I described this (now edited) April 29th Insight Timer live event as follows:
Let’s explore what can be done to transform, transmute and turn ghosting and being canceled into nourishment to support the well-being and awakening of all
Cancel Culture definitions:
a social environment in which publicly boycotting or withdrawing support for people, organizations, etc. regarded as promoting socially unacceptable beliefs is widespread practice
Cancel culture or call-out culture is a contemporary phrase used to refer to a form of ostracism in which someone is thrust out of social or professional circles – whether it be online, on social media, or in person. Those subject to this ostracism are said to have been “cancelled”. The expression “cancel culture” has mostly negative connotations and is used in debates on free speech and censorship.
Ghosting (behavior) definitions:
Stopping all communication with a person
Ghosting, also known as simmering or icing, is a colloquial term which describes the practice of ending all communication and contact with another person without any apparent warning or justification and subsequently ignoring any attempts to reach out or communication made by said person. The term originated in the early 2000s, typically referring to dating and romantic relationships. In the following decade, media reported a rise in ghosting, which has been attributed to the increasing use of social media and online dating apps. The term has also expanded to refer to similar practices among friends, family members, employers and businesses.
the practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication
Example: “I thought ghosting was a horrible dating habit reserved for casual flings”
After a disclaimer and the above definitions the approach is three-fold:
- what this feels like
- psychology involved
- perceptions, responses and action
But before this I mention:
- not Johnny Depp trial related
- frequency/how often
- some real life examples:
- canceling stand off of who can cancel who before getting canceled [event example]
- ignored at workplace
- indifference from folks at neighborhood park
- of me ghosting temporarily (partly as experiment) then explaining later, resulting in frustration toward me and my temporary (inverted) satisfaction
- light despair
- empathing this?
- misunderstanding (IG behavior example: follow many, rarely on for reciprocating likes, follows, messages, post and scroll for couple minutes)
- is/was this a good fit?
- thought and emotions beforehand?
- golden question: how can this be an opportunity?
- can you invite more; invite absurd, imagined, feared extremes?
- exception of victim/victimizer (abuse/abuser) cycles
- put oneself in the other’s shoes
- soliture, disentanglement, seclusion, disengagement, renunciation vs. isolation, loneliness, not belonging
- (lack of) appreciation involved with frustration
- social and professional status, worthiness, ego
- power (plays), respecting power of shadow as expression of consciousness
Perceptions, responses and action:
- being tested
- compost, mulch, fertilizer
- Four nutriments:
- Physical food (kabalinkahara)
- Sense impression (phassahara)
- Volitional thoughts (mano sancetanahara)
- Consciousness (vinnanahara)
- anicca — inconstancy, changeability
- separation (from 5 daily reflections)
- the eight vicissitudes or worldly winds
- real, authentic inclusivity
- prompt, clear, concise communication
- podcast guests example — chat instead of dismissing, not responding
- balancing kindness with boundaries
- aware of people pleasing
- being superficiality agreeable in social situations — when someone says let’s meet/talk again soon (my podcast example)
- integrity in word, honesty, kindness, boundaries, and forgiveness and resolve when falling short
- a way into this: what are you leading with, what do you want to lead with, and find out what would be most effective to lead with. (Mine is truth at expense of awkwardness. Example of joking about malfunctioning light)
- expressing views upfront (example of me working on not holding back until end)
- welcoming; ease of coming/going
- authentic recognition, acknowledgement, honor, respect
Takeaways: Cancel Culture can be a clearing; can teach us how much we value keeping our word; how uncertain life is; and how many things falling away can serve us well