In this forty-fifth installment of the ongoing live series with Wendy Nash, we continue our inquiry into meditation practice both on and off the cushion following up this time with a comment Wendy made last month about having memorized and worked with “The 37 Practices of a Bodhisattva” (Gyelse Tokmey Zangpo, 14th century), a classic Tibetan Buddhist text that outlines the mindsets, behaviors, and spiritual training required to cultivate compassion and altruism. So we planned to look at least some of these in the light of formal and daily life practice.
Ai summarizes our talk thus:
- Personal Context & Personal Experiences: Wendy shares her history of reciting the 37 practices daily while dealing with a stressful job, separation, and difficult interactions in England. Josh describes his current setting house-sitting in Illinois and recounts a recent cafe encounter where applying loving-kindness helped shift a tense atmosphere.
- Interpreting the 37 Practices: The hosts explore the tone of the verses—debating whether they read as absurdly difficult, tongue-in-cheek, or radical inversions of normal human behavior. Verses highlighted include:
- Giving away possessions or taking on an attacker’s negative karma without thought of retaliation.
- Regarding someone who exposes hidden faults or acts like an enemy as a spiritual friend or child.
- Taming one’s own mind with loving-kindness rather than trying to conquer external enemies.
- Practicing generosity without expectation of karmic reward.
- Mindfulness, Ego, and Relationships: They reflect on how the practices highlight human ego, self-righteousness, and the tendency to identify with insights. They discuss the challenges of managing physical sensations/emotions (vedana) and how intimate relationships and daily life serve as the true training ground for self-awareness.
- Conclusion: The hosts conclude that while taking the Bodhisattva path literally feels like a massive, “Sisyfean” task, its core power lies in prompting an internal shift in perception and self-honesty.
Below is a breakdown of the 37 practices via ai conjuring, grouped by their core themes:
Foundational Conditions (Practices 1–9)
- Appreciate human birth: Utilize the precious opportunity of this life to study and practice the Dharma.
- Abandon attachment and aversion: Leave environments that trigger negative emotional reactions or unhealthy attachments.
- Seek solitude: Retreat from distractions to allow inner clarity and spiritual progress to grow.
- Impermanence: Realize that money, body, and loved ones will all pass away; let go of mundane fixations.
- Avoid bad company: Distance yourself from influences that increase negative emotions and diminish virtues.
- Rely on spiritual teachers: Seek guidance from qualified teachers whose qualities inspire peace and discipline.
- Take refuge: Put your trust in the Three Jewels (Buddha, Dharma, Sangha) for genuine protection.
- Avoid harmful actions: Refrain from unwholesome actions to avoid future suffering.
- Seek permanent freedom: Recognize that worldly pleasure is fleeting, and aim for ultimate liberation.
Intention & The Altruistic Mind (Practices 10–11)
- Generate Bodhicitta: Direct all spiritual effort toward liberating every sentient being from suffering.
- Exchange self for others: Understand that suffering comes from self-cherishing, while happiness comes from cherishing others
Transforming Adversity into the Path (Practices 12–21)
- When robbed: Offer your body, wealth, and merit to the person who stole from you.
- When attacked: Take upon yourself the harm and negative karma of the attacker.
- When insulted: Speak of the other person’s virtues in return.
- When exposed or criticized: Respect the critic as a spiritual teacher.
- When betrayed: Treat a ungrateful person like a loving parent treats a child.
- When humiliated: Bow down to the aggressor with respect.
- When destitute or ill: Accept suffering joyfully as a tool to burn off negative karma.
- When wealthy or famous: Remain humble and recognize that material success is temporary.
- When angry: Tame your own mind rather than trying to conquer external enemies.
- When overcome by desire: Let go of addictive objects immediately, as if drinking salt water.
The Six Paramitas / Perfections (Practices 22–30)
- Generosity: Give without expecting anything in return.
- Ethical conduct: Maintain morality, as you cannot help others if you cannot discipline yourself.
- Patience: Treat hostile people as valuable teachers of patience.
- Enthusiastic effort: Apply diligence to spiritual training as if your hair were on fire.
- Concentration: Cultivate deep meditation (samadhi) to calm the mind.
- Wisdom: Realize emptiness—that all phenomena lack inherent, independent existence.
- Examine your own flaws: Continually reflect on your own mistakes rather than judging others.
- Avoid harsh words: Speak gently, as harsh language disturbs others and damages virtue.
- Mindfulness: Keep constant watch over the state of your mind and actions.
Wisdom & Final Integration (Practices 31–37)
- Self-reflection: Continuously examine your faults to eliminate them.
- Avoid pointing out faults: Never speak ill of another practitioner’s mistakes.
- Abandon attachment to offerings: Avoid competing for wealth, status, or praise.
- Avoid harsh speech: Refrain from words that cause distress to others.
- Apply remedies immediately: Eradicate disturbing emotions the moment they arise.
- Maintain continuous mindfulness: Always ask: “What is the state of my mind right now?”
- Dedicate merit: Direct all positive energy gained from these practices toward the enlightenment of all beings.
The Thirty-Seven Practices of All the Bodhisattvas
by Gyalse Tokme Zangpo via https://www.lotsawahouse.org/tibetan-masters/gyalse-thogme-zangpo/37-practices-all-bodhisattvas
Namo Lokeśvarāya!
You see that all things are beyond coming and going,
Yet still you strive solely for the sake of living beings—
To you, my precious guru inseparable from Lord Avalokita,
I offer perpetual homage, respectfully, with body, speech and mind.
The perfect buddhas, who are the source of all benefit and joy,
Come into being through accomplishing the sacred Dharma.
And since this in turn depends on knowing how to practise,
I shall now describe the practices of all the buddhas’ heirs.
1. The practice of all the bodhisattvas is to study, reflect and meditate,
Tirelessly, both day and night, without ever straying into idleness,
In order to free oneself and others from this ocean of saṃsāra,
Having gained this supreme vessel—a free, well-favoured human life, so difficult to find.
2. The practice of all the bodhisattvas is to leave behind one’s homeland,
Where our attachment to family and friends overwhelms us like a torrent,
While our aversion towards enemies rages inside us like a blazing fire,
And delusion’s darkness obscures what must be adopted and abandoned.
3. The practice of all the bodhisattvas is to take to solitary places,
Avoiding the unwholesome, so that destructive emotions gradually fade away,
And, in the absence of distraction, virtuous practice naturally gains strength;
Whilst, with awareness clearly focused, we gain conviction in the teachings.
4. The practice of all the bodhisattvas is to renounce this life’s concerns,
For friends and relatives, long acquainted, must all go their separate ways;
Wealth and prized possessions, painstakingly acquired, must all be left behind;
And consciousness, the guest who lodges in the body, must in time depart.
5. The practice of all the bodhisattvas is to avoid destructive friends,
In whose company the three poisons of the mind grow stronger,
And we engage less and less in study, reflection and meditation,
So that love and compassion fade away until they are no more.
6. The practice of all the bodhisattvas is to cherish spiritual friends,
By regarding them as even more precious than one’s own body,
Since they are the ones who will help to rid us of all our faults,
And make our virtues grow ever greater just like the waxing moon.
7. The practice of all the bodhisattvas is to take refuge in the Three Jewels,
Since they will never fail to provide protection for all who call upon them,
For whom are the ordinary gods of this world ever capable of helping,
As long as they themselves are trapped within saṃsāra’s vicious cycle?
8. The practice of all the bodhisattvas is never to commit a harmful act,
Even though not to do so might put one’s very life at risk,
For the Sage himself has taught how negative actions will ripen
Into the manifold miseries of the lower realms, so difficult to endure.
9. The practice of all the bodhisattvas is to strive towards the goal,
Which is the supreme state of changeless, everlasting liberation,
Since all the happiness of the three realms lasts but a moment,
And then is quickly gone, just like dewdrops on blades of grass.
10. The practice of all the bodhisattvas is to arouse bodhicitta,
So as to bring freedom to all sentient beings, infinite in number.
For how can true happiness ever be found while our mothers,
Who have cared for us throughout the ages, endure such pain?
11. The practice of all the bodhisattvas is to make a genuine exchange
Of one’s own happiness and well-being for all the sufferings of others.
Since all misery comes from seeking happiness for oneself alone,
Whilst perfect buddhahood is born from the wish for others’ good.
12. Even if others, in the grips of great desire, should steal,
Or encourage others to take away, all the wealth that I possess,
To dedicate to them entirely my body, possessions and all my merits
From the past, present and future— this is the practice of all the bodhisattvas.
13. Even if others should seek to cut off my head,
Though I’ve done them not the slightest wrong,
To take upon myself, out of compassion,
All the harms they have amassed—this is the practice of all the bodhisattvas.
14. Even if others should declare before the world
All manner of unpleasant things about me,
To speak only of their qualities in return,
With a mind that’s filled with love—this is the practice of all the bodhisattvas.
15. Even if others should expose my hidden faults or deride me
When speaking amidst great gatherings of many people,
To conceive of them as spiritual friends and to bow
Before them in respect—this is the practice of all the bodhisattvas.
16. Even if others whom I have cared for like children of my own
Should turn upon me and treat me as an enemy,
To regard them only with special fondness and affection,
As a mother would her ailing child—this is the practice of all the bodhisattvas.
17. Even if others, equal or inferior to me in status,
Should, out of arrogance, disparage me,
To honour them, as I would my teacher,
By bowing down my head before them—this is the practice of all the bodhisattvas.
18. Even though I may be destitute and despised by all,
Beset with terrible illness and plagued by evil spirits,
Still to take upon myself all beings’ ills and harmful actions,
Without ever losing heart—this is the practice of all the bodhisattvas.
19. Even though I may be famous and revered by all,
And as rich as Vaiśravaṇa, the god of wealth himself,
To see the futility of all the glory and riches of this world
And to remain without conceit—this is the practice of all the bodhisattvas.
20. The practice of all the bodhisattvas is to subdue the mind
With the forces of loving kindness and compassion.
For unless the real adversary—my own anger—is defeated,
Outer enemies, though I may conquer them, will continue to appear.
21. The practice of all the bodhisattvas is to turn away immediately
From those things which bring desire and attachment.
For the pleasures of the senses are just like salty water:
The more we taste of them, the more our thirst increases.
22. The practice of all the bodhisattvas is never to entertain concepts,
Which revolve around dualistic notions of perceiver and perceived,
In the knowledge that all these appearances are but the mind itself,
Whilst mind’s own nature is forever beyond the limitations of ideas.
23. The practice of all the bodhisattvas is to let go of grasping
When encountering things one finds pleasant or attractive,
Considering them to be like rainbows in the summer skies—
Beautiful in appearance, yet in truth devoid of any substance.
24. The practice of all the bodhisattvas is to recognize delusion
Whenever one is confronted by adversity or misfortune.
For these sufferings are just like the death of a child in a dream,
And it’s so exhausting to cling to delusory perceptions as real.
25. The practice of all the bodhisattvas is to give out of generosity,
With no hopes of karmic recompense or expectation of reward.
For if those who seek awakening must give even their own bodies,
What need is there to mention mere outer objects and possessions?
26. The practice of all the bodhisattvas is to observe ethical restraint,
Without the slightest intention of continuing in saṃsāric existence.
For lacking discipline one will never secure even one’s own well-being,
And so any thought of bringing benefit to others would be absurd.
27. The practice of all the bodhisattvas is to cultivate patience,
Free from any trace of animosity towards anyone at all,
Since any potential source of harm is like a priceless treasure
To the bodhisattva who is eager to enjoy a wealth of virtue.
28. The practice of all the bodhisattvas is to strive with enthusiastic diligence—
The source of all good qualities—when working for the sake of all who live;
Seeing that even śrāvakas and pratyekabuddhas, who labour for themselves alone,
Exert themselves as if urgently trying to extinguish fires upon their heads.
29. The practice of all the bodhisattvas is to cultivate concentration,
Which utterly transcends the four formless absorptions,
In the knowledge that mental afflictions are overcome entirely
Through penetrating insight suffused with stable calm.
30. The practice of all the bodhisattvas is to cultivate wisdom,
Beyond the three conceptual spheres, alongside skilful means,
Since it is not possible to attain the perfect level of awakening
Through the other five pāramitās alone, in wisdom’s absence.
31. The practice of all the bodhisattvas is to scrutinize oneself
Continually and to rid oneself of faults whenever they appear.
For unless one checks carefully to find one’s own confusion,
One might appear to be practising Dharma, but act against it.
32. The practice of all the bodhisattvas is never to speak ill
Of others who have embarked upon the greater vehicle,
For if, under the influence of destructive emotions,
I speak of other bodhisattvas’ failings, it is I who am at fault.
33. The practice of all the bodhisattvas is to let go of attachment
To the households of benefactors and of family and friends,
Since one’s study, reflection and meditation will all diminish
When one quarrels and competes for honours and rewards.
34. The practice of all the bodhisattvas is to avoid harsh words,
Which others might find unpleasant or distasteful,
Since abusive language upsets the minds of others,
And thereby undermines a bodhisattva’s conduct.
35. The practice of all the bodhisattvas is to slay attachment
And the rest—mind’s afflictions—at once, the very moment they arise,
Taking as weapons the remedies held with mindfulness and vigilance.
For once the kleshas have become familiar, they’ll be harder to avert.
36. In short, no matter what one might be doing,
By examining always the status of one’s mind,
With continuous mindfulness and alertness,
To bring about the good of others—this is the practice of all the bodhisattvas.
37. The practice of all the bodhisattvas is to dedicate towards enlightenment
All the virtue to be gained through making effort in these ways,
With wisdom that is purified entirely of the three conceptual spheres,
So as to dispel the sufferings of the infinity of beings.
Here I have set down for those who wish to follow the bodhisattva path,
Thirty-seven practices to be adopted by all the buddhas’ heirs,
Based on what is taught in the sūtras, tantras and treatises,
And following the instructions of the great masters of the past.
Since my intellect is only feeble and I have studied but a little,
This is not a composition likely to delight the connoisseurs,
Yet since I’ve relied upon the sūtras and what the saints have taught
I feel these are indeed the genuine trainings of the buddhas’ heirs.
Still, the tremendous waves of activity of the bodhisattvas
Are difficult for simple-minded folk like me to comprehend,
And I must therefore beg the indulgence of all the perfect saints
For any contradictions, irrelevancies or other flaws this may contain.
Through whatever merit has here been gained, may all beings
Generate sublime bodhicitta, both relative and absolute,
And through this, come to equal Lord Avalokiteśvara,
Transcending the extremes of existence and quiescence.
This was composed in Jewel Cave (Rinchen Puk) in Ngulchu by the monk Tokme, a teacher of scripture and reasoning, for his own and others’ benefit.
| Translated by Adam Pearcey, 2006
Version: 1.6–20250303
*There’s naturally an ongoing open call for meditation (related) questions for the (roughly) monthly “Meditation Q & A” either by the various social media means listed; integratingpresence[at]protonmail.com or just showing to type/ask live.*
Background
Regular, current and past visitors to Integrating Presence may recall the monthly series “Ask Us Anything” I did with Denny K Miu from August 2020 until January 2022 — partially including and continuing on with Lydia Grace as co-host for awhile until March 2022.
For a few months thereafter I did various Insight Timer live events exploring potential new directions and/or a continuation of the Ask Us Anything format while weaving in other related teachings to these events.
Then, after chats with meditation coach Wendy Nash, it became clear to start a new collaboration similar to “Ask Us Anything” simply and clearly called “Meditation Q & A” especially due to the original intent of the Ask Us Anything’s being “discussions about meditation and related topics.”
Audio: 37 Practices Of A Bodhisattva | “Meditation Q & A With Wendy Nash” #45
Past chats with Wendy:
Unedited transcript via YouTube:
Full Raw Verbatim Transcript (with timestamps removed via ai and whatever else it did to it:
Hello and welcome everyone. Uh besides this technical challenges, Wendy, how are you? How’s it going?
Well, I had my birthday this week.
Oh, happy late birthday. I don’t know why I missed it. I should should have had this down, but anyway, who who cares?
Better late than never. Okay, so my friend I said, “No presents. No presents. No presents.” cuz I always I’m I hate I hate it when people give me presents because I they give like people give me what they think they should get me rather than what I actually want and you have to know me really well to know me what I want and my partners never get it right like they just never get it right and they’re supposed to be paying attention and they’re rubbish at it. So I just go no presence let’s just not do it. Nonetheless, she did it and it was actually very sweet and she scrimps and saves and she has like she really has a lot of expenses. So for her to send a boat like a box of a box of with a plant and a balloon that would have been a massive massive kind of financial burden for her. Very very sweet. Very sweet.
A that’s cool.
Yeah. So I’m here on Gabby Gabby Country in Queensland. And Josh, you’re in a cafe.
Yeah. You know, I’m I am um housesitting for friends in Eastern Illinois while they go to Death Valley in in uh in the States with their kids. And so there’s no internet out there in my phone plan. It works out there, but barely. So I thought, you know, better better come here and uh do this. And so it it’s kind of fitting for this. usually don’t get into bodhicit sappa practices because I don’t you know I’m not on this path but that’s it’s all about out uh being out and helping people right and saving all beings everywhere. Um so a little little tongue and it but you know kind of um so Wendy why don’t you um you mentioned these 37 practices of abod sappa last time and I I was just looking now and AI messed it up pretty much you know it it it watered it down and and duplicated a lot of stuff. So I put the the regular text in the post too. So what do you want to say about this? Where do you want to start?
So I like the 37 practices of body sata because I a few years ago I was having a miserable time in a job. I was miserable where I was living. I had recently separated. I and the people were just awful at work. Like they were just really awful. And so I actually took to this practice of reciting the 37 practices every morning when I meditated and just to myself and just and I you know I memorized it all. And it was really good cuz when it said like it’s actually very very funny. So the verses are very very funny. So let me just see if I can bring up the verses. And while you’re looking at one, let me um the what I have up here is under the guise of thing transforming adversity into path. When robbed, offer your body, wealth, and merit to the person who stole from you. You know. Yeah. It’s so it’s like okay. Wow. I I’m not there. I I couldn’t imagine doing that when attacked, take upon yourself the harm and negative karma of the attacker, you know. So, it’s kind of tongue and cheek
So, um and it says here, even if someone driven by great desire were to seize all my wealth or encourage another to do so, to dedicate them to my body possessions and all my virtue of the three times without any thought of retaliation, it’s the practice of a body sata. And uh even if someone were to cut off my head even when I have done nothing wrong through the power of compassion to take on all their negative actions upon myself it’s the practice of a body sata. Even if someone were to proclaim throughout a billion worlds all my faults and speak harshly harshly of me with a mind filled with loving kindness and bow to them with respect is the practice of all body satas. So um if even if someone who I have cared for like a child were to regard me as an enemy to regard that person with special affection like a mother towards her child it’s the practice of a body sata. So it’s this kind of um it’s it’s kind of a joke because it’s so impossible to do that. Like yes that’s the aim but you know like no one’s going to get there. So, I I like how you you have this um the tone that’s kind of a very English tone, but what what I looked at these is this like okay um yeah, this is possible, but it how probable is it? But like what this really points to if we’re going to be more realistic about it is to to to flip things on their head, you know, like there’s um habitual response we have to things, right? and it just turns everything on its head. So like it it shows us another option. So I I see how you kind of have like an Oscar Wild or Shakespearean approach to to saying this, but I wonder what if we were to take it more seriously and you know um just just flip things around basically. Uh to me this is like training for a saint. If you’re taking this seriously and you’re actually if you’re in these things and you have the same kind of sentiment as what some of these things are laying out, that’s that’s a saint to me, you know.
So, it says here, “Some of the verses have deliberate word play and rhetorical twist, but they are not generally puns in the modern English sense. The Tibetan is particularly good at this because a short phrase can carry several meanings at once. For example, friends, verse two, friends and enemy. The opening uses two very physical images. Towards friends, attachment churns like water. Toward enemies, hatred burns like fire. The contrast is deliberate. Water and fire are not just poetic decoration. They represent two fundamental reactions that keep us caught in samsara grasping an aversion. Um, so it’s I I mean I’ve always read this as slightly kind of not a pun, but just like ludicrously hard. And to expect that you’ll be able to do that is kind of like, yeah, like that’s the aspiration, but good luck with that one. So if if one if one does not examine one’s own confusion, they may act contrary to the dharma while appearing to practice the dharma. So there’s there there is um I I think it’s um they have said it’s not a pun but they have said um that it is like it is very good in the Tibetan. So I see let me I’ll read another one here. Even if others should expose my hidden faults or deride me when speaking am amidst great gatherings of many people to conceive them as spiritual friends and to bow before them in respect. This is the practice of a bodhic sappva. So it all ends with the this is the practice of bodhic sappa. So, Wendy, I I guess I’m trying to understand why did you take this on? For your own amusement or like um you know, uh tell me again why you why you took this on or why you read read this and uh read these and then um did you ever take any of it serious or is it just for a good laugh or what?
Oh, no. I always took it seriously, but I was having such a bad time that I just thought like I needed to do it. I’m just posting them here in the chat. It’s a private chat for you. Um Okay. Uh so this is the translation in in chat GPT. So Okay. Um uh so I you can put them in the the regular chat and we can show them on screen too if you’d like.
Okay.
Or I can do that. Yeah, you you can do that. Well, how about All right. So Sure. Okay. Okay. See? So, we’re not really live or why are we live these days?
Just just YouTube. Just YouTube on my channel. Just Okay. Yeah. You No, no, YouTube. Sorry, I shouldn’t say that. Yeah. Okay. Because now I have to edit that out for the um for the other version, but anyway. Yeah. So, we’re live. Yeah. Okay. So, the first one the first one’s on screen. Now that you have obtained this great vessel difficult to find which is being born human, free and endowed with every favorable condition to study, reflect and meditate day and night without interruption in order to liberate yourself and others from this ocean of samsara. This is the practice of a body sattva and it just says don’t make a mess of it. The next one is towards friends and relatives attachment churns like water. uh toward enemies. Hatred burns like fire amid darkness that forgets what should be adopted and abandoned. To abandon this life is the practice of of all body suffers. By harm by avoiding harmful places, disturbing emotions gradually diminish. In the absence of distraction, virtuous practice naturally increases with awareness becoming clearer. Confidence in the dharma arises to rely upon solitude is the practice of all the body sattas. So basically I looked at my time um as uh I can’t remember where you got up to there. So that’s four. Yeah. Um so I was sort of very lonely and I just thought well I’m going to do this. I’m going to treat it as if I’m on retreat and I I used to recite them and it just meant that it was it was very helpful when I wanted to lash out to just go no don’t do that.
I see.
And um so there was you know when I was really in a bad space but that said I came I came back home and I felt myself very frozen because I think I’d had so many of these awful experiences in in England. I just found them so like I found the the Brits just the English not all of them but so many of them are so cold and so indifferent to another person’s pain like really I think you know not understanding that I was a foreigner and and really a harsh judgment like they’re awful people so they can be you know extremely judgmental so this is the stiff upper lip mentality right Yeah. Uh I don’t know what it is. Yeah. It’s like just talk about the weather. It’s like you don’t have no warmth, you know? Like I don’t know what it is, you know? Um and I think that’s why so many Brits kind of come to Australia and then they just feel so much happier.
You know, I I’m very grateful that I um that that I didn’t experience too much. There’s a um I would say there’s just about as many fake people in England as there is America, you know. Uh but yeah, it’s it’s kind of a different uh fakeness or attitude, but there’s but I met plenty of sincere, you know, honest, straightforward. Well, there’s less straightforwardness, but that’s everywhere, too. You know what I mean? Um so I I’m just grateful that then again, you are in the university system. You were at Oxford and that’s a big deal. That’s like, you know, they’re mess they’re not messing around at Oxford. That’s serious stuff, you know.
But, you know, I had I had another job before I was at Oxford and they were equally awful. I mean, and I think I was probably not at my best. I was I had just arrived. I um was very unsettled. And they don’t they because they like Australians. Oh, Australians live abroad, you know, and like but Americans I think they don’t if you don’t travel like I find here in Kabula where I am that because people don’t travel they don’t understand what it’s like to be a foreigner. Yeah. And you now know what it’s like to be a foreigner in America. You’re you’re in this bubble basically. They say this is the greatest place on earth. There’s really no need to go. this is the best place ever. You know, there’s um without really even, you know, and you know, there’s pros and cons, of course, just like everywhere else, but it it’s um what they tell you about one place is not the same as actually going there and experiencing it, you know, and I would just say about England, um you know, this is a this is a country that um for a short time period, they dominated so much of the world. U you know, they had colonialism. They’re they’re big apologists now about it. And but I mean every they well some of them are you know maybe it’s just maybe it’s just um saving face or something and I don’t want to talk uh super bad because again my my experience wasn’t all that bad. It’s just the influence is huge. I mean just look at look at America in in in just the language you know it is kind of like a universal language and that is really important. The language is really important. Um even though we’re speaking like an export of English uh it’s still you know uh how things are presented spin understood connect everything legal it’s the root of so many things and here we are you know yeah yeah so um so that’s why I was doing all this um but and I did recognize that it was really hard so um you know even if someone equal or inferior to me through through pride were to disparrage me to honor them as I would my teacher by placing them above myself is the practice of all body sappers like you know someone’s derogatory I bow down to them you know so I think it to me it did have this ironic kind of impossible um aspiration and so that’s why I thought it was very But but apparently I was wrong. So there you are another instance where I’m wrong.
So well no no I I think it is in a sense. But what what to me I’m sorry. I guess I take two things too seriously here. But to me, what it points to is um okay, what if like I take my habitual ways of uh viewing the world and reacting to the world and people and situations and just flipped it on its head, flipped it completely around, you know, a complete inversion, a complete, you know, and what would that be like? You know, I put myself in those shoes and be like, could could I do that? I I mean that would be that would be so crazy to actually do that compared to where people are and how people see the world and act in the world and respond to the world. You know what I mean? But um yeah, so it’s a it’s an interesting thought experiment. You know what I mean? I do I do think these sentiments are possible. you know, instead of being super duper uh mad at someone, I could be less mad, but it’s not the full extent of like, you know, completely turning it on its head. Yeah.
So, I I asked chat to change it from a pun to iron ironic and it says yes. So, verse 15 is almost mischievous. Even if someone should expose my hidden faults and deride me to regard that person as a spiritual friend and bow to them with respect. Um yeah so you know I you think X is happening actually X is an opportunity to practice Y. So they they can feel almost absurd. So um the person who gives up pursuing their own happiness is said to be the one who ultimately finds genuine happiness while the personally relentlessly pursuing their own happiness creates suffering. That’s not just a rhetorical device. It’s essentially the central Mahayana claim that the 37 practices are trying to make you experience rather than merely believe. And I think the problem with taking them too seriously is that you can become very earnest and form an identity about them and take it too seriously. And I think that’s the problem with you know all that. So that’s yeah.
So there’s um what the I think it was Gemini or something did this um so it just simplified it. I think it extracts like the practicality of it. So like the 19 when wealthy or famous remain humble and recognize that material success is temporary. When angry tame your own mind rather than trying to conquer external enemies. You know when overcome by desire let go of addictive objects immediately as if drinking salt water. Um yeah. So some of them are really pretty basic. Harmful. Avoid harmful actions. to refrain from unh wholesome actions to avoid future suffering. So yeah, when I I didn’t read the real thing, so I when I read these little summaries and I thought, oh well, this is pretty a lot of these are really basic um straightforward one like this one. It just summarizes as avoid harsh speech, refrain from words that cause distress to others, avoid pointing out faults. This is a big bodhic sappa thing. Never speak ill of another practitioner’s mistakes. You know, that’s um that’s a tough one uh for for us, you know, because we’re we just did it. We just did it. Yeah. We just did it, you know, we were But it’s not specific. It’s not a specific person. Do you know what I mean? We have But I’m always kind of doing that. And I you know, it’s interesting like I’m I feel more like it is just so hard when someone is super frustrating. I’m just putting them all in the private chat. I can’t actually use the public chat, so that has to be Sure, I’ll do that. Okay, I’ll just throw some up here. Yeah. Yeah. Um these these appear to be translations from Tibetan rather than a book that Okay. Um has been translated. I’ll start with 16 here and then can you see it when I show it on the screen? Yeah, I can see 16. Okay. Even if someone who I have cared for like a child were to regard me as an enemy, to regard that person with special affection like a mother towards her child is the practice of all bodhic sappas. Um so let me skip through let me do let’s see here. I think his name is Tokme Gongo. Oh yeah. Do number 20 here. Until the enemy of my own anger is subdued, although I may conquer external enemies, more enemies will continue to appear. Therefore, to tame my own mind with an army of loving kindness and compassion is the practice of all bodhic sappas. Let let me comment real quickly that when I first came in here, there was a guy sitt in the corner and uh I just looked down just real briefly. That was the mistake, I think. And I just felt this is maybe it’s my own mind projection, but like this intense like scowlling and hatred and I was just taken by I was like, “Okay, I’m just going to sit here and this guy’s going to stare at me in the corner. This is weird.” And I felt uncomfortable and I, you know, felt this tightening in my chest. And then I just remembered, ah, loving kindness. I can practice loving kindness. So, start wishing myself well and him well. And it wasn’t but uh two or three minutes and the guy just got up and left, you know. So, I mean, it could have been a coincidence obviously, but it just once that was um that tension was broken with loving kindness, it just kind of fixed itself. So, maybe that’s magical thinking or maybe there’s coincidence, but it really is a remedy I found. Um, and all it took was an internal shift in my own perception basically. Yeah.
Yeah. I mean, I think and I think that’s what it’s all about. It’s not about the other person. It’s about how do you experience the world? Exactly. and and training yourself. So, one of the things that I think is is probably quite key is when you don’t lash out then you are training your mind. And I guess I got so used to restraint living in living in Oxford that I think what happened when I came back to Australia, I still felt kind of frozen in that restraint. And there is research which says that people who are very extroverted I mean I’m obviously highly introspective. Um but that’s I don’t see that as being sort of introverted. I see that as being an you know I’m still very extroverted. I just happen to be very introspective and um and I feel like my the neurons in my mind have just completely kind of re started to rewire and just feel make me feel really withdrawn. And the research is that when someone is very extroverted and they have to be quite withdrawn and pretend to be an introvert, then they kind of go a bit nuts. They they actually it’s really awful. And whereas if someone’s very very introverted and they pretend to be an extrovert, actually they can do it. They don’t, you know, it’s not their natural position, but they can they can kind of make it happen. Actually, I’ve heard that with actors. Some of the best actors I heard here are introverts, but they just just get up there, do it real well, and then withdraw again. But yeah, that’s that’s um you know, and there’s this notion, I guess, in psychology about um you know, going and expressing things that have been uh repressed, you know, as far as emotions go. And yeah, I see that to a certain degree, but I can also see like there’s one of these I thought about restraining um bad emotions or something. Let’s see. Uh what was the summary to one of these things? Apply uh this is how it summarized it. Apply remedies immediately. Eradicate disturbing emotions the moment they arise. You know, some people might say no, you should actually feel them and let them move through. Um you know, uh however, I I don’t know about that. I mean, maybe yeah, we don’t want to suppress them, but also it depends. if we’re going to act on them then we can cause a lot of damage but if you know so I don’t know your thoughts and feelings on on that one I I feel that so that that stuff came from really it’s very Freudian um it was it came because at the time when Freud was writing it was a very very repressive system um particularly for women and so the expression of emotions was seen as being sort of to kind of you became more alive. I see. You know, it helped with the liveless. That’s my understanding. But now we have such an expressive society, we kind of need to unlearn that one. That’s my take. You know, I think people who are very expressive and forthright kind of need to pause and people who are very quiet and withdrawn actually, you know, in therapy or whatever, they kind of come forward much more.
That’s a good point. And there are some cultures that are more reserved, you know, like in Scandinavia, I would say people are more reserved, you know, maybe like German, at least in public. So, okay, let’s see. We’ve got um number 22 here. Whatever appears in one’s own mind from the very beginning, the nature of mind is free from conceptual elaboration. Knowing this not to grasp it subject and object is the practice of all bodhic safas. Yeah. Yeah. try try to do that when you’re like um trying to catch a bus or you know trying to negotiate a you know in the marketplace you know duality is kind of helpful there but but this goes beyond that right so it’s it’s if that can be reflected upon this non-duality um it can be helpful but I don’t know how practical it is and I shouldn’t say don’t do it but I I I still like the synthesis of how do we do that how do we combine this non-duality in in our you know day-to-day life? But I mean, you know, I think that it’s really I think the you know, one of them is I can’t remember where it is, but remain natural and change but remain natural. And I think that’s that’s really key. Um and that actually it might be in the Lo Jong slogans. Um, but but I it’s the same sort of stuff. And I just think you don’t want to be contrived. You want to kind of listen to your own mind, listen to your own body, and not be fake and not be fake to yourself. I think the biggest problem with these verses is that you can become um you can delude yourself that you’re further along than you are. You know, I’ve spoken before about somebody I know and he’s very he’s very clear in many ways, but he kind of can’t tolerate any sense of criticism or something or you know like but what about this thing or what about this approach and anybody else’s approach is not viable. And so I’ve always been very interested by this idea that some people can be very like clear like there’s no doubt that he has, you know, and then there’s these kind of real glitches where he’s a nightmare and and kind of obnoxious. And I I often think people have insights and then they start to identify with them. And I think with these I think you could um but it depends on whether you check it depends on whether you’re honest with yourself. I mean it’s like the whole of the dharma. If you’re not honest with yourself, you’re kind of done for.
I think it also brings up this thing that some teachers are talking about now that there can be people that have great insight, great kind of maybe awakening moments or realizations, but then the personality material is the personality material needs working on. You know, they can really treat people and themselves not so good. Um so when I read this um these other ones that summarized these um transforming adversity on the path you know like when attacked take upon yourself the harm and negative uh karma of the attacker right I wouldn’t naturally jump to that when insulted speak of the other person’s virtues in return that’s not normally what I you know jump to when exposed or criticized respect the critic as a spiritual teacher when betrayed teach an ungrateful person like a loving parent teaches their child. Yeah. So, so, so you just spoke a minute ago about that guy in the cafe. So, it’s not about you, but he’s a teacher and he tells you that you actually have material to work with.
Sure. That’s right.
And you need and I did. It just wasn’t immediate like I like.
Yeah. So, um Yeah. But you you just said one. Um um let’s see. uh when betrayed, treated uh when exposed or criticized, when insulted. Now, that technically he didn’t insult you, but he nonetheless gave you cause to to go, oh, I I actually feel that you could be threatening, which is sort of the same. And um you know, did you suddenly elevate him to a body sata?
Exactly. when exposed or criticized exposed I would maybe felt um respected critic critic as a spiritual teacher. No, I didn’t. I immediately identified myself with a spiritual teacher. Oh, look how good I am and that I figured this out, you know, and uh oh my gosh. And then uh there’s a little bit of pity there that that he could have been in that state and I would put myself above him, right? So yeah. So, so yeah. So this is this is the game, you know, like this is this is the edge to me. That experience that you just described there, that to me is the work. Yeah. Yeah. Like the rest of it is kind of neither here nor there. But that kind of insight where going, “Ah, wow. Why aren’t I full of myself? You know, like haven’t I just And we and you know, I’m not saying you, you know, I’m I mean, most of us are, you know, it’s just so natural because we’re around ourselves, you know, in the royal. We I’m around myself more than anybody else is. So, of course, it’s going to come to the top a lot of times. And so, this is kind of like this um you know, like I Yeah, it is a radical way of looking at things. So like putting everybody else in front of yourself. Even though that was a Christian thing that I grew up, it’s just not to me. I’m sorry I’m overly practical. Like if I take care of this, then everybody will benefit. If I’m a complete mess, nobody’s going to want to be around. So I see that as well. But like the danger and that’s why this teaching of non-self or the strategy of non non not sorry not non-self not self comes in too. But it it is until it’s a little bit more realized, it is just more con conceptual things. So that what we’re talking about here is wisdom. You know, how do we what do we do when the rubber meets the road? You know, how do we how do we how do we hold and respond based on you know what’s in the heart? We well you you know you there I I don’t know that it is conceptual I think to really when when you sort of have some kind of I don’t know barrier like that where you go oh someone like my own mind hit me with wet fish that I just actually wasn’t the person I thought I was. I just think that’s the best. Like I think I think it’s really Yeah, I think it’s the best cuz I’m just like it keeps you kind of um it keeps you in check, you know.
It is it’s a weird um So for me, what was going on there, at least when I reflect on it, is there was a there was a hurt there, you know, a pain. So I didn’t know where it was coming from, if it was him or me. Either way, it doesn’t matter that that I don’t want anybody, including myself, to be in that pain. But then but then in another way it’s a selfish thing instead of going up to him you know and ask hey is everything okay you know how you doing um you know what what’s going on I I immediately got like defensive and and you know in a sense this is all more subtle in general and I thought this hurts u what can I do to get out of this you know how can I fix this basically you know so yeah so holding both of those things at the same time right the selfishness of I want to get out of this uncomfortable, painful feeling. Um, you know, uh, but I also know that there’s potential for mutual um, un unwwellness here and what should I do about it, you know, but me first. Yeah.
So, this morning I was just sitting at the breakfast table. We were having breakfast, my partner and I, and um and I just said, “It’s like I can feel all the pain, like all the rubbish things that I experience, and I feel like I’m constantly being punched.” You know, there’s my the sort of my tender soft body is being kind of punched by the my interactions and the and the hurts that I feel in the body. I I it’s hard to explain how how vulnerable not and I’m not sure I feel vulnerable but it means then I don’t feel entirely happy or entirely horrible. I just feel um like this this body mind is experiencing kind of pleasant and unpleasant sort of moment by moment one thing after the other.
Yeah. And this is vda pleasant unpleasant and and neither of those and it does get a little bit uh strange and weird is when we get we have all we have all that going on at once um multiple times you know um but I I I really like I hear I feel sort of sensations but this was it’s starting to feel very very immediate like as if someone is punching me all the time. And yeah, I’ve started to look at Yeah. So I’ve started to look at the physical experience. So I listen to podcasts sometimes and I just go, “Oh yeah, I’m not going to listen to that.” And then I realized actually it’s my body which is sort of feeling uncomfortable and then I go, “Yeah.” Well, you know, that that it is kind of like a gauge of what to, you know, gravitate towards and what to go away from. And sometimes there’s a there’s a huge wisdom in that and we should pay attention to that. And other times it it’s it’s not helpful. Do do you know what I mean? Like sometimes it’s just indulging in our um indulging what we want to indulge in, but other times I think there’s a there’s a wisdom in and in protecting protecting us and what to engage in, you know. So, it’s not so simple cut and dry all the time because yeah, some things I should I feel really pleasant about that I shouldn’t and other times I feel like repulsed or hurt by things that that that aren’t really serving me or anyone else either. So, yeah, it’s a really complex thing. Yeah. Go ahead.
So, what do you what do you reckon about these bodhis sattvas? like where do you and I guess you know you’re you’re living you spend your time between Denmark and the US and uh different countries and stuff and so your body kind of really must be affected by by those experiences those interactions and like have you have you what have you noticed that is different that maybe five years ago you just didn’t really you know you just kind of went oh yeah it’s like that and then Now you go ah this is kind of ah I’ve changed in this way you know I just live in my head that way I don’t have to deal with the body so I’m half I’m half joking but uh uh you know but but there is there is some of that so like yeah as far if it’s bodybased I don’t think it’s it’s it’s changed all that much. I I would actually say now I’m not as embodied as I used to and I but not horribly significantly way you know I’m just doing a different meditation practice which I think has a huge effect. Um, but like it’s a really good point uh to to bring that back in and reflect more of that question. You’re going to have to refle frame it a little bit, but I I will say just to kind of deflect it a little bit is that um even though I’m more internally focused now, it’s still there’s so much external focus, right? when we’re trying to navigate in a in a foreign country or now really without a um a place of my own, without a car of my own. It’s it’s amazing how now I’m I’m reoriented externally more and more. You know, I still have daily practice. I still haven’t missed any of that. That’s my kind of ground being. That’s when I can really go inside and reassess and relax. It’s almost to the point now where there’s um there’s like a kind of a a stress or like this mental I don’t know like fragmentation or something that that I have to go into meditation that it’s just it like it it screams out by the time it gets to that point in the day and it is a huge relief and it’s like a reset and and a cleansing and a restabilization and a building of coherence that I I really can’t imagine living without these days, you know, it’s an absolute necessity before almost anything else, which is so wild. Um, but sorry, that was a long-winded way to say what was your question again?
I I was really curious to see how maybe the practices have influenced the way that you kind of experienced the world and it doesn’t matter whether these ones or other ones given that you live in different countries and perhaps um before maybe you thought oh you’re kind of a bit self-righteous and sure and now you just kind of are a little bit more circumspect and maybe a bit more humble like like where are you wrong what have you been wrong with And um what was that? What sort of has changed? Cuz that’s that’s not a problem to be wrong. It’s great to be wrong cuz then you’re just kind of going, “Oh yeah, that door shut. Yeah, I was a bit ludicrous with that one.” So yeah, that’s what I’m curious about.
I I will will say that I actually um have more self-confidence now. Healthy, you know what I mean? Because then I don’t I’m not afraid to go do things in in a sense. You know what I mean? um almost like um uh almost like I need more pulling back and restraint, but I’m I’m forced due to circumstances to keep going and moving. But what what I will say is I’ll just point back um to relationship and how utterly challenging and rewarding it is and it’s not really um I don’t think it’s it’s a little bit too private to go into you know publicly but that’s where what when we have a partner they they don’t let us get away with stuff anymore right you know they’ll point out all of our crap just and just wave it in our face and just be and some days I hate it and some days I’m so grateful for U you know and there really is no getting away with our BS anymore where we’re in a relationship.
Yeah. Yeah. Like somebody on a on a retreat said um is that my cat or is that in your house in your place? So I heard like a tinker.
There’s no cats in in there.
Okay. Um it must be my cats kind of about to appear.
There’s four cats where I’m at now though or where I’m sitting. Okay. Um but I uh what was I what was before I got partnership? We were talking about partnership.
Yeah. So there was somebody who said maybe in the olden days monastic life was kind of where you kind of rubbed up against your stuff and then now maybe marriage you know whatever form that takes you know um is the equivalent that it’s tough because you know you get shortteered you get tired you get windy whiny you get resentful you get all these things that just you have to kind of keep constantly in check to make sure that the relationship is wellmaintained and positive and optimistic and also not concurrently sell yourself. you know, like you don’t want to negate your own experience and your own sense of well-being and your own like you do have have needs and and like just and and the importance of of feeling respected and dignity and all that sort of stuff. So um yeah, I think I think it’s definitely an edge and I think that practice which I have which is the two of them which is to notice all the small things that people do to help me feel at ease. That’s that’s just like such gold. And the other one is what am I not seeing about this? When I’ve got a problem my mind’s woring. And I think those two are definitely like it helps me, it keeps me in check from the resentment, the assumption, the self-righteousness, how I can be difficult and obnoxious and unkind and mean-spirited like. So, I’m doing this course at the moment, which is every Thursday for I think we’re up to week five now. So, last week I we had an exercise and this young woman, very timid young woman, said she said, “What’s your favorite, you know, thing about your cat?” And I just sort of went, “Oh, actually, I have a lot of issues with my cat.” like but she but I didn’t want to acknowledge it actually and I and I felt really and I was kind of a bit mean in my reply. I’m like, “How could you cut out?” You know, I just kind of responded like that. And so yesterday, first thing I did is I went, “Oh, I’m so sorry for being mean.” And all the rest and just to check in how she felt, whether she was okay with it. And and also to say, “Actually, I’ve I’ve taken measures to sort out the relationship with the cat.” But but I kind of think like in some ways these practices of a body sata just bring it back. Is that really kind of the go? Is that is it that sort of stuff where when you have been mean to your partner to a you know somebody in the course to just go ah yeah actually I need to rethink my own role in creating this crappy situation.
Yeah, it’s it’s it’s a good point there. There’s some of us that that need more of that to pull it back and look at ourselves because I tend to blame others. Um, you know, but then there’s other people that are the exact opposite, right? That they’re always wrong. Nobody else can do anything wrong. You know, why am I such this? I’m so, you know, the inferiority and the in the superiority.
Yeah. Well, that was that was beautifully put, Wendy. Um, I’m going to put uh another one on the on the thing here. If those aspiring to enlightenment must even give up their bodies, what need is there to mention external possessions? Therefore, without hope, a return or expectation of karmic reward to practice generosity is the practice of all bodhic sappas, you know.
Yeah. I mean, who needs this body just, you know, to sacrifice it for anything? I mean, no, I’m I’m being a little bit cheeky there, but uh you know, this is um uh yeah, how how much are we really willing to give up? And uh especially with you you just mentioned the the body thing and uh yeah, it’s easy to say when we’re not in pain, but when we’re in pain, you know, yeah, we’d like to give that uh pain up too, but um sometimes, you know, how do we do that? And what do we do about it, too? Um and I just wanted to mention on the cushion as well. So like these are all I think uh times for reflecting you know reflecting on this how how am I stacking up like how can I relate to this or how can’t I relate to that and you know where is where am I at what I if I’m in a situation like this like external possessions they’re just like like what happened if all my possessions were given up or what happens if I now inherited a ton of stuff that I now have to deal with or you know have for enjoyment or for burden. So yeah.
Hey Josh, you know how we started a bit late because of technical issues. We can wrap up early. We need to wrap up a little bit early. I’m sorry. I’ve got other things I need.
Please. Exactly. No, we will audited an hour and we’re going to keep to that. So yes.
Yeah. Thanks. Sorry about that. But we will we I hope you have a great weekend. enjoy Illinois and um and yeah, we will see. Well, what should we say about the bodhisattva? Just keep keep on keeping on and you know and fail and fail better. That’s all I can say.
My hats off to anybody on the bodhic safa path that’s taking it seriously because to me that’s like going to a casino and signing up to torture and you know torture your like I I don’t even want to gamble. I just want to be taken in the back room and beat up for stealing, you know, uh for for cheating and gambling because yeah, you’re you’re taking on a lot of stuff and so but I benefit and other beings benefit. So it is really admirable, but it it’s a huge it’s like sisophian um task if you’re taking it seriously. So uh yeah, it’s it’s it’s quite something. Uh, with that, uh, yeah, I Well, I wish I wish you a great weekend and enjoy. I don’t know when this video goes out, but have fun and and don’t sweat the small stuff or something.
