In this twenty-fifth installment of the ongoing live series with Wendy Nash inquiring into meditation practice on and off the cushion I explored conceit — superiority conceit, inferiority conceit, equality/comparison conceit, how it is related to many ills internally and externally and what to do about it in formal mediation and in the world.
A misunderstanding about start time contributed to Wendy’s absence for this Q & A. We’ve since clarified our protocol.
Since I plan to be on retreat in South Korea from at least mid-November to mid-December we don’t plan to do a Q & A in November. Plans are uncertain about December as of now. We’ve scheduled the January Q & A time though
*There’s naturally an ongoing open call for meditation (related) questions for the (roughly) monthly “Meditation Q & A” either by the various social media means listed; integratingpresence[at]protonmail.com or just showing to type/ask live.*
Background
Regular, current and past visitors to Integrating Presence may recall the monthly series “Ask Us Anything” I did with Denny K Miu from August 2020 until January 2022 — partially including and continuing on with Lydia Grace as co-host for awhile until March 2022.
For a few months thereafter I did various Insight Timer live events exploring potential new directions and/or a continuation of the Ask Us Anything format while weaving in other related teachings to these events.
Then, after chats with meditation coach Wendy Nash, it became clear to start a new collaboration similar to “Ask Us Anything” simply and clearly called “Meditation Q & A” especially due to the original intent of the Ask Us Anything’s being “discussions about meditation and related topics.”
Past chats with Wendy:
Audio: Conceit | September 26, 2024 “Meditation Q & A W̶i̶t̶h̶ ̶W̶e̶n̶d̶y̶ ̶N̶a̶s̶h̶” #25
Or listen via Insight Timer (app or website)
The raw unedited YouTube transcription of this podcast:
and kind of the Buddhist teachings it’s framed as superiority conceit
inferiority conceit and comparison
conceit so these are the big ones I want to mention today
and I’ll just read the little intro I have here though in this 25th installment of the ongoing live series
with Wendy Nash inquiring into meditation practice on and off the cushion we plan to explore conceit
superiority conceit inferiority conceit and equality comparison conceit how is
related to many ills internally and externally and what to do about it in formal meditation and in the
world so reflecting on this a little bit before the start here um one of the big
things is this is where I think our um
negative what is it negativity bias can really help us so usually we we are uh kind of wired or
a lot of us are wired to be able to point out what’s wrong with the world the negativity in the world and what’s
bad about it and you know like they say psychologists say this is what used to
keep us from kind of getting eaten by tigers and things like this
and um keep us alert for our surroundings so we could preserve our lives but today we don’t really have
these kind of immediate threats and but they still play out this negativity bias still plays out of
course we have the opp Opposite end of positive toxic positivity but in this case when calling
out con seed I think it can be really helpful as long as we kind of um we meaning the oil we can U and the
audience who’s listening you know can do something about it so this is where can call out like a windy sight
kindly cut the crap right call out these things for what they are and so we can
see them and not be diluted by them and recognize them so where they can be changed so you supposed to start with um
superiority conceit this is a classic notion of conceit that’s usually um
noticed or thought about when we when we talk about con
see so this is what I think what most people
would call like e egotist being e egotistical thinking I’m better than someone else right I am better um and
they’re not as good as me and then this leads to all kinds of things I think this is kind of one of the easier ones
to see even those people who are have a superiority can see can see other other
superiority conceits I’d imagine or at least um and then come into comparison
like oh am I as good as this guy or G so what what can this lead to what can
these this superiority conceit lead to um well I mean we talk about in our
society um what is it neg
um narcissism and I don’t know if there’s a lot of narcissism as much as
people think there are I think maybe a year or so ago it was a huge topic kind of in social media and whatnot but um
but superiority conceit and a lot of times this can lead to things
like justification in one’s actions okay I’m I’m better than so I’m
just going to you know um it’s okay okay because I
I’m better than that and I know better and that’s just how it
is yeah justifying one’s actions because of that you know doing U an action or
saying a thing and then coming up later with justifications for why it’s
okay um of course the obvious ones with this is not respecting uh other people’s kind
of uh wellbeing being in dignity just not really having much dignity um it can
lead to that anyway it can be way more subtle though
too feeling Superior
um kind of belittles a lot of other people too
um of course it creates separation all these types of conceit create this me
and another me and the other
there’s this notion maybe of feeling special and
um I guess probably entitled to you know in a way I think the entitlement
probably runs both ways but when there’s superiority conceit can um then I well
I’m better than this you know you treated me like that do you have any idea who I am
these type of things
and and we can even see this in our meditation practice too when a
meditation is going really good then it can feel like this over sense of
accomplishment you know this notion
of I’m I’ve got this you know I’m I’m
I’m on the right path now there’s no screwing up this is um this is it and in
no time I’ll be enlightened and I’ll have this Enlightenment project out and
done with right
um and this can go to kind of maybe a false sense of
Authority because I’m better than than I can have this thing where I can tell
others what to do I can I know
better these type of
things which is really you know something else too
uh because because sometimes some people do know better you know than others and they
they are a sense of authority and and then they can help others so this is a discernment to knowing if there’s
conceit involved or not um this is where a false sense of humility I feel can
come in and um to compensate so there’s
this air of superiority and then um one can kind of sense this air of superiority
and then in order to compensate or cover it up or to try to counterbalance it
then there can be different degrees of humility um kind of even
forced um on on top of it as a compensation you know if I can just be
humble then maybe people won’t notice um how Superior I
feel you know um or how Superior I am
and then
um but I think it can be a tug of war too
between Superior um superiority and
humbleness so there can be this genuine sense of humility coming into
counterbalance and actually level out this notion of superiority that can be really genuine
and helpful too so it’s humility is usually a good thing no matter what of
course kind of a false sense or a force sense of humility you know maybe not so
much
um so what else does superiority conceit lead to what else is the problem with
this
um this this notion of do you know who I am and then it can
start kind of when things don’t go one’s way then can start kind of denigrating
others you know how dare you treat me this way you know um but that’s can also be
inferiority too I think it’s also a general lack of
care and a general lack of disregard for
consequences you know I’m GNA get what I want no matter what I don’t care about anybody else I’m just going to do what I
do in order to get what I want for me and because I’m better than and I
deserve it and no one really can tell me otherwise
there’s no checks or balances on my behavior actions and I’m going to get
away with as much as I possibly can in order to get what I want for me you know this kind of service to self thing
and you know I think that’s when it gets more extreme and then it can even get more extreme into psychopathy where um
that’s the underlying tendency but it’s not revealed it’s covered up it’s um one
pretends that they’re uh actually not that way
and but will go and do things that that are counter and
otherwise to how they’re pretending to be um but that’s kind of an
extreme not that is an extreme so maybe I’ll just bounce around back
and forth between these instead of trying to cover each one exhaustively here at front or one at a
time the other thing though about superiority if we’re looking in like spiritual circles we have this notion of
Guru ISM and it could be really helpful for some people that have that kind of disposition where it really helps you
know um I might as well just say that first look at an older generation too
especially like um I think maybe in the 60s um the guru ISM could potentially be
helpful right it was kind of especially in the west maybe because um it was a
new tradition I mean it was the Eastern spirituality was new to the west and so
there a lot of people just didn’t know a lot about it I guess you know firsthand so they could go to these
ancient traditions and learn about a um learn about it through a guru who is kind of The Unbroken tradition right and
I think in the Tibetan tradition um there’s a big thing with Guru ISM so um
yeah we also know there’s a potential for abuse in a lot of these things and
that uh I don’t know about a lot actually I I don’t have much experience with this I just just just so this I’m
not really speaking from experience with working with a guru and things like this
um but we know when you give away your power to another one then then there is
potential for abuse I mean there’s also potential for good I guess but I just
wonder about um you know who was the Buddhist
Guru you know he had two teachers and he left them because they they couldn’t
take all the way and some one might say well that’s conceit that’s conceit you know um you know you should have just
listened to your teachers and didn’t think you’re better than than your teachers but again this is where the tricky notion comes in that well what if
someone actually and not framing it as better but what if someone actually has um the potential to bring even U
something more beneficial and more skillful to oneself and others but they’re being restrained or held back um
by um by being subservient to to to another and I don’t know if subservient
the right way to put it but so then when we look at people who are
with this superiority conceit who others have bestowed a lot of power on them and
it really gets people can get bige head they can get inflated and um you can go
to their head so there’s uh they get kind of this power whether it’s been given to them or they’ve taken it and as
we know with a lot of power comes a lot of potential for abuse too I mean of course power can be used for
um the he could many so to speak but the um the potential is right for um abuse
as well so I think power in a sense is it’s how it’s used it’s not necessarily
a good or a bad thing can be a neutral thing too I guess now the the
inferiority when this is uh I think inferiority is conceit so this is the
one that’s not as known as um
um superiority conceit inferiority conceit it’s a little bit counterintuitive for some people um it’s
not to be mistaken with mistaken with humility it’s um what was I gonna say the you uh I’m
not as good as this guy this is um oh and I finally got chat um hi misre and
when we can see when we can see it so inflated there will be a pop happen as
in reality check Etc so coming full circle helps yeah you know that’s right that I
love that visual of an inflation because it is kind of like inflating one’s ego
right and then once it pops then some people that’s what it takes to realize that superiority conce and Mr Reed says
or reality can uh keep us in check when we are true to ourselves so it can show
us the inflation and deflation absolutely this is where mindfulness comes in to um
really uh yeah keep keep us in check right so the the more aware we are the
more mindful we are the more attention we’re paying to these things like that it it’s a built-in self cheing mechanism
and and this is where spiritual friends come in so to speak spiritual friends to give us a balance and teachers too so
teachers can keep us in check as well and yeah ideally we use the inner teacher and can do this ourselves too so
okay now inferiority concede um this is I think this is more common
in in spiritual circles and maybe younger Generations or um well I don’t
know if it just should be generational or not but and this is okay it’s it’s uh
we all have these conceits to some degree or another um so this is when I don’t think
I’m good enough and that guy’s got it all together that girl has it all and
I’m just not good I well this is kind of comparison too but I I don’t feel good
enough I my self-esteem is not uh it’s
lacking I’m constantly worried what other people are thinking about me I I I’m not measuring I’m not
measuring up and then what does this this lead to well compensation right it can
compensate can have low self-esteem um can lead to kind of
sadness and depression um it can lead to
inhibition uh in a bad sense meaning that um I want to make friends I want to
reach out to people you know I I want to make connections but I just don’t think
I’m good enough for that person’s atten I and friendship you know
um when someone speaks to when someone goes in spiritual circles too they might not feel they something might come up
where they really um have a really good question but then they’ll doubt themselves and second guess themselves
oh it’s a it’s a dumb question it’s not good enough or um or maybe they uh who
am I to question this teacher and say anything about this and I mean how is
everybody going to see me when I when I say this to them or
um you know or could be some desperation too like how am I ever going to catch up
with this person or where I need to be you know and maybe even bargaining in grief
right if if only I could do this then I’ll then I’ll get to to be better um
you know uh H yeah so I’m G to keep along these
lines a little bit maybe and then hopefully I’ll I’ll give some uh redress in how to address some of
these so miss Reed says yeah the inferior can lead us to not really living our best life it stops our growth
potential not nice yes
absolutely this can lead to like the wrong kind of surrender
and giving up uh but not in a good way not like um not in a way that some
people um kind of are on the wrong course and it it actually helps a lot to
give up that course and change something new maybe or at least consider it but with inferiority it can be like never
get off the ground never leave the couch you know never have the kind of motivational thing thing and I’ve seen
in in some spiritual circles too there’s there’s even these jokes about uh Enlightenment right or
Awakening and Liberation they think that it it’s not really possible and so they
make jokes about it like you know who am I to think that I could ever happen that I could ever get close to that and goes
into self-deprecation self U and I know there’s some self-deprecating humor
that’s okay but a lot of it can only be pushed so far and can only get you so far right uh that one can be helpful for
bringing down an inflated and superiority ego but you know people that
are constantly down on themselves and um putting themselves
down I mean there’s even as far kind of
um distortions and reversals um that people are now
fetishized by getting in um having others U degrade them and degrate them I
mean it’s really kind of sick um this this notion
of yeah never Measuring Up never being good
enough and these these complexes like that
so um I would say though that I think a lot of people with inferiority can see
they they already see these things they they see a lot of these things but I wonder if they recognize that that too
is conceit we don’t normally think of that as being conceited but in a way it is
conceit so miss Reed says so getting to our balance point is our best tool so we
navigate from there yeah so let’s talk a little bit about um this because this leads into the next uh type of conceit
this balance point is really helpful and this is um within oneself right because
a lot of us do we we have um we have both aspects of superiority and
inferiority and so balancing that out um so let well yeah why don’t we
just talk about that for a little bit or why don’t I talk about that for a little bit and along with com commenters um
yeah so how do we balance this out I think that while the first step is recognizing when it’s there right so and
I don’t know if um the balance point for superiority is
inferiority right talked a little bit about humbleness um and I think when done
right that helps balance out superiority right and um this notion you know the
historical Buddha said well I’ll just drop it in here and maybe come back to it he I am is the
greatest conceit so this notion that there’s this fixed solid sense of me you
know I am this I am that I’ll just I’ll just leave it at that for now so okay so
what can balance out the inferiority and what’s coming up right
now with that is a healthy sense of self-confidence you know that these
Notions of inferiority are ones that have been conditioned in that they just
they’re not intrinsically true that they’ve been learned and conditioned and
there’s causes behind them and there can it can be undone there can be healthier
conditions put in place um to counteract this notion that
I’m not good enough I’ll never be as good is this so why
bother maybe before address more of the kind of solutions to these things
um uh we’ll talk about this I’ll talk about this next one uh it’s called
equality or comparison conceit now this one is the most subtlest one and it’s
kind of little bit uh challenging to talk about
but this is the one where if I think I’m just as good as that guy I’m just as
good as that gal that’s actually a kind of conceit too you know it’s coming from
a place of you know way kind of competition you
know that okay maybe I’m not better than or I’m not worse but I’m at least as
good you know I’m as good as they are or I’m can you know they’re no better than me
so and what does this this what does this do if everybody there is you know
there’s certain things that are helpful with equality in the world right we’re all we’re all um deserving of dignity
you know this notion of kindness or care we’re all um equal in the fact of being
worthy and desire and deserving of care I think that’s equality but imagine if
everyone was the same in every quality you know how boring and monotonous the
world would be in a way I mean there would be kind of no flavor of diversity in the world it would be like a gray
hive mind if everyone was kind of exactly equal in all their
characteristics and that’s just not the way it is I mean not default and so balancing this without falling into a
trap of d uh dualism you know there are different people do differ in certain
you know uh relativistic qualities there are some people with higher intellect than others does that mean they’re any
better or worse than anybody else not necessarily same way with amounts of wisdom I would definitely praise those
who have you know that are on the path to having more wisdom and especially
wisdom that can overcome um stress in our lives in other people’s
lives so you know there there are big people and there are small people you
know there are um people that live close to me and people that live far away from
me so there’s this obvious um kind of things that aren’t equal or um I
guess that doesn’t really apply to equalness but so not everybody is equal in all ways
and that’s okay I think that’s a beautiful thing and not everybody needs to strive to be equal with each other in
certain ways I feel either now the this is more easily noticeable when we term
it comparison conceit right and how much trouble does this get us into a lot of
times now I’m not talking about discernment here to to know you know what’s helpful and what’s not to kind of
put things side by side and do an evaluation like this word evaluation um so that’s not what I’m
talking about this comparison conceit is how do I line up to this person and then
I’m um being judgmental towards them and to myself they have it this way I’m not
like that so this can feed into superiority and um inferiority can see
right for these things that we’re we think that we need that we see in others
and that we’re not there yet well then I’m not good enough they’re better than
me and so what am I going to do about it another thing with the inferiority
conceit is going into competition some people might then oh I gotta I’ve got to
compete against them to get better this can go the other way too with superiority conceit where I’ve got to
maintain my superiority or wait a second that guy seems more Superior than me I need to climb the ladder and get ahead
of him um and do whatever it takes to to do and so this is where I think unhealthy competition can come into
this notion of comparison though you know it’s uh it’s a can be a tricky one
because we can we do need to use some kind of self-evaluation but it’s it’s within
ourselves right it’s it’s um not comparing to anyone else but maybe where I was five years ago maybe looking into
the future and think okay what kind of path do I want to be on and what do I U what has helped me come here today and
what do I need to do to continue continue on this or choose another way and where I want to be and um what what
takes me off the path I need to be on what puts me on so this is a kind of evaluation self- evaluation that can be
helpful but when I’m sizing up other people uh to to feel especially to feel
better about myself that’s where the really superiority conceit comes in when I look at another and then I I I use
some judgments in a way that makes me feel better about my myself because I’ve you
know I’ve U put them in a box in a certain way and then looked at myself and say either I don’t have that or I’m
way better than that than that can U you know than that tends to superiority
conceived and again like I said this comparison can see can go the other way where oh my gosh I’m so far behind here
you know what do I do about it um this type of thing and what this really kind
of all hinges on I feel is is um is this notion of uh uh I Me Mine you know I am
this I own this um this is who I am and
it’s really strong and unchanging but I don’t think reality work in my
experience reality doesn’t work like that this notion of who we are is um
constant set of fluxing and changing processes you you know um
energies that are not locked in They do change and so when we think we should be
a certain way all the time and even go out of our way to to build up this false
notion of this is me um I I this is mine
and this is who I am the more I cling to that notion that that’s the way it has
to be and I’m going to protect to keep keep it that way and fight to defend it
that way then it can lead to all these types of conceit in the world so yes
it’s helpful to have that sometimes and you know how do we pick that up how do we hold that how do we use that but
how clingy are we to that notion of how
I am and a lot of times this is this is um when I find out
operating on assumptions that I didn’t even know they were there until they kind of uh come to light so how many
kind of expectations are we unconsciously operating on I mean all kinds really you know um like I just
assume that this house will be heated you know that I will have a heated house I assume that I’m going to put food in
my belly when I need to put food in my belly I’ll have access to water um I
assume that you know a little bit more safe assumption that when I walk outside the door I’m not going to float up into
space because gravity’s going to quit working I mean that’s a little extreme but um you know who
knows I assume that I’m going to live through the day but you know who knows
there’s no guarantee of that so there’s all these constant assumptions that we
we operate on and it’s it’s okay I mean we can’t I don’t think until we’re fully awaken we’re going to be able to see all
these unconscious um expectations and assumptions that are operating but when we um can call out
the glaring glaringly obvious ones that cause disappointment time and time again
when they’re not met you know that I feel is kind of worth
evaluating another form of this superiority conceit is uh and I heard
this recently and I really like this is putting things in boxes you know if I can just get
everything everything sorted in a box compare this okay I I look at the world
and then I’ve I can put it in this box this goes there I’ve got this figured out this is what’s Happening Here I know
about this when these things happen oh what’s going on there oh this is what’s happening so I got that figured
out so yeah this can be helpful to kind of navigating the world and um kind of
making sense of the world but when I really deep down feel that that’s going
to be make me okay and provide for my long lasting happiness welfare and
benefit and that of others if I can just do this um you know boxing of things in
the world getting it all figured out neatly organized and you know feel good about how I’ve sorted it in my viewpoint
then that’s going to help me out and that’s going to a long term and that’s going to be for my benefit so
uh this is a really interesting one to explore like I said doing that helps us
make sense of the world and can help us navigate through the world but this is where these views and
opinions we have I think can really I know in my experience really clinging to these views and opinions and how I think
the world is and how it operates um can really get me in trouble
sometimes so
this next one um of clinging to views and opinions
you know this is another one that solidifies this sense of self uh something we cling
to we maybe a lot of us don’t cling to you know material Goods
anymore or maybe um I don’t know a certain religion
or um I don’t know but we some of us still
cling to ideas and opinions right and we all kind of fight to defend them and and
this is the way it is and nothing else is right and this is a tough one
because a really wise view can be very liberating and very helpful it can help
free bonds of ignorance and you know help others too at the same
time if I’m clinging to an view an idea and opinion really tightly and then when
something comes along that flies in the face of that and I’m not willing to let it go well then that’s a setup for um I
guess suffering and disaster even in a way at least some stress
can be so and though this isn’t this can also
be contrasted with Um this can also be contrasted with uh
you know well what do I need to to speak out on and give opinion to and uh back
up and defend so we just got just got a delivery here
so I was I forgot exactly how that worked and if I need a to sign for anything but apparently I
don’t so comparison
conceit all right well I think um probably will wrap up early since Wendy’s not here it’s just not quite the
same without her um uh actually I just got I just got um
word from her she thought it was an hour had it for an hour earlier she missed it
okay so um instead of leaving all this stuff
let’s let’s address how to best address these things you know feel free to chime
in with everyone’s Solutions here and how we deal with these conceits and like
I said the the biggest one I feel is actually seeing this and recognizing this you know um the historical Buddha
talked about seeing the the danger or let’s just say the Allure the danger and
the Escape so when evaluating and investigating all these things it’s one
way to see it and we’re taught to see the or the the Allure and the danger are
kind of obvious to us or can be once we evaluate them but the Escape meaning not
to avoid it but how do we um what’s the best way to like um I guess resolve um you know
wisely resolve solve or get out of it without avoiding it or pretending it
doesn’t exist or denying it or running away from it but what is like the true escape from it instead of getting Lo
locked into cycles and U gridlocked and
despair because we we don’t know what to do if we’re in these uh forms of
conceit yes and misre says know thyself this is a this is the classic spiritual
thing especially in the west you know what is this who am I what is this is
this really who I am you know and I think um we were talking about I was talking about this the other day
yesterday actually with a podcast that we released with the meditation teacher here in Denmark and
it kind of knows to be honest with oursel first off to stop kind of duding
ourselves and yeah knowing our limitations knowing
our strengths knowing our uh weaknesses knowing what we can do and what we can’t do
realistically and what’s our relationship with that how are we with that you know really seeing honestly and
clearly how we’re doing and a lot of us have these built-in blind spots and this
is where teachers and friends can come in you know it said that honest feedback
from someone we admire is worth more than a mountain of gold because there’s these things that we just can’t see
about ourselves right and so when we have people we admire and respect Point these out to us in ways that are helpful
it is so helpful this is why this a dialogue um can be really helpful and
and it’s uh this mirring uh principle where we don’t normally see things about
ourselves that when we’re in interaction with another it can even without it
being explicitly stated we can sometimes see things in another that are also in
us that we haven’t seen before we can have things pointed out to us either deliberately or not deliberately um that
we haven’t seen before and we can provide that to another as well
again this is where wisdom comes in and obviously
knowing finding these blind spots knowing what’s happening is one thing and then how do we address these I think
the one of the other things is what is a relationship with this you know um these
moments when I’m uh caught in superiority you know when I see that how
does that land in the heart when I have these moments of inferiority how does that land in the
heart and then these Notions of conceit and this is on a spiritual level too so
we kind of get rid of these gross forms of ego inferiority superiority ego and
this judgmental um uh comparison conceit equality
conceit and we get more into the spiritual versions of them right and so
then that’s a whole another layer and level of these Notions of
conceit and we see these huge you know even just having a podcast I think in a
way is is is A Great Notion of conceit because okay I’m I’m so good I not only
one podcast but two podcasts on YouTube you know and in front of people like so
um a lot of people just kind of have the disposition I see them and just like wow you know this person is really full of
themselves but then again that’s can be how much of that is comparison
conceit you know and or um oh my gosh I just got this little Channel I’m nobody
you know like why even bother why even bother going on and speaking out because I’ll never be good enough I mean why am
I wasting my time and other people’s time when there’s obviously so many more people better than me on there you know
so then the comparison right uh okay okay who’s oh how many followers do I
have uh how many viewers how many likes how many clicks you know and these tie
into worldly winds too that was another so the inferiority is gain out to get
more and more and more all right and it it feeds superiority a lot of times
gaining and um but we’ll gain and lose as well and then the opposite loss feeds
into um inferiority right I can’t I’ve lost this I’m so and then I know for me
I losing was so painful that it was better to stay in loss than to face the
pain of losing again so that feeds into inferiority Fame and ill repute right
Fame get uh more and more Fame builds up the EGO uh can lead to
superiority conceit and infamy you know I’m belittled and my reputation is
ruined I I I’ll never be able to to build that back up again
and the other one is Pleasure and Pain right I got to maximize pleasure at all
costs I want all kinds of central Pleasures you know I want to have a yacht huge house nothing wrong in and of
themselves it’s just when I think I’m better than or Justified for doing actions in order to get this pleasure
because I think that’s the way to go and then the opposite pain for inferiority I’m in such pain why am I so what did I
do to deserve this pain you know I I I can’t get out of this pain I I I’m just
such a horrible person this type of thing and then praise and blame praise
uh I gotta you know I’m I’m acting to get more praise and I feed on that
praise and then um you know well everybody likes me I’ve got all these
testimonials you know um people are all these great people are talking great things about me and I’ll just seek out
more of this and that will give me more credibility more superiority more Authority or oh so
and so says this about me oh I can’t believe that I’m such a horrible person
you know then they think this about me and why why can’t I ever you know live
up to to who I’m supposed to be you know um wow they they they um you know i’
I’ve caused all these challenges and problems for people they you know um so
then people can be down on themselves for for when others blame them you know and feed into that
whole um thing as well so miss Reed says yep I’m not the only
one on the planet so we are all our teacher and friend our enemy diversity
and Harmony yes this was in response earlier before I got on a roll there yeah this
notion of being our own teacher and friend and enemy and our own diversity and Harmony it really is you know all
this is inside of us this is all within and you know how much are we operating
on projections right and how much are we neglecting this internal
thing so I think Miss Reed gave a really good cue to the solutions to this the
you know the answer is inside the only way out is in the only way out is
through and the only way through is in this is where we know thyselves right
we know we find that inner teacher we find the inner friend um we we find the
Inner Harmony we we know our enemy Within we address that and we see where
there’s diversity we see where there’s Harmony within and then once this is all addressed
internally then it’s just natural since there’s you know as within as without as
they say that this is going to be um a reflection or has an effect on our outer
World um who we come into contact with and how we operate internally and
externally so yes we can’t control what happens to us all at least all the time
but what we can have some kind of say over and seeming agency is what we pay attention to and how we pay attention to
it and that goes internally and externally um at least I mean if
something’s right in our face it’s going to be harder and harder to deny it right um externally but but when we go inside
then we can we can work with these things we can um choose what to pay attention to and what’s important and
not at least in my experience what I neglect a lot or don’t pay as U much Credence to is how it’s done how how am
I paying attention to what I’m paying attention to and what is a relationship
to it so these things that I’ve mentioned
have been actually a lot of external things but these can act as a mirror um
for for our internal work our meditation work a lot of times some people can see
it easier in others and sometimes we can see it easier in ourselves for certain
things right so we can use this kind of mirroring principle to to see um where
not only where we we still have work yet yet to do or um where there needs to be
some balance accured but where we’re actually balanced and where we shine and
um where we can see the light of others see the light um from others in
ourselves as well so we can use this kind of miror ing principle to recognize
our own light in others and vice versa and our own goodness so that’s another
way I think to address this is um our innate goodness one of the ways that uh
one of my uh well a teacher iire not my teacher or anything like that because no formal thing like that but one the ways
he gets into kind of more of a concentrated genic state to start off is
just reflecting on one’s goodness you know reflecting on U or the goodness
someone else has shown us and by goodness I mean um just think of anyone said a kind word to me or maybe I’ve
provided a kind word or maybe I just spent an extra moment with someone when I didn’t have to you
know when I’ve showed myself Extra Care and I’ve given care to others when I
didn’t have to uh senses of generosity and how when we’re generous it can and it does for
the most part up when it’s given the right way uplift the heart uh and then
it uplifts another from receiving and then when we receive generosity right
we’re we’re giving um a chance uh for the other to have their heart uplifted
and then the the open receiving and appreciation of generosity can uplift
the heart too so when we when we really get into these benefit beneficial
wholesome uh helpful qualities skillful qualities then this notion of lack and
superiority and comparison there’s really not much room for them or they
they um their downside becomes more immediately uh apparent and we can see
these and we don’t have to resort to these these defaults that were were
nourished enough internally by things like generos generosity
goodness kindness compassion you know rejoicing in others happiness and this
uh grandparent wisdom quality that um
that this this even Kess where we can um recognize we care
about others and at the same time they have to live their own lives we can’t make all their choices for them and
we’re there as a support if they need it so these nourishing qualities can uh is
almost an antidote or where these Notions of superiority inferiority they
just kind of fall away and they’re not really as important to do anymore these
these more these there’s better things out there that can be of use for us and we
look at the world today and how out of whack it is uh because of the conceit I
went over but the other things are greed ill will and delusion or not in the
psychological sense but this notion of ignorance or not seeing these things you know not um thinking that I’m not greedy
or you know not aware that I’m greedy or not aware that I I’m harboring ill will or have ill will so those three poisons
or UNH whome roots and then conceit that’s a lot of the world’s troubles and
all those actually need to be placed to temporarily you know these um woses of
the world in order for it to go inside and do this type of work at least
temporarily right so the the grief and distress for the world can be set aside
temporarily in this um this um Lust For The World wanting something from the
world that has to be set or helps to be set aside at least temporarily to to go with it and do
these work because if those aren’t set aside when we go in that’s going to dominate our inner experience oh this is
happening in the world I can’t believe this is happening in the world can you believe they’re doing this or I want this in the world this is this is I
gotta get this this is what I’m here for this is the most important thing got to get this up so those have to be U I
would just almost say have to be but it’s it’s more helpful if they aren’t set aside uh because those are can’t
even hardly get off the ground internally when those are there and of course those are going to be there to some degree
when we first start because that’s kind of the momentum uh that we’ve been conditioned into uh living in the world
being of worldly ways and things so bronze Hai I don’t know if this is um
how how it’s said or not but um says how
did you grow a majestic beard like that oh boy uh uh so it’s come to this um you
know I don’t know I don’t know it just uh it just grows yeah thank you for the
uh I’m sorry I don’t have any tips and insights for um being a majestic beardo
but I guess apparently that’s that’s that’s what’s
happening yeah yeah the beard one one nation under beard no um which one is
worse self-conceit or narcissist yeah you know this is uh I
mentioned this a little bit at the the beginning and I’m I’m I uh well of course narcissism is is is kind of a
pathology and I think it might be overstated in the world that there might not be as many narcissists there’s
narcissistic Tendencies for sure but Extreme narcissism I think is maybe more
rare than we think however you know this um it’s interesting because some people
can benefit benit a lot from seeing this when they didn’t have any idea that someone has been a narcissist so there’s
there was a lot of stuff online to to going in and calling out narciss narcissist and I think it should be more
about narcissism instead of the narcissist that way we’re not kind of getting an enemy to to go take down you
know but just realize that those narcissistic qualities are happening and we have to take steps to to to to deal
with them if we have these n if we’re dealing with narcissistic qualities in our lives you know from another and
ourselves too if we have those things in ourselves of course those have to be addressed but demonizing the person
behind them I don’t know how good that is it definitely has to be addressed though because AB abuse is never okay
right and so self-conceit is uh pretty much everybody is dealing with
self-conceit on one level or another sometimes it’s way more extreme in others in certain circumstances than
others but I think until we’re fully awakened there’s going to be some version of conceit here and there you
know inferior Superior or this uh comparison equality conceit so yeah
narcissistic Tendencies obviously to me are way worse uh because that’s kind of an extreme form of superiority conceit
or it just it’s just extreme conceit is what narcissistic narcissism is I feel so um
but again you know this is this notion of comparison it’s like okay well what are we what do we need to address in our
daily lives you know what are we dealing with where where are people at we need
to meet people where they’re at so if we’re dealing with narcissistic Tendencies well we better up our game
because that’s a little bit maybe more important uh priority that needs to be addressed um but if we’re just dealing
with everyday conceit you know it’s still important too because drop by drop it can accumulate and lead to things
that aren’t helpful right so
yeah well here I said we might end early and there’s only like three minutes left so I appreciate you all for being here
and putting up with my kind of St slow start slow in the meaning that I was a
little bit Rusty kind of um relying on Wendy a lot
to to kind of push it forward and have a dynamic so it’s just kind of like out of place
you know U but I’m this is a really important topic I would love to hear Wendy’s take on it too
and but maybe for another time but yeah so we don’t have another
one scheduled but we’ll probably get one scheduled I imagine I’ve got news here
that um and I guess it’s mid November when I need to leave the shingan area
I’ll be going to Korea so I’m looking forward to that I’m book to go there and on a month-long Retreat Zen Retreat uh
so I I’ve been wanting to do a really long dedicated Retreat uh Meditation Retreat for quite a while and I didn’t
imagine it would be in the Zin tradition so and in Korea of all places so I’m
kind of preparing for that looking forward to that and perhaps sharing what
um makes sense to share about it afterwards uh but I don’t know if they’ll be there
obviously won’t be one from mid November to mid December uh
when I’m on Retreat so w and I might make up um some of these before and
after or maybe not we’ll see what happens again please um send in any
questions you have about meditation in particular I know these I didn’t address this so much for meditation but this is
a place to see and seed is in meditation and um you know so specifically
meditation related questions but anything that relates to somewhat like this and our lives on and off the
cushion um in our energetic and spiritual practices and in in daily life too so you’re welcome Miss Reed and
you’re welcome bronze and until next time may you all
come to see and know conceive and even more
importantly how to best address that and be so nourished in your heart
that conceit can become a thing of the past so that all beings everywhere can
benefit
Integrating Presence 
15 thoughts on “Conceit | September 26, 2024 “Meditation Q & A W̶i̶t̶h̶ ̶W̶e̶n̶d̶y̶ ̶N̶a̶s̶h̶” #25”