
because I’m actually not using dharma concepts and I’m never saying dharma. I don’t say Buddha, I don’t say meditation. And so there’s nothing to appropriate from that sort of cultural
perspective, I guess, or the Buddhist cosmology perspective. It’s really about finding a way to talk to people that resonates that isn’t too spiritual so
that it turns them off. So if we speak to a CRO, which is a chief revenue
officer, which means he probably runs he or she probably runs a several hundred person team that is focused on generating revenue every day of the
week. They don’t have time for that. They don’t want to hear it. And so what’s the way? How can we get into
their ears? And so it’s a really it’s a it’s a difficult thing. And I think there’s probably few people who can sort
of have one foot in the in the spiritual camp and then one foot in the I can talk to a chief revenue officer camp and not
be offputting. So that’s kind of the the line I’m trying to tow area.
Well, right on. Yeah. and I I’ve come across your work on a a particular
podcast and I appreciate hearing this and one of the things I wanted to reach out to you and this is the on upon
series that I’m doing several sub episodes now so we’ll we’ll get I want to spin the crux on that and in
particular you um te tell us uh tell the audience about the background of your practice um one of the reasons I reached
out is because you’re familiar with the PA lineage which was what I’m you know in now studying and practicing thing for
the most part. And yeah, it’s it’s tied up with what I just said about becoming a coach. So, I was around
I was in my later 30s and I’d been a salesperson for a long time. Um, which which leads to certain good
behavioral qualities, good listening, good questions, stuff like that. But I became a coach and the demands of me were really different. I need to show up
with full presence with someone, you know, perfect, beautiful presence. That meant that um Joshua, that meant I
needed to stop I needed to stop drinking. it it it wasn’t going to be okay to ever show up to somebody hung
over. I realized really quickly when became a coach. Then I started to think, well, I thought I was a good listener, but there’s a lot of things happening in
my head when I’m trying to hear this person talk. And I had this idea that maybe if I sort of looked at the mind
and I had some I did martial arts for a long time, so you know, it was it wasn’t wasn’t totally foreign to me the idea of meditation. I had this idea that maybe I
could quiet the mind and that would be that would make me a better coach. And it wasn’t that I was aiming to be a
better coach. I was aiming to be a better service to the people that I was coaching and I went to a goko retreat. So I was like let’s go do this. It was
actually part of my coaching school. The coaching school that I went to said you need to start meditating 10 minutes a day. And I’m like it’s my personalities.
We’ll probably find out here in a few minutes. And I and I thought well if 10 minutes is good 30 is probably better. And so I did 30. And then I think if 30
was good I think I I quickly went to an hour. And then I was like well maybe I should go on a retreat. And this did
nothing to quiet the mind. It just made me see how loud it was. And that was the start of the whole thing. So once the
loudness can be seen maybe from sort of a witness perspective, it’s like whoa, that ain’t okay. Let’s do something
about that. And that started a 15 year long journey of um first, you know,
This is the thirty-seventh installment of the ongoing live series with Wendy Nash inquiring into meditation practice on and off the cushion. I recently witnessed a reoccurrence of various perplexing sentiments from the (USA) West Coast Dharma scene (which even parallel general society). After running this by Wendy she rightly pointed out tinges of self-righteousness in my approach. So how do we exercise judiciousness and discernment while observing life at large and in meditation without falling into traps of judgmentalism and unhelpful righteousness? Subsequently, how do we skillfully convey this in our speech and actions? What else can catch us off balance in meditation and the wider world? How do we regain balance, and how does this all interrelate? We fill in the details and get into all this and more
And here’s how ai summarized it (with minor edits from me):
Wendy joins with a freshly twisted ankle (courtesy of a sneaky pebble and a poorly designed footpath she was inspecting on her e-bike), turning the mishap into a perfect real-time example of how quickly we can lose physical, emotional, and mental equilibrium. What starts as a light-hearted injury update spirals into a rich, compassionate conversation touching on:
– Noticing and owning hurt instead of armoring it with judgment or self-righteousness
– The subtle cynicism in some Western Dharma scenes that jokingly dismisses awakening as impossible (and how that often masks personal pain or fear of failure)
– Dealing with politicians who block you on social media, toxic news, and other “poisonous food” for the mind
– Wendy posits dukkha as discomfort and sukha as ease/comfort rather than the heavier suffering/happiness framing
– The power of deliberately noticing tiny gestures people make that put you at ease—and how that single practice replenishes energy and naturally spreads kindness
– Taking responsibility without self-blame, starting where you are, and using what you have
– Sending genuine love and support to viewers facing cancer and other hardships
Warm, honest, funny, and deeply human—two long-time practitioners openly sharing their own wobbles while gently reminding everyone that balance is recoverable, one mindful, kind step at a time. Lots of metta, practical tips, and zero pretension.
*There’s naturally an ongoing open call for meditation (related) questions for the (roughly) monthly “Meditation Q & A” either by the various social media means listed; integratingpresence[at]protonmail.com or just showing to type/ask live.*
Background
Regular, current and past visitors to Integrating Presence may recall the monthly series “Ask Us Anything” I did with Denny K Miu from August 2020 until January 2022 — partially including and continuing on with Lydia Grace as co-host for awhile until March 2022.
For a fewmonthsthereafter I did various Insight Timer live events exploring potential new directions and/or a continuation of the Ask Us Anything format while weaving in other related teachings to these events.
Then, after chats with meditation coach Wendy Nash, it became clear to start a new collaboration similar to “Ask Us Anything” simply and clearly called “Meditation Q & A” especially due to the original intent of the Ask Us Anything’s being “discussions about meditation and related topics.”
Audio: Is There An Objective Purpose In Life? | “Meditation Q & A With Wendy Nash” #35
Hey, welcome. This is Josh integrating presence and today rejoined with Wendy Nash. Wendy, what’s up?
Well, I’m here on Gabby Gabby country in Queensland in Kabulra and this morning very literally closer to the ground. So,
today I’m sitting slightly to the side because my foot is resting on my bed on a cold uh pack uh compressed in the rice
method. There you go. Um cuz one small pebble and I just fell over. that’s not
at my strength. But um I’m doing this thing where I walk around my neighborhood every day or you know a few
times a week and just report the foot paths that aren’t working or and I’ll write posts on on foot path quality and
the impact and what I’m learning. It’s very interesting. Foot paths are much more interesting than you can imagine.
You you sort of take them for granted like every piece of infrastructure. You just take it for granted. But I have
learned so much. I’ve been doing it for maybe a month and a half and today’s one
was uh actually about a path and I had I tried to I had my bike because it and
it’s a big cargo ebike so it’s about 40 kilos and I don’t know what that is in
American numbers. You’ll have to figure that out but yeah I don’t know I don’t know how
to work out all those Fahrenheit things. Um, so it’s technically I know it’s a dupa so
um the last country on earth Fahrenheit. It’s like no I think you’re up there with I don’t know Saudi Arabia or
somewhere. Um so um
uh so there’s a storm water drain which means there’s no accessibility ramp. So already that was a problem. And then I
walk along. And in Australia, you know, when you when you’re on a path and they put in a sort of two uh metal bars a
little bit apart, so you have to do a zigzag around that. That’s to stop people like uh bikes and stuff like
that. But it also stops people who have legitimate um accessibility needs like pram and um wheelchairs and and all
that. And so and and where I went and then further on uh there was it was
actually quite muddy on the it was quite muddy buildup because we’ve had a little bit of rain lately and so this the leaves were gathered and one part of the
the footpath was actually quite pulled in all that mud and uh not too bad but I
couldn’t I just didn’t see a pebble and when I was trying to walk back um
because the path actually goes out onto this beautiful park and then onto the rail trail, which would just be amazing
for people on mobility scooters, just make a sort of a real life quality change for them. And I was walking back
and I just I was trying to figure out how to go through these banana benders we call them. And um and my my my ankle
just rolled often rolls now cuz it’s just does it all the time, you know. So
um I went down, the bike went down. I thought I was going to break my nose cuz
I whacked my nose and yeah, I was going, “Oh, wow. This is actually thing.” Oh,
we have someone Deborah Long C1M. So lovely to see you. Hi. So I fell over
and then that was the end of my little walking journey for today. For the week.
Luckily, it’s Thursday. I’ll be back doing it next week. Sorry. Sorry to my infrastructure guys.
Same run. Yeah, you’re a trooper, Wendy. Um, it was your the the eye last time and maybe you give
a quick update on that. And those banana benders, um, those aren’t as much the states. Uh, they’re in England and in
Denmark quite a bit. Uh, but, you know, I guess it’s to stop people from going through there really fast on like
scooters and bikes and stuff like that. So, you know, so people don’t run people over or something like that. But like
you said, they’re they’re a pain to get through. And if people have a, you know, if they have like a scooter or whatever,
they have to slow down or they can’t get through it or have to do something else. So yeah, I I don’t know. I don’t know
what to say. I don’t know the solution. Maybe you do. Well, you you actually don’t need to have banana benders. You know, if people
ride quickly, people ride quickly. A big part of the problem is that so much of our land space is just taken up by the
car. So if you create streets that are safer for everybody to use, people will
use them. And at the moment we’re all restricted because of this private uh
this sort of privatization of public land which is the car uh which is the road. Uh so and people have this idea
that they’re not allowed that only cars and motorized vehicles are allowed on roads which now that you’ve lived in
Denmark you would go yeah that’s not true but you in America it is. Yeah pretty much in
America it’s I mean like people treat bikers like crap in America. Yeah. Exactly. Exactly.
Not in Denmark. Denmark they have like oh like total respect and you know just as much right away if not more than
everything else. So yeah. So uh yeah. So anyway, so we’ve
got Deborah Long and she’s asking what’s my name? You look better, whatever that means. Beautiful.
Josh, your makeup is stunning today. Is that? Yes. Yes. Yes.
I don’t I I actually don’t have any on so Oh, there you go. Well, that makes all of us. So, to follow up on my skin
cancer last time, there you are, Joyce. You know, it’s the body. It’s just the body. The body just it, you know, I’m
slowly getting to this idea that the body isn’t against me. The body does
what the body does. And and so, of course, it’s going to do what it does.
Integrating Presence 