Kindly Cutting Crap With Wendy Nash

[9/16/2022 UPDATE: Learn more about the new monthly “Meditation Q & A” with Wendy and I on September 29th at 7pm Central]

On July 10th, I spoke with Wendy Nash, meditation coach and forthcoming Integrating Presence cohost of the monthly series “Meditation Q & A” mostly about her background, PTSD, love, honesty, wise speech and open questions

Wendy’s bio:

Wendy Nash has a 4-year somatic psychotherapy diploma, her Bachelor of Psychology Honors thesis studied the effects of loving-kindness meditation on prosocial behavior and she’s been practicing loving-kindness and other meditations for almost 20 years. These inform her work with clients who are interested in learning how to integrate various meditation practices in daily life.

These qualifications and experiences have been profoundly positive on her wellbeing and relationships, and turned around the negatives of difficult early life experiences.

These formal qualifications influence how I coach people with meditation:
– BPsych with an honors thesis studying the effect of lovingkindness meditation (LKM) on prosocial behavior based on Tajfel’s Social Identity Theory and Fredrickson’s research into LKM.
– 4-year diploma of somatic psychotherapy
– Currently studying a 2-year diploma of Mindfulness & Compassion meditation teacher training through the Insight Meditation Institute.

Informal work:
– 20 years of meditation practices in different traditions and countries, mostly focused on lovingkindness but also insight (vipassana) because kindness has shown to be the key to mindfulness’s efficacy and it’s this that leads to better relationships and wellbeing.
– Personal psychotherapy to understand myself and others more clearly.
– Strong engagement with understanding what narcissism is, when it causes problems, when it’s useful and how we can integrate the unhelpful bits, and why we all have an ego (even fully enlightened people have an ego!).
– Communication skills, especially how to listen deeply and pay heed to question syntax.

More specifically, some of what we address:

• Wendy’s acknowledgement of the often overlooked time and work involved in podcasting as well as honoring the elders where she lives
• near enemies of compassion
• we’re in it together is compassionate but not suffering along with
• community protocol
• involvement of word usage in listening
• [Post chat comment: It’s important to initially forego self-censorship in order to evaluate if self-censoring would be helpful, skillful, wise, and wholesome instead of (automatically) defaulting to conform to prescribed, established, in-group, collective, peer group, etc. ideologies and parameters]
• Wendy’s adolescence and background including complex PTSD, studying psychology, anger, tumultuous relationships, how reading a ‘Jesus loves everybody’ sign changed her life, wanting to know what love and like is and wanting that
• How desperation leads to spiritual practice for some but not others
• Not everybody is a willing party to change
• The necessity of being both willing and able in relationships
• futility of mentioning certain things to certain people
• control as a belief
• information instead of beliefs
• Tempering brutal honesty and more reasons for/behind the name of Wendy’s site kindlycutthecrap.com
• The lack of capacity to forget in/with PTSD
• resolving trauma with EMDR, loving-kindness meditation, laughter and connection
• Wise speech
• Wendy’s work with clients to establish a meditation practice
• Self-love
• Self-honesty
• Reverting to past patterning in challenging situations
• Wendy’s moving truck breaking down and the ensuing political Q & A sessions with locals
• How to ask open questions
• [Post chat comment: I wonder if open questioning was more adopted and widespread less conclusions would be arrived at which has its own pros and cons]
• Shifting and supporting language
• [Post chat comment: While yes it is kind of annoying to have someone jump in and say they’ve done something similar then talk about themselves I wonder how much of this is perceived as establishing connection, validation, resonance, belonging and how much is unhelpful ego? And again, when refraining from doing this how much — skillfully or unskillfully — is deliberately being self-censored and held back from being expressed and shared perhaps due to clinging to a belief about how rigidly one ought to adhere to such a guideline?]
• Open questions ending divisiveness
• Human commonality of wanting prosperity
• Shame, blame and separation
• Owning ones emotions to address the tendency to use pejoratives about racists
• Curiosity to discover underling emotions
• Travel
• Me wanting to preserve the question “why” to explore the mysteries and Wendy’s elaborating on the practical benefits of not using “why” instead using “how” and “what”
• My noticing incongruence in some between racist speech and non-racist behavior

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Wendy’s site: Kindly Cut The Crap

https://www.linkedin.com/in/wendy-nash

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The raw unedited YouTube transcription of this podcast:

wholeness welcome this is Josh depold of integratingpresence.com today I’ve got

Wendy Nash with me Wendy how’s it going yeah it’s yeah it’s Scott I just always like to do

two things okay the first one is to say thank you very much for having me on

your show and also is and also I like to recognize all the work that goes in it

so we are not just solitary little Islands often a little venture it didn’t

just happen in this moment you know you’ve got a program you’ve had previous programs we’ve been chatting a little

bit a couple of times and there’s a lot of thought but well what is going to

work for the community what the audience how are people going to understand this there’s a lot of prep work you know

we’ve both got equipment and uh there are there are a number of people that

kind of are in the background of this you know this isn’t my first interview it’s not your first and there are people

who have helped me set up my equipment there’s a lot of people in the back my partner who supports me and my business

so I just really like to acknowledge that um there’s a lot of stuff that goes on

in the back so that you know your audience can really have something that

they find of value so I really like to to appreciate I’m glad you pointed that

out it often goes Overlook overlooked this is the fun part right after this is

over then all the the extra work begins right so this is the really cool part

but yeah people don’t see the behind the scenes and all the stuff involved in it it’s uh it goes on and on and on

so the other thing just uh the other thing I like to do sorry to cut you off is I always like to um acknowledge that

I’m calling from original land so I’m in Queensland and there is a traditionally

in Aboriginal cultures to to acknowledge the country you’re you’re on

um and what that does is it it sets it to you can’t know who you you can’t know

who you are unless you know where you are and who came before you and the in

the people in Australia have been living here for 70 000 years so that’s 70 000

years that’s a long time and for some bizarre reason Australia like the US is

called the new world and I’m like really I think they need to take a bit of a look in the mirror there because here

it’s 70 000 and there’s just been all this crafting and thinking and looking

at how the land and the animals and the spirits all come together to to In This

Moment and so it’s not until you know where you’ve come from how it we got

here that we see where we are how we got here and where we’re going and how we

can get there and of course everything happens in this moment so whatever

arises is here and in this moment then we have the Heart In This Moment of

setting that tone but I think it’s really important to recognize that Elders have

crafted the world here in Australia and made it very livable for a long time

time so I always like to recognize that I’m on guppy guppy country it’s a beautiful practice and I remember

when I tuned into Bonte sujatos zooms and things he does the same thing and I

that might have been the first time I heard it no probably but how important that was and I just think you know with

all the different hardships and sufferings of the Native communities and peoples here in the states how lovely if

we would adopt the same practice here in the States because of all the this

atrocities and genocide and you know here in Missouri there used to be a huge population especially in St Louis they

they tore down a lot of the Mounds here um they’re still hokey amounts not too far away which the world heritage site

but then of course there’s the Trail of Tears where they’re pretty much all driven out of the state of Missouri and

to reservations more West so there is no that I know of any Indian reservations native people reservations here in the

state and I really don’t know the reasoning behind that but it it is a

lovely acknowledgment right and but I think that’s one definition of compassion too is acknowledgment

yeah um and uh there’s a compassion that’s a whole other topic

you know we I’m sure you and I could have a long conversation about compassion you know what is PC what is

idiot compassion what is enabling these are all versions of what they call near enemies of compassion you would know

this um and I like the term near enemy because they look so like compassion but

are they really you know the best definition um I ever heard about compassion is that

we are in it together you know and and I like that we are not coming from above

or below pity whatever we’re just in it together I’ve got a yes as long as long

as you’re not suffering in it together right you know not not overwhelmed yeah so it’s really important right yeah

because then there’s just more people that are in the crap you know what I mean so yeah but if you want to change

it well you’ve got this radio program this podcast series you can actually do

that I love that touch base with your you you touch base with the local community you might find that

um what is the best way to do it what’s the protocol uh it’s really important to make sure that you follow the correct

protocol for for that we have a lot of stuff here

um whether it’s First Nations or do you we don’t use the word for instance reservations anymore because that’s yeah

we use communities and sometimes people use tribes anyway but I always leave it up to the it’s it’s important to use the

language because that’s so you know we wanted to talk about listening and we when we think about

um less yeah uh language the words that we use are really pivotal to how well we

can listen so maybe that’s the place where we start that is yes before we do though just

give people a brief background like who are you and what do you do so we’re coming at this it’s not I guess that

important but I I feel it’s uh it’s a way to honor and respect you and to show

value and validation to to your work because I really appreciate it thank you well basically uh

uh I basically crashed and burned a lot of my life so um I had a lot of very difficult early

life circumstances both my sister and my father died when I was child of terminal illnesses ten years apart there’s a lot

of death I was bullied a lot there were other stuff going on my you know like you can imagine it’s pretty chaotic I

changed schools all the time so I failed at school I wasn’t good at sport I wasn’t good academically I didn’t feel

loved at home I guess um and I wasn’t popular so I sort of had no

Avenue to go down um but I was miserable and I was deeply

traumatized I have what I now see is complex PTSD and so it took a long time to work

through a lot of that stuff and I was trying lots of therapists and finally I got to therapist number 19 and she

really got what is complex PTSD and the nature of the the pain that I was in and

she really understood it and she said you are so wound up like a clock you need to take up meditation she has very

strong exam practitioner and I did and I was also trying to understand myself

when I was doing a Psychotherapy training so I did that it was a four-year very immersive Psychotherapy

it was Theory and Theory but boy you kind of really it’s like

you know those encounter weekends that you get imagine that over two over four years is kind of like everything gets

broken in that point I also did a psychology degree and I did that on meditation loving kindness meditation

and pro-social behavior uh using social identity Theory

um so that’s kind of where I came from um I did I’ve been meditating for about 20 years I was really angry and hurt you

know PTSD one of the Manifest common manifestations for that is anger and

that’s exactly what I was like and I was crashing and burning all my relationships and I just didn’t know

what to do with this anger I thought I was completely Justified and it didn’t seem to be getting me

happier it didn’t seem to be getting anything better and I just I kind of was

at my wits and my ex-husband walked out we hadn’t been married for long but we had been together for about six years I

thought I had all my [ __ ] together and then well clearly I was absolutely

wrong about everything actually so I everything was up for grabs everything

was going to be evaluated I was kind of boring

for a long time there in my kind of self-absorbed kind of trying to understand it but my big curiosity was

narcissism how does narcissism what is narcissism we talk about ego and all that sort of stuff

but also how how so how the mind is and

but but when I was a kid I was walking along the street in in the suburb that I

lived in and there was a church and on the side and my family’s atheist and it

said Jesus loves everyone and I thought I am deeply unloved I never want anybody

to feel like I do Jesus is one person I’m one person I’m gonna find a way to

love everybody so that was kind of the Catalyst and I had all this rage and confusion and hurt and I didn’t

understand anything but I guess that one thing kind of was a Rudder somewhere

deep in the basement of my psyche that has really only come to fruition now

much later that I have understood the impact of that particular event on my

that Insight that I had in my life um and so I guess that’s my goal is to

find a way to love everybody and what to understand my own limitations and also to

understand what does it mean what does love mean what does like mean I want it to be liked

um because nobody seemed to like me and not even in my family particularly so I

was just I want to be liked and I want to be loved and it was sort of there that I I started you know I didn’t start

from um a great you know I guess you you

don’t do this work unless you’re completely desperate so I guess desperation is where I started this we

talked about maybe not using Dharma words but the ducador that’s where I came through too you know the suffering

at wits and Rock Bottom you know desperate give oh Beyond desperate and

it’s just which I can just look back and think that’s probably one of the greatest gifts I was ever given now you

know ironically it’s with the golden question what if the worst things that

ever happened to us were the greatest gift we’ve ever been given but but you know but you know the thing about that I

look at my family and you presumably have brothers and sisters as well one brother yeah other people in the family

but I’m always curious about well this was my journey but nobody else in my family is interested our lives have been

that different and so other people you know their lives might hit rock bottom but they’re not going to go down this

path and so I think it there’s actually something about our character and our disposition that makes us curious

to be to do that and I have a spiritual teacher and he says actually you kind of

have no choice in the matter so I think it’s an interesting it sort of raises the question about free will now we

didn’t want to go into that sort of conversation but I I do think it is really important to acknowledge that not

everybody is a willing party in change and not everybody actually I was talking

about it with my partner this morning you know in order to build a bridge for listening and understanding both sides

both Shores need that pylon at the either end in order to have the foundation to meet in the middle so you

can’t just build a bridge from one side and take full responsibility for the whole relationship the other party does

have to come forward to an extent and at least show willing honest honest willing

and then and then it can come forward but you can try and if somebody’s not

even able to acknowledge that they are and able

there may not be they may have willing but they may not be able so I think it’s really important to

recognize because I think you know I’ve spent times in my life where I’ve tried to really work on these communication

and getting a relationship good and healthy and all the rest and actually

it just became an exercise in my own torture to a great extent and it crashed

the other relationship the other person’s the relationships yeah and not in Intimate Relationships here but it

could it seems like it can go the other way they’re they’re they’re able but they’re not willing to right I learned

this the hard way was uh that I that just can’t talk about certain things around certain people at certain times

you know and no matter how much I want to uh they if they don’t want to hear me

or have anything to do with it well then it would just to our mutual uh detriment for me to keep on a certain thing right

so there’s certain people that we can only really share and talk about certain things with so much to pick up on here

too the um the the the uh well or I say if we do have any kind of

free will I would think it would be in how we view things and how we respond to things right because obviously we can’t

control everything that happens to us I mean that’s kind of silly um yeah and we learned that control is like what did I

read recently the control is just kind of like a you know uh realizing that it’s just kind of like a belief that

we’ve been we’ve been holding for so long and that really struck true to me because I have this policy or not policy

well maybe it’s a policy of like you know I don’t really need to believe or disbelieve anything if I take something

as information well then there’s not that emotional charge that comes with having to believe something or

disbelieve it right so if I take things as information well then uh what’s helpful is like more like light as a

feather and then it can easily be let go of or I can just pick up other feathers when I come with information I don’t

have to because when people’s uh beliefs are shattered they’ve invested so much emotion into those beliefs that it’s

hard to let goal of that belief a lot of times when faced with truth right

um I also yeah there’s enough there to pick up on yeah yeah I don’t know I think you know like I think you and me

we could have like a hundred thousand discussions and we would never run out like I think we’re both quite chatty

people and we like to play around with the ideas and all that sort of stuff so so I think we let’s stick to to

listening because that’s where we kind of let’s like let me wrap up the quick Loose Ends though the PTSD thing I just

want to say it fascinates me because it seems like a lot of the other stuff and techniques and ways of relating just

doesn’t really apply to folks with PTSD and so I’m really I haven’t gone on my

way to like study that specifically so that’s one thing that really fascinates me too and I can just tell your loving

kindness is amazing the the practice the depth of your practice it just seems uh

and maybe we could talk about that some other time but it just it shows so well and then I just want to mention Wendy’s

the name of her site it has to be mentioned by me at least kindly cut the

crap okay so this can be done on so many different levels but the one that resonated with me was approaching

someone who’s not authentic right and you don’t have to be a jerk about it right so kindly cut the crap right

that’s exactly right so it’s really about cutting away from the extraneous

so I thought a long time well not a long time you know you know a little bit of time about what would I call a business

and I am a very direct person but I have been brutally honest and brutal is the

right word and that is not kind and I had to learn kind of like I look at my partner and he’s such a lovely man and

I’m not that I that just didn’t come naturally to me I had to work it you know and I do what I learned just

because people are very interested in PTSD I was listening to a talk the other day about PTSD and actually the pandemic

and people are traumatized from so normally uh PTSD I just want to very

quickly put this in for your listeners please um PTSD the way this fellow talked about

it was the lack of capacity to forget so we have we remember and we talk a lot

about oh I wish I had a really good memory but we actually need to be able to forget and PTSD is not having a good

function of for forgetting and I thought that was very useful they talked about the way that they do there’s a special

kind of PTSD that’s Arisen from the pandemic because normally you would be able to resolve PTSD through laughter

and connection that’s actually how it trauma relinquishes but you couldn’t do that during the

pandemic because we were all like unable to have physical contact with anybody and many people just completely withdrew

so I thought that was a very I’ve been looking at PTSD for a long time and I thought that was a very refreshing way

of looking at PTSD um my own my own I’ll just put this for people who

who have this work I’ve done lots and lots of different work and the only thing that personally has worked really

well for me is something called EMDR so yes yes yeah so I won’t go into that

that’s this is not the time in the place but uh if people are listening and they want to find out what does work that’s

the one and also to see a psychologist and a psychotherapist and a good adjunct

is loving kindness meditation for oneself to learn that it is a slow it’s

a practice it’s slow it just it takes a lot of observation of One’s Own limitations and

capacities to and it just takes time it took me maybe 10 years to

to stop being so angry and actually I’ve been with my partner for two years and

last year I got really angry at him and I did the thing that I always did and he just went wow like I just silenced him

and that with the kind of language that my mother used with me in the kind of way and

um so um I just reenacted that and I was like wow that was well I was so way out of

line and I think you know the thing about relationships and and conversations is we think that there are

deal breakers in relationships there’s no two ways about it but going back to

the question of conversation actually you can say pretty much anything to

anyone as long as that is kind sincere

truthful unpolitic non-gamy not no trickiness

but you’ve got to be absolutely 100 percent

um from the heart I want to say and I mean I work with clients with their

meditation practice so I try and get people to to to start a meditation practice so

they feel resourced to in their own daily lives it takes about 18 months to get a daily

practice up and running but I was talking with somebody the other day and and somebody said oh you know your boss

had said oh you know you’re unhappy and she was like happy and so we just worked it and I just so this is what I do with

with clients and I say well how about you just say this silently to yourself you know I feel unhappy yes it’s true I

feel unhappy and she did that and then I said how do you feel and she said

I feel whole actually and

and I’m no longer kind of held back by the denial trying to flip out of that

dismiss that so there is something very important about remaining

sincere to oneself um in that so the conversation with another person is as much about the

conversation that we have with ourself absolutely you know because a lot of times we can’t really tell if we say

something out loud even if it’s a script it’s hard to tell if another person wrote it or not we just hear those words

right uh when we speak them but yeah that really resonated uh that yes that

that self-honesty is a form of self-love and a lot it surprises me how many

people aren’t honest with themselves right and when when it comes down to that like when I was trying to do these

I love yous to my own heart at first it was like well this is sappy this doesn’t feel right you know this is this is a

little too much and but that’s actually self-honesty right so that is actually a form of self-love too and I just want to

pick up about you know um I do similar things like or it’s great usually when

I’m kind of pressed for time and it comes right out of the blue and I’m not expecting certain situations then the

tendency is still there fairly decent to revert into past patterning that I had thought I had resolved or integrated

right and I are at least changed but then I find myself going like that sometimes it’s a little extreme

um I won’t go into examples right now but some of the circumstances are kind of

extreme so I have to well maybe for me maybe not for some people but I guess but uh it’s to give myself some slack

there too and forgive myself and start again totally and I think there is some Navy

phrase or something and it says you in time when times are difficult you go you

don’t fall back to the level of your training you fall back to the level of your practice or something like that I

can’t remember the term somebody can look it up but um and I think that’s why we practice

that’s why it’s not a one you don’t read it and then it’s done you read it and

then you have to sit there going so how am I going to apply that when someone’s been really horrible so I had a

situation and talking about listening so we my partner and I moved up about two

months ago from one state to another and we hired the van and the van it

turns out was pretty Dodge and it’s there’s been quite a lot of floods I

don’t know if you’re aware there’s been a lot of flooding in in this area and the roads were full of potholes and

we actually have quite good quality roads um but it was like

and uh the wheel I don’t know what they call it the barrel I don’t know some

wheel thing I don’t know whatever it was it kind of broke snapped off so one

wheel was going straight ahead and the other wheel was going to the side so that’s you know apparently the mechanics

were like you’re lucky to be alive so there you go my partner was driving unfortunately at the time and he was

very skillful um so we were stuck in this town didn’t

know anyone it was a Saturday of course we bit shocked by that and the mechanic

you know nothing was going to happen with the van until Monday and then we got to the van on Monday and the part

came in and she said ah it’ll be Thursday you’ll get it in the end we got it on Wednesday so we’re going okay well

what are we going to do for a couple of days you know we’ve got nowhere to go we haven’t got anything we haven’t got a we

can’t go sightseeing we can’t do anything we’ve just seen this two foot town you know but it was the week before the election

and and in Australia voting is compulsory and many Americans really Arc

up at that but I just want to put a vote for a compulsory uh voting because if

when everybody has to vote you don’t have to try and encourage people to vote so that’s already done and it’s a legal

requirement for the government to ensure that everybody votes so you don’t have these Shenanigans to the same extent in

the way that you do in the US so I just put a vote there for mandatory voting

um so and everybody has an opinion about the government and they have to unless they’re not a

um not eligible to vote and then they dip out but um I had I sort of came to this place of

asking questions and um and I said who do you think we’ll get in

this weekend because we vote on Saturdays who do you if you had a magic wand and your

favorite party could get in or your favorite person who would it be do you believe in climate change do you

believe it’s real and what is the main issue with climate

change now they’re quite divisive questions and I I just came with it and

I just said look there’s all these polls and stuff I really I don’t I’ve done

I’ve had to do some telemarketing and find out what the polls are so I know how dodged they are so I just want to

hear from people what do you think and what is important to you and I want to understand more and I became very

curious now I’m I’m trained to ask questions and hear uncomfortable things

so I know how to not get wrapped up in the answer and to just let things slide

but I heard racist comments I heard people deny climate change I heard

people be very derisive about others I heard people

speak against my own political persuasion

in very derogatory ways I heard people

talk about people in very unpleasant ways this is very but I you know the way that

the I’ve so one of the best questions to ask for an open question is tell me more

about that so I was just like oh so tell me more about that and then

um the next one is what I hear you care about is so that’s a really good question this is

how to ask open questions what I hear you care about is that well I only learned that question last year and that

that helps you listen not for the feeling but for what is the what is their

Central uh yearning here actually that they have care they care about something even

Putin would care it’s good so so what do they care about and then you go oh

what’s your sense of things how do you feel about that what are your thoughts about that

so they’re the questions to ask and the questions to not ask are ones that begin with why why do you think that’s true

why did you do that why did you you know so so don’t ever

start a question with why huh and don’t start a question with do you think or

would you say because they are closed questions that are loaded and it’s not about ma it’s not about the the

it’s the question as a gender yeah yeah exactly it’s a leading question

and the other one is so not don’t start with do and the other one is don’t start with is or ah and because they are also

closed questions and they are also about and there’s something also what they call shifting and supporting language

the difference so shifting language is where you say I went on a treat

yesterday and I went and I said oh well I’ve been on a trip with him too and you

know we did this one you know and it was really amazing and we talked about there so we talked about that and then we went

over here and I went over there and I’ve done Retreats over here and I’ve done Retreats over there so that’s shifting language because you’ve started you’ve

broached a conversation and then all of a sudden it’s all about me what do you think about me that’s enough about me

what do you think about me you know so uh but supporting languages to go well

you’re on Retreat so tell me more about that so that’s that so that’s that I

think what I understood about listening for a long time was how much the

question syntax was essential and if you just follow those rules you

can have a very very open conversation very very open conversation which

stops this kind of divisive thing happening so what was really interesting about uh

listening asking I asked about 20 people my partner was a bit like oh God you’re

again but it was quite a good conversation topic for the two of us about what could we learn

and um what was clear is that it didn’t matter where they were far right or far left or

Centrist or wherever they sat on the political Spectrum whatever racist language they used

what they were really interested in was that Society was good for everybody

so they use terms about uh First Nations people here but there’s no way that those people

would like First Nations people to live in poverty but they just

they blamed the people for their situation that is that is what we do you know we blame people for their troubles

um it’s a kind of a way that we separate from our culpability there is a sense of

shame that we feel that we live well and others don’t and we separate from our

own emotions and so we need to instead of just being pejorative about those people over there

those racist people over there we need to what I have found works for me is to own the emotion that I’m

seeking to separate from to deny from my reality

uh my sense of Shame and guilt about why do I live well and other people live in

poverty with abuse alcohol drugs all that

and once I’ve done that then I start to have a much more whole and round experience of then the

conversation doesn’t become about Us and Them it remains I am connected to

my own feelings and when I’m connected to my own feelings and I I listen to my own feelings and you know I remember in

therapy just going I’m a [ __ ] [ __ ] and just having to own that and

understand how horrible I I was

you can do it in any way but to really own actually the one common denominator

in all our relationships Is Us yes wow there were so many points here we

need to pick up okay so I just wrap up there I mean not wrap up but yeah sure

so I think I think I remember just what you were saying that’s right and we’re um we’ll

probably wrap this up pretty fairly soon here too but what were you saying I cut you off sorry that’s okay so I just want

to say the main thing is to be curious to come with a place of curiosity in your own internal what is going on here

what am I not seeing about this what’s the underlying emotion here within my own world

and what are the underlying emotion in all these thoughts and then you know I

feel I hurt it hurt yes it’s true I feel hurt and then once we own that then we yeah

so that’s that’s that’s all I want to say so Wendy threw out some uh I guess I could take them as provocative points

here um okay there’s a lot to respond to but I don’t think we have enough time

um but I will address some of them I want to say though that they’re just being able to go up and ask just talk

with anyone I found that so helpful because I’ve run in so many different circles I mean I’ve hung around Street

people people with uh you know considerable amount of challenges and on

the other end of the spectrum people who have run billion dollar businesses I

mean they’ve done a billion dollars in Loan By the time one of them was an electoral college vote you know owned

law firms and side companies and all this stuff so every and then everywhere in between we really get kind of a Full

Spectrum Human the one thing that’s why that’s a really good point I would say though I don’t want to give that up for

self-inquiry and self-investigation into the mystery I don’t think I want to get hung up on it completely though with

that either because there’s a lot of time can be wasted in doing that I I

mean I know we’ve only got three minutes till we get cut out but I’m just going to say why I say why why I’m going to

give me my reasoning for that why why are you sitting in that chair

oh I love this yeah like a five-year-old and you can just keep saying why and why and why to everything exactly it’s

because okay so there was a TED Talk and it and there are two things in there there were two talks that I thought were

completely brilliant one of them I can’t remember what it was hang on but it boils down to love usually that’s the

last question or that’s the last answer maybe maybe but with why

um actually you can never get to the bottom so so the question then is how

and what that’s what you ask instead what were the steps how did that arise

where did that come from those three questions are good but the

why question you can skip that one because you know while you know there was the Big Bang and then this and that

and there was something else you said that I wanted to address but I forgot and we’ve only got two minutes oh you

you well like you maybe you can I just wonder uh the racist thing what I’ve noticed I’ve noticed racist comments too

but I’ve also seen those same people who’ve made racist comments when they they’re in the presence of that race

they are not racist anymore like at least my perception like they get along they talk fine I mean there might be you

know underlying but they they seem to get along maybe it’s just me there being there with them or something I don’t

know but it’s interesting uh that and then as far as my view of politics maybe

this is a cop-out and a bypass but for me it’s an emotional con game it’s um

most people get triggered out emotionally with any politics no matter where you’re at and sometimes it almost

seems like it’s designed that way to divide and conquer but um I totally

willing to be open to change that perspective uh none that I don’t want to write it all off with that but it to me

it does write off a lot of political things but travel I want to say is a great opportunity for doing this I do

this when I travel all the time it’s just talk to people you know I learned this from my mom really easily that

while she can talk to every she was a retired postmaster she could talk to just about anybody but she can also piss

off about just about anything too right it’s like she doesn’t have the skills that when he talked about so Wendy

thanks so much for doing this I’m going to give you the last word and please uh remind people again how they can find

you so

um most people remember that with name and there’s a contact box if you’re interested in learning about meditation

on the go you don’t have to sit down for 20 minutes or anything like that I’m a great believer in making meditation

available for anybody at any time it’s not nearly as complicated as it seems

very cool and may you all be blessed with the most ideal optimal blessings

for all time thanks Josh thanks Josh bye-bye