[9/16/2022 UPDATE: Learn more about the new monthly “Meditation Q & A” with Wendy and I on September 29th at 7pm Central]
On July 10th, I spoke with Wendy Nash, meditation coach and forthcoming Integrating Presence cohost of the monthly series “Meditation Q & A” mostly about her background, PTSD, love, honesty, wise speech and open questions
Wendy Nash has a 4-year somatic psychotherapy diploma, her Bachelor of Psychology Honors thesis studied the effects of loving-kindness meditation on prosocial behavior and she’s been practicing loving-kindness and other meditations for almost 20 years. These inform her work with clients who are interested in learning how to integrate various meditation practices in daily life.
These qualifications and experiences have been profoundly positive on her wellbeing and relationships, and turned around the negatives of difficult early life experiences.
These formal qualifications influence how I coach people with meditation:
– BPsych with an honors thesis studying the effect of lovingkindness meditation (LKM) on prosocial behavior based on Tajfel’s Social Identity Theory and Fredrickson’s research into LKM.
– 4-year diploma of somatic psychotherapy
– Currently studying a 2-year diploma of Mindfulness & Compassion meditation teacher training through the Insight Meditation Institute.
– 20 years of meditation practices in different traditions and countries, mostly focused on lovingkindness but also insight (vipassana) because kindness has shown to be the key to mindfulness’s efficacy and it’s this that leads to better relationships and wellbeing.
– Personal psychotherapy to understand myself and others more clearly.
– Strong engagement with understanding what narcissism is, when it causes problems, when it’s useful and how we can integrate the unhelpful bits, and why we all have an ego (even fully enlightened people have an ego!).
– Communication skills, especially how to listen deeply and pay heed to question syntax.
More specifically, some of what we address:
- Wendy’s acknowledgement of the often overlooked time and work involved in podcasting as well as honoring the elders where she lives
- near enemies of compassion
- we’re in it together is compassionate but not suffering along with
- community protocol
- involvement of word usage in listening
- [Post chat comment: It’s important to initially forego self-censorship in order to evaluate if self-censoring would be helpful, skillful, wise, and wholesome instead of (automatically) defaulting to conform to prescribed, established, in-group, collective, peer group, etc. ideologies and parameters]
- Wendy’s adolescence and background including complex PTSD, studying psychology, anger, tumultuous relationships, how reading a ‘Jesus loves everybody’ sign changed her life, wanting to know what love and like is and wanting that
- How desperation leads to spiritual practice for some but not others
- Not everybody is a willing party to change
- The necessity of being both willing and able in relationships
- futility of mentioning certain things to certain people
- control as a belief
- information instead of beliefs
- Tempering brutal honesty and more reasons for/behind the name of Wendy’s site kindlycutthecrap.com
- The lack of capacity to forget in/with PTSD
- resolving trauma with EMDR, loving-kindness meditation, laughter and connection
- Wise speech
- Wendy’s work with clients to establish a meditation practice
- Reverting to past patterning in challenging situations
- Wendy’s moving truck breaking down and the ensuing political Q & A sessions with locals
- How to ask open questions
- [Post chat comment: I wonder if open questioning was more adopted and widespread less conclusions would be arrived at which has its own pros and cons]
- Shifting and supporting language
- [Post chat comment: While yes it is kind of annoying to have someone jump in and say they’ve done something similar then talk about themselves I wonder how much of this is perceived as establishing connection, validation, resonance, belonging and how much is unhelpful ego? And again, when refraining from doing this how much — skillfully or unskillfully — is deliberately being self-censored and held back from being expressed and shared perhaps due to clinging to a belief about how rigidly one ought to adhere to such a guideline?]
- Open questions ending divisiveness
- Human commonality of wanting prosperity
- Shame, blame and separation
- Owning ones emotions to address the tendency to use pejoratives about racists
- Curiosity to discover underling emotions
- Me wanting to preserve the question “why” to explore the mysteries and Wendy’s elaborating on the practical benefits of not using “why” instead using “how” and “what”
- My noticing incongruence in some between racist speech and non-racist behavior
Wendy’s site Kindly Cut The Crap: