Friendship: The Whole of the Spiritual Life

The description for the brief April 20th Insight Timer live event with the same title as this blog post was a sutta snippet:

Ven. Ananda said to the Blessed One, “This is half of the holy life, lord: admirable friendship, admirable companionship, admirable camaraderie “Don’t say that, Ananda. Don’t say that. Admirable friendship, admirable companionship, admirable camaraderie is actually the whole of the holy life…

https://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/sn/sn45/sn45.002.than.html

Some (rough) notes:

• talk prompted by insight timer back and forth about friending limitations (for teachers)
• best advice I’ve been given
• past talk “how to find (meditation) teachers”
• can teachers and parents be friends?
• buddha asked about family members ordaining and he abandoned wife who was soon expecting child
• not fond of “spiritual” & “holy” and what about “lord”
• what is “the holy life”? . . . beyond the base program
• why are friends so important? support, encouragement, empowerment, and for me: conduct, respect
• regular friendships can be transactional
• what is a good friend at any stage?

• Characteristics of a good friend (from AN 7:35):
  • gives what is hard to give
  • does what is hard to do
  • endures what is hard to endure
  • reveals secrets to you
  • keeps your secrets
  • does not abandon you in misfortunes
  • when you are down and out, does not look down on you

• call up after 5 years and like no time has passed
• friends dropping away making way for new friends
• insight timer great online platform
• my “don’t associate with fools” talk
• interactions, acquaintances, and “double awareness”