This October 10th, 2022 Insight Timer live event addressed verse 50 of the Dhammapada as wisdom for potential clearing, activation and advancement:
Not the perversities of others, not their sins of commission or omission, but his own misdeeds and negligences should a sage take notice of
VERSE 50 OF THE DHAMMAPADA
Thanks to Ellen for the great comments prompting some spontaneous teachings of sorts. I initially recommend a related podcast called “Ghosted, Ignored, Canceled?”:
Some of the (other) topics touched on include:
- he said / she said
- getting upset
- mistreatment
- clinging
- (perceived) expectations
- what others think
- dismissal
- self-responsibility
- connection
- society
- challenge
- righteousness
- control
- change
- imposing
- advice
- frustration
- care
- allowing others to live their lives
- emotion charge
- absorbing into other
- pulling back
- self-monitoring
- energy
- entanglement
- expansion
- healing
- memory
- behavior
- self-pity
- self-hatred
- what’s needed now
- comfort zone
- existence and nonexistence
- love
- wisdom
- neglect and abuse
- desperation
- giving one’s heart away
- innocence
- belonging
- worry as fantasy
- letting go of friends and making new friends
- feeling alone
- escape
- interconnection
- being in relationship to everything
- pain
- (experimentally) intending to be rejected
- indifference
- putting oneself in another’s shoes
- empathy
- victimization
- aspiring to sagehood even if not practical
- seeing fruits of skillfulness
- review and hindsight of meditation practice
- negligence in meditation
- amplification
- vulnerability
- opening the heart
Audio: Negligence and Misdeeds for Sagacity
The raw unedited YouTube transcription of this podcast:
Deeds for sagacity
potential clearing activation and
advancement from verse 50 of the dhamma
Pata which reads not the perversities of
others nor their sins of commission or
Omission but his own misdeeds and
negligences should a sage take notice of
so then reflecting on this for a little
while now it came in a Buddhist
newsletter and not quite this
translation I found this translation
really fond of not so much about sins
but you know we can just interpret that
how we want
and just to understand the words here we
all pretty clear on perverse
perversities of others things we just
kind of find fault of and the first part
we’re looking at others right so they’re
sins of a commission or a mission we
know what commission means in terms of
money right you sell something you get
Commission on it people will work on
commission if they have their goods or
services in a physical space so they
might get Commission on what they sell
there in this context I feel it means
like what is someone else either doing
for you or what are they allowing you to
do what kind of commission were they
giving you what’s in it for me kind of
thing a mission is pretty much the
opposite if you’re admitting something
you’re leaving it out so what are others
neglecting me on or leaving me out on
giving me the short stick on short
shrift but so then this this next one so
not paying attention to those so much
but one’s own misdeeds and negligences
should a stage take notice of so
misdeeds and I’ll go into this how this
could be misinterpreted too what one has
done maybe that one wouldn’t have liked
it done negligences of what have we
neglected first off a disclaimer you
know this is just kind of my own
interpretation of this my own
experiences with this what I can share
this is not to be taken as gospel
obviously so things to consider on your
own reflection on this and of course put
down what’s not helpful and take up
what’s helpful the first one this comes
in all the time I think where okay so he
said this she said this
she didn’t say this she didn’t do this
he didn’t do this this that or the other
so this is the kind of thing that we all
encounter in our daily lives and a lot
of times we’re about to speak for myself
here a lot of times I’ll um I will get
upset because someone has either
included me in something has cut me out
of something said something to me didn’t
say something to me this ties into my
preferences of how people treat me how
people should treat me you know in
expectations which
how much am I clinging to those
expectations and preferences right this
goes into this classic saying that’s
helped me so much for a time I was just
so overly concerned what people thought
and said about me really concerned about
that when I heard that what other people
think about me is none of my business it
was like this huge relief yeah you know
it’s that’s their business what they
think about me not mine now there’s a
the the the polarity of this can be
where I can just use that to write off
my own behavior right I could say oh
it’s no big deal you know people are
gonna think what they’re gonna think
I’ll just do whatever I want that’s be
careful for me to fall into the same
trap of that kind of not giving heed to
how Society runs and functions and it’s
a kind of a danger for me now because I
feel like oh yeah well I mean I can just
kind of get out of it or or you know who
cares societies like so messed up this
kind of righteousness holier than thou I
can fall into that trap still now too
this is an aspiration of mine too is
talking to people not about people way
easier said than done so we all see the
benefit of actually connecting and
talking to someone that we instead of
just talking about them behind their
back I mean how often do I do that right
people here can probably relate too I
don’t consider so much oh hey so and so
like a mutual friend you know what what
are they up to how are they doing and
then maybe some news comes up and
ideally though if there’s an issue with
someone or a challenge with someone will
speak directly to them I know it’s not
always the case and sometimes things and
situations can get really sticky and
then there’s a really good like mutual
friend both parties that can act maybe
as a mediator although that’s an
interesting role in and of itself too as
others saying of that place into I feel
kind of more updated on this is I can’t
control other people if they want to
change they have to want to change
themselves if I’m constantly spending
all my time and energy on the sins of
commission or mission of others or
noticing perversities in others that I
don’t like and that I feel I can have
some kind of intervention in or
something like that and maybe sometimes
there can be however for the most part
and especially it shouldn’t come from a
thing of control like this power Dynamic
of me wanting to control other people
because it’s impossible it’s a kind of a
Fool’s game now if people come to us for
advice and help that’s another story but
to impose my will and my judgments and
values on someone else trying to control
them for whatever reasons it’s kind of a
fruitless effort can also be frustrating
too I mean the frustration can still be
there for me and a lot of times it comes
out of being care too we want to have
the best for this person right so this
is where Equanimity I feel can come into
realizing oh hey they have to live their
own life make their own decisions even
though I care deeply about them I can’t
be there making all their choices for
them either and sometimes it’s just you
know heartbreaking to see someone you
love and care about just do crappy
things when I look at this too it’s like
where is the emotional charge and pull
to this why do some people in our lives
have such an emotional charge and pull
over us and especially at certain times
right what is that all about while other
people are just totally indifferent
towards so this emotional charge is in
this pull towards certain people this I
think will really draw us into their
world I know at least for me when that
emotional pull and charge is there it’s
just like I’m getting sucked into their
world and I totally kind of forget that
oh hey what’s the point of that
how much of a waste of time is that
sometimes it’s just getting out of that
complete absorption into someone else
basically pulling back this is a phrase
that the Shifu at Mid-American Buddhist
Association says a lot or at least did
when I was studying under him pull back
pull back and the mind and emotions will
go out to something but bringing them
back so that’s the first step for me is
just kind of realizing oh yeah hey uh
how am I viewing this how am I seeing
this what are the thoughts what are the
feelings where the emotions what needs a
response to this how am I going to deal
with this it’s like self-checking again
what we pay attention to amplifies what
we pay attention to right and a lot of
times it gets entangled so where
attention goes energy flows realizing
that okay the more I pay attention to
one’s sins of commission or Mission or
the perversity of others it’s actually
making them stronger and giving them
energy and becoming more entangled so
this is where the wisdom comes in for me
of okay well what about me what about my
misdeeds not just their misdeeds what
about mine what am I neglecting here on
myself so early on I had this this
expansive period when I was first in
healing when I actually was
acknowledging Misty
by myself and others too but mostly for
myself it was just kind of like really
sobering of all the things that I have
forgotten what I did and how I was
behaving I just really couldn’t see it
until I really started meditating it had
gotten that far out of hand right and
now with a lot of that stuff healed and
brought up to see and then committed to
behaving better and whatnot what this
can do though is it can go to the
opposite extreme where it can turn into
self-pity right oh I did I’m so such a
bad person right I did all this stuff to
them and there was that time where I was
just kind of stuck in that self-pity of
oh my God this is so horrible you know I
I’m such a bad person I can’t believe
I’d been in the mic and spit out
everybody hates me I don’t deserve this
you know what am I going to do this kind
of thing the other thing you can do is
turn into a dismissal though kind of
just glossing over this now where I’m
saying oh yeah I shouldn’t pay attention
to others okay I got it yeah I shouldn’t
pay attention to what other people are
doing the perversities their commissions
and missions what they’re doing what
they’re not yeah I don’t need to look at
that so it’s almost like glossing over
it so I think that’s the imbalance that
can be taken out of that too no abuse is
abuse right that needs to be
acknowledged and seen and acted on too
right we just can’t say oh I shouldn’t
pay attention to that but that’s not
what this verse means it could be taken
to that extreme too what am I neglecting
here when I look at myself a lot of
times it’s this question that we all
know of right what’s needed now so it’s
a beautiful question to ask that brings
things home maybe if I’m being honest
right now I just need a little bit more
sleep here in the short term not
something I really want to admit but
maybe that’s needed right now maybe
someone is so dead inside that they just
need to do something silly like not
necessarily literally here take your
clothes clothes off and run through the
woods naked or maybe someone is so burnt
out on plant medicine they’ve been doing
so much plant medicine that they need to
like I don’t know sit in a room for
hours this is kind of silly extreme
pondering the question what if existence
and non-existence didn’t even apply what
would that be like while things like
this also what’s being neglected am I
neglecting more love aspect or a more
wisdom aspect a lot of times you get too
into these kind of hard qualities where
it’s just kind of letting the emotions
take over or getting so deeply involved
and connected and absorbed and merged
into something that hey maybe a little
bit of wisdom is needed here because
it’s completely lost right or the
opposite where it’s getting really cold
and rigid sharp with wisdom and there’s
just no heart anymore there’s no heart
quality so bringing these Notions of
like compassion loving kindness
rejoicing and Equanimity and whatever
other beautiful heart qualities are
needed this also neglecting is like a
core wound so this is one of our core
wounds this is I see this that folks
that are neglected they’ll do anything
to including abuse so a lot of times
abuse will feel better than being
neglected they’ll go back to the same
type of abuse over and over again
because that’s what really gives that
emotional charge that hit kind of makes
a feel alive maybe like an addiction or
something it’s better than being
neglected that’s more on an external if
I look internally like what’s being
neglected and this is where the again
this question of what’s needed now
what’s being neglected these kind of
dark areas of ourselves that need love
and care too but sometimes obviously
we’re either in denial or we don’t want
to look at them for a long time it was
like well my desperation needs love and
attention to this wild quality that
repels people of oh I want to give my
heart away so quick and that it scares
people off right those parts need love
and attention too and our innocence I
feel as well for me for a long time
confusing innocence with stupidity and
low Consciousness but no it’s not the
same thing you wouldn’t expect like a
third grader to know calculus Ellen says
I’ve struggled with worrying about what
other people think my whole life we have
a human need for connection so that
connection feels threatened in a way
when I feel dismissed rejected unheard
yes Ellen I did a a live on this about
ghosting cancel culture and things like
this some people found that helpful and
this is really really common maybe not
everybody’s ready to hear this but I
learned this from a teaching that worry
is the worst kind of fantasy we could be
fantasizing about all kinds of lovely
beautiful things but what we’re worrying
about actually hasn’t happened yet it
doesn’t mean we don’t care and we can’t
prepare but actually worrying about
something is is a fantasy of something
that hasn’t happened and so when we get
to that point at least when I did it was
like a relief to realize that now the
human need for connection yes think of
what I think about all the friends that
I actually lost when I started to wake
up a little bit and give a crap it was
heartbreaking to lose those people that
I spent so much time in energy investing
in and at the same time you know maybe
it’s cliche to say that when one door
closes another one opens but that’s the
way it does sometimes it takes longer
for it to open than other times but it’s
almost like for people in my life that I
really even more value now I had to kind
of let go of the of the old friends that
we kind of outgo each other we just kind
of went separate ways our past diverged
so our interests weren’t the same the
connections weren’t the same but when
those were kind of let go of and grieved
it opened up space for others it’s
easier to say than actually going
through it now that connection feels
threatened in a way when dismissed yes
this connection it is a sense of
belonging is so very important I know
with deep meditation practice for me
it’s like when people say do you ever
feel alone I wish it maybe it sounds
wild but it’s like I wish that I could
like Escape people in environments for a
while but it’s not like that today I was
in a rural area my focus place and even
going into the woods there was these
Blue Jays and they were just
and then there was crows right and
there’s bugs and this is maybe not what
we think of a human connection but it’s
like impossible we can’t live in a
vacuum we’re connected to everything all
the time in a way a lot of times we’re
not aware of it but even our own minds
and feelings right there’s really people
can numb them out for a little bit but
they’re always back the body we’re
always connected to the body our
relationships to everything how we’re
relating to things that’s our connection
too so for me it’s impossible really to
not to disconnect there’s ways in
meditation to disengage temporarily but
we’re always kind of like aware of
something that awareness is
interconnected in a ways that brings me
great comfort a lot of times in in other
ways it’s just like okay well this is
can be really intense sometimes how do I
hold this well thanks Ellen she says
you’re so write your words are helpful
thank you but it doesn’t make the pain
really at least for a while it being
dismissed rejected unheard it can be
really really painful what I did as a
little practice for a while is actually
go out with the in the reverse intent to
be rejected to be dismissed to be
unheard instead of dreading that fearing
that actually making that the goal in
practice with that and see what that
feels like also I realize that
indifference isn’t really necessarily
rejection or dismissal and hurt so many
people have so much stuff going on
they’re so mired in pain that when I met
with indifference if I don’t aware of
that sometimes or I don’t even know
what’s going on with them obviously a
lot of times you know we can feel into a
degree with what’s going on just because
they’re indifferent doesn’t mean they’re
they’re hostile or don’t care or I’m
sometimes it might be but realizing that
until I myself in their shoes I really
don’t it doesn’t really dismiss their
behavior or say it’s right obviously
this question of well what have they
really gone through in their lives that
are making them behave this way towards
me right now it turns more empathetic
into like instead of me taking it as
being victimized what the hell have they
been through that they’re acting like
this treating me like this not in a cult
total shock or disbelief okay yeah
where’s the Common Ground here what can
I see or notice about this it sounds
easy for me to say this when I’m in a
quiet reflective space right but the
real challenge comes in our everyday
life like seeing okay well how well can
I see that and view that and what’s the
repercussions of seeing that and really
letting it sink in and when I don’t or
however the strategies that we use back
to this verse here this can actually be
applied in meditation really well too
our own Misty needs and negligences
should a sage take notice of well I mean
we can expire to be a sage right I mean
that’s a great aspiration I feel for
just about anybody even if realistically
never get there it’s still a admirable
thing or we can see these qualities in
others too again the not so much
misdeeds in meditation maybe in
reflection and contemplation we can
reflect on and the opposite too okay
well when I acted unskillfully and
unwisely well then a lot of times we can
see how those have unwise unskillful
results and then the opposite oh I I
said this someone said this to me this
happened to me I did this I saw it this
way instead of this way and now that I
can see the benefits of that so this
kind of Reflections it also this is kind
of go to evaluation after meditation too
it’s like okay well what worked and what
didn’t this is something I am I lack on
a lot too is that actually just going
back and reviewing not only each
individual meditation session but
progressing over time A lot of times it
happens very gradually it’s hard for me
to notice without review of you know
what are really the kind of turning
points it just kind of builds momentum
but when I look way back I can obviously
see tons and tons of benefits and
progression now the negligences for this
just means in meditation for me you have
a meditation object when am I neglecting
coming back to the meditation object
very simple right this this feedback oh
the minds wandered oh now in an emotion
so back to the meditation object the
breath or whatever it might be that’s uh
and then how are we neglecting how we
return to it right are we beating ours
am I beating myself up it’s like oh bad
meditator can never do this right or
just being too LAX and saying oh you
know whatever I just need to space out
right now I don’t need to really stay
with the meditation object or be clear
on what the intent is or anything like
this so it can act as a feedback
mechanism we don’t have to always look
at neglect as something negative or I’m
really doing something wrong I look at
more as like what’s wise and skillful
here what really needs attention and
when when we give something attention we
amplify it right so where do you want to
put your power what do you want to
amplify what do you want to risk
entangling it because when we give our
energy and attention to something
there’s a risk of entanglement would we
rather entangle with Enlightenment
entangle with wisdom entangle with the
beautiful heart qualities beautiful
mental qualities risk that yes yeah I
want to risk that I want to amplify that
well with that guys thanks so much for
joining appreciate the comments and
questions and the vulnerability with
sharing that’s how we really deeply
connect and open our hearts to is being
vulnerable at the same time
being brave enough and wise enough to
know when there’s abuse involved to
let’s do whatever we can to get out of
that situation again that question
what’s needed now you know sometimes
it’s pulling back and doing more
self-care self love self nurturing other
times it’s like okay well I’m way in my
comfort zone here I need to actually do
something a little more wild or risk
something get out of my shell get out of
my comfort zone this constant balance so
later on guys much love much wisdom
English (auto-generated)
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