In this twenty-third installment of the ongoing live series with Wendy Nash inquiring into meditation practice on and off the cushion we explore awareness itself, particularly in light of just having audited a retreat on it.
Retreat Notes
Disclaimers:
- not too many specifics about the retreat
- may be able to listen to some of the retreat dhamma talks on dharmaseed.org later so can maybe audit a bit of my auditing
- this is my best current understanding and it may be distorted or inaccurate and it contains my biases
- retreat was a glad break to usual meditation practice
- did the audit version as a “silent retreat and/or as a compliment to daily life”
Insights:
- I’m still very enchanted by cognition
- There’s perhaps privilege in mediation (retreat) practice so allowing privilege because it is already there. Specifically, this means accepting the rare case of such time for deep practice has been allotted (and for me also taking too many liberties with open awareness practice like priming it for thinking about stuff). This is acknowledged yet not indulging in it to the extremes of “yes, I’m so great, this is so great” nor “oh I feel bad that so many others don’t have this chance and so many other things may be more important than this”
- I guess at least there’s more diversity in today’s self-imposed and/or societally pressured segregations? [This is kind of a response to different groups that would meet apart from everyone else at the retreat]
- Instead of being slowly caked into the sloppy mud hole of (my) challenges, I, or awareness, can be the one who sees and acknowledges that challenging mud hole. This isn’t a hypothetical philosophy but an energetic reality accessed by feeling into what it feels like to feel the one who sees and knows the mud hole instead only lost in the agony of just being in the mud
- Awareness without object is kind of impotent, like having lots of money without being able to spend it, yet also very freeing and empowering not wasting time and energy tracking or staying with objects yet knowing when picking up a (meditation) object it may now very well be better seen, known and handled
- Seeing depths of the inner narrative and how it informs views, compliance, support and/or rejection (of other views)
- Vast, high-level worldly awareness seeming reserved for intel communities who claim to be better equipped to handle what awareness might know and who might perhaps work to reserve or restrict awareness in addition to deciding what is allowed to be known by the public. What impact, direct or in direct, does this have on societies? Contrast this with “don’t know mind”
- Internal politics in retreats often not apparent
Types of practices (that occurred to me):
- (Making inroads to) relentlessly accessing constant organic awareness
- Harness the awareness associated with any/all phenomena for the longterm benefit and self and others
- Access (with intent) any and all possible and remembered/experienced phenomena, states and stations of consciousness in meditation past, present and future and hold this in awareness, interconnected, gathered into a manageable object and (somehow) integrate this into one’s current meditation (object)
- Bearing awareness in mind
- Contemplating awareness
- Investigating awareness: placing and holding attention on the intention to investigate awareness (without a need to have answers or cognize)
- Source of awareness?
- Contacting consciousness
- Light of awareness
- Continuous, rhythmic, soothing walking meditation with or without keeping an intent in mind
Questions:
- What is right effort for (whatever type of) awareness practice (is undertaken)?
- We humans receive so much “teaching” and conditioning, especially in the West, to trust sleep and oblivion. How do we learn to trust awaking/awakened awareness though?
- How is awareness (being) perceived?
- Any practices and/or instructions for investigating consciousness, specifically viññāṇa, the 6 sense consciousnesses, manas, and/or citta?
- What are the differences between viññāṇa, perception of boundless consciousness, the light of wisdom, complete absorption in these, or not, and that which knows any and all of these?
- Boundless space is formless and doesn’t contain objects so how is it different from boundless nothingness? Also, some say neither perception nor non-perception is a subtle, refined state of consciousness, but if framed this way, how is that not boundless consciousness?
- Just consciousness (Orthodox Theravada Burmese) or is there something more fundamental underneath awareness (Thai Forrest tradition). Not mentioned: Pa-auk Sayadaw multiple vipassana minds
- Are there more choices than just these two?
- Can this really be known while (any of the) six senses are online? And when they aren’t online, how does that work, and is that (then) relevant? Ought this type of question be put to today’s mediation masters?
- What is the difference (then) between the Nibbana element and this type of awareness behind or more fundamental than consciousness?
- Could maybe just as the conditions were ripe/fitting for the Buddha to arise in the world and there’s only four aggregates for formless beings, could both of these be the case for different (types of) beings in different locations due to different causes and conditions?
(Somewhat) Related:
‘It’s not a matter of how quickly we do our healing work, but how meaningful our healing journey becomes. This is the heart of awareness.’ –Matt Kahn
Note: This post was written beforehand then scheduled to auto-publish during the The Nature of Awareness Hybrid Retreat [or Coming Home to Kind Awareness] at IMS with Guy Armstrong, Sally Armstrong, Jaya Rudgard, Yuka Nakamura & Kristina Baré — Tuesday, July 16, 2024 – Thursday, July 25, 2024.
*There’s naturally an ongoing open call for meditation (related) questions for the (roughly) monthly “Meditation Q & A” either by the various social media means listed; integratingpresence[at]protonmail.com or just showing to type/ask live.*

Background
Regular, current and past visitors to Integrating Presence may recall the monthly series “Ask Us Anything” I did with Denny K Miu from August 2020 until January 2022 — partially including and continuing on with Lydia Grace as co-host for awhile until March 2022.
For a few months thereafter I did various Insight Timer live events exploring potential new directions and/or a continuation of the Ask Us Anything format while weaving in other related teachings to these events.
Then, after chats with meditation coach Wendy Nash, it became clear to start a new collaboration similar to “Ask Us Anything” simply and clearly called “Meditation Q & A” especially due to the original intent of the Ask Us Anything’s being “discussions about meditation and related topics.”

Audio: Awareness Itself | July 25/26, 2024 “Meditation Q & A With Wendy Nash” #23
Past chats with Wendy:

Continue reading “Awareness Itself | July 25/26, 2024 “Meditation Q & A With Wendy Nash” #23”


