So Paula Conroy and I recorded this on Aug 29, 2023. I was in a nature park and from a full charge from the start my cell phone connection somehow drained completely out by the end. Luckily the service we used continued recording Susan and I on both ends separately. I finished uploading my portion from my laptop later after I got back online. The magical internet. If it seems disjoined or incongruent that’s because I removed a couple of parts at the end where I unknowingly talk over her after the connection drops.
Topics include:
- Rites of Passage
- Paula’s transition from Corporate Banking into Mature Feminine Leadership development
- initiation
- trusting intuition when going through unknowns
- phases of decay and renewal
- indigenous wisdom
- power of telling and listening to each other’s stories around a fire
- transitioning from one stage of life to the next in a healthy way
- Frequency Circles
- levels of consciousness expressed at various types of events
- parental involvement in Rites of Passage
- interconnectedness
- family dynamics
- integration
- trauma
- triggers
- bypassing
- self-responsibility
- gender programs, confusion and inquiry
- inclusivity
- diversity
- unity
- remembering who we are
- catalysts for awakening and change
- what the world needs right now
- healing
- community
https://www.thefrequency.global
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thefrequency.global
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/paula-conroy-0823454
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100018794802677
Biography
Paula is a transformational leader who supports women to transition from one stage of life to the next in a really healthy way. She uses the ancient wisdom inherent in traditional Rites of Passage processes to bring awareness to the elements that are required to ensure that these inevitable transitions in life are done well.
Paula’s main focus is to support women to become aware of their fragmented parts, recognize how to self-source to heal these aspects of self, and bring them into wholeness, therefore discovering the possibility of moving powerfully into their next stage of maturity and into their full potency of Womanhood.
Paula spent 15 years in Senior Leadership positions within Global Banking, managing large, complex, multi-jurisdictional teams. She recognizes the criticality of Conscious Leadership of Self as an essential capacity to cultivate, prior to taking on the responsibility to lead others. Feminine leadership capacities have been buried under the current culture and way’s of training, and Paula is stewarding women through transformational journey’s to discover this for themselves.
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The raw unedited YouTube transcription of this podcast:
hey wholeness welcome this is Josh depold of integrating presence and today I have Paula Khan con Conroy with me
um Paula how’s it going today hey Josh I’m really good thank you it’s actually evening here for me I’m based
out in Australia so the night has already begun in Australia we’re no longer in the day
that’s right I keep forgetting the international nature sometimes of these things uh a little mind-bending
sometimes to consider all this so what I usually do is since we haven’t really talked hardly at all I’m going to throw
it back to you and ask and who is Paula and what does she do and maybe
where what what has happened to get you from where you were to where you are now
a great question and you know who is Paula wow what a big question we could start with just you know the infinite
you know infinite facet of non-dual awareness that is each of us is a fractal of the Oneness Consciousness
um but as Paula um I am a transformational rights of
Passage facilitator and what that means is that I facilitate transformational
experiences processes um rituals ceremonies and transitions
for people who are moving from one stage of life into the next
um and and bringing back the ancient wisdom that is in traditional rights of Passage Ceremonies for indigenous
cultures from around the world into a modern day context and into a modern day culture because there’s so much wisdom
and insight and um uh sort of historic knowledge and
being a level of being within those processes that support people to move from one stage of life to the next in a
really healthy way and it’s something that unfortunately we don’t do very well in our culture we’ve we’ve forgotten
especially in the west how to mark key transition moments of our lives and so we are living currently in a world of
uninitiated adults who are not necessarily initiated into their maturity or initiated into their next
stage of their evolution as a human being not a human doing but as a human being and so we have technically people
that are stuck in their level of consciousness of of their youth of their childhood and reacting from parts of
their childhood that are no longer actually needed or necessary in the
current day adult that they are and so you know I came to this work because I
went through a really big transition myself I used to work in corporate banking for 15 years holding senior
leadership positions within that organization it was a global bank I looked after large multi-jurisdictional
teams across many different locations and managed really large balance sheet
and defended a really large balance sheet and was very much in that world for a long time thriving at times in the
complexity and the excitement of what it meant to be as part of a global system such as that was a global bank I work
for and really enjoying many of the facets of learning about how captive
networks around the world can really support the spreading of an idea of a
way of being at scale um there was always that that interesting facet to me of like wow
we’ve got a real captive network error of 300 000 people working in this organization imagine what’s possible if
we turned lights on around this organization so um I did a lot of work there off the side
of my desk my day job had lots to do with banking but my work within the organization was always people orientated
and that was either within my leadership role or within um the role of the employee Resource
Group that I worked worked as a co-chaired with a friend of mine um who
um we we brought in mindfulness programs we’ve brought in health programs we’ve brought in fitness programs all in
service to the people the greatest asset of of the bank and the institution
um but then you know there was this part this time when it came to a certain points in my journey there with uh with
the bank that there was a knock from the inside of my being there was this sense of agitation the sense of an awareness
growing or kind of creeping in day by day month by month that this is not in fact the life that I’m meant to be
living this is this is not the path that I’m meant to be on and I’ve been called to something different but I actually
have no idea what that is and so that sense of agitation now in
retrospect when I look back is really that invitation from from Consciousness from the universe calling to us to find
our true calling to really turn towards the path that we’re meant to be living and meant to be walking down but we
don’t have the tools from from our culture our upbringing our education from our community from our parents to
really know how to transition from one stage of life to the next you know we’ve been funneled down these Avenues of what
a good life looks like you know get a job get the 2.5 kids get the dog and the white picket fence and you know follow
all these steps and that’s what success looks like when in actual fact so many people are struggling with that so many
people find themselves with all of that and then they’re like well I’m not actually that happy
and so for me yeah discovering rights of Passage and well first going through a writing rather messy transition I’d say
from my side um you know not necessarily having the culture the tools the know-how to
transition well and in that messy transition discovering how to do it well by utilizing these ancient processes and
practices that are inherent within Rites of Passage passage processes and ceremonies to support me to transition
well and now I am I support other people to do the same which is which is fantastic
well very cool and very amazing even though those are cliche words before we
get into Rites of Passage which I’m very very interested in I wanted to see what
else you could say about navigating this Labyrinth of the banking system you know
especially on a huge Global level you know with I won’t mention
um the things I could about the banking system so I’m fascinated about what that
was like maybe on personally um navigating from the Insight out of
that and the transition especially how to go to such an entrenched I would say
lots of programs involved in in that industry too and how to navigate out of
them or transition out of them or what you did and how you do it yeah no I mean really good questions you
know I’d say first up the banking system itself is made up with a lot of people and people are awesome
um and I feel like there’s there’s you know certainly my experience of it where you know people if in the past I
mentioned I work in banking people like oh God banking you know there’d be this real aversion from a lot of people
around around it as a system there’s so much bad press about it it’s such a complex complicated convoluted system of
infrastructure and people and processes that it is by its very nature a large
complex Beast that is going to get things very wrong um and unfortunately you know human
dynamics do come into it where people have been you know influenced in ways in which they potentially you know under
duress perhaps or under whatever circumstances people have done things along the way that have not that have
not been right that have been questionable you know my personal lived experience of it was that majority of
the people that I worked with were all really good hard-working honest kind caring people that were there to do a
good job we’re there to make a difference you know there was this real sense of of of connecting to purpose
within the organization of you know you know we are connecting to we are connecting customers with you know
businesses with opportunities and customers with businesses and the way in
which we do that is through moving money around the world and through holding that money for for for customers and for
businesses and so there was this real sense of of um enablement that came
through as part of the values you know how to act with courageous Integrity you know how to be open how to be connected
how to be Dependable how to hold the right behaviors like there were so many things that were trying to be done well
within that very large complex difficult system but my personal experience was was of it
that the system was like it was like glue or goo trying to make change in this really
slow large complex Beast of an organization and of a of a General Industry
is incredibly difficult when there’s so much density and inertia the systems are
so dated and you know in the last sort of five years we’ve seen the banking infrastructure come on Leaps and Bounds
and this isn’t possibly response or reaction to what we’re seeing emerge with things like the cryptocurrencies
Bitcoin the lightning Network all the ways in which the messaging services around funds and money can can update
um but it’s possibly going to be too too little too late you know I mean I’m gonna have to I’m really curious to see
what’s going to happen around around what happens with the movement of money around the world because transparency is
most important and although there’s been great steps to improve transparency within the banking industry there’s
still so much room for error because there’s so much data there’s so many dated systems and there’s so many plasters on the background of what it is
that happens in the banking industry I think them most people out in the street would be quite shocked at the level of
manual intervention that’s involved there so you know there was always the sense of like wow we could do this
better and then trying and persevering around that and then getting stuck in the bureaucracy of it and stuck in the
in the challenge of trying to initiate change within an organization or within an industry that was just so big so
unwieldy so difficult to manage that you know the opportunity kept getting missed you know
it didn’t operate fast enough to be able to sustain some kind of Direction in in
a new way that was going to be really meaningful for the customer ultimately for the customer you know and so for me in that Journey
although I learned I mean I did I learned an extraordinarily huge amount while I was there you know really
detailed experience of how to work within a captive Network and how to relate with people in that organization
and how to interact with customers and high-level customers of CFOs and CEOs and CEOs and be able to really piece
together treasury functions and exciting stuff that was really like wow big things would happen in the paper and we
were a part of that process of initiating that kind of change for something to happen so you know it was
incredible incredibly macro and micro at the same time and so for me I feel
personally like my experience 15 years in that in one organization there was that I really got the sense of the
Oneness of the globe you know people that um I would talk to that work in their own local industry as gorgeous as
that is I mean I work in a and you know I mean I work in a large organization or a globe organization now but the
um people that are working very local have this real sense of localization this real sense of of almost a bubble
mentality and for me I had the privilege of having you know a real Global sense of mentality the world was was
everything so it was like everybody all together how do we get something from you know Cuba across to the US and then
over into China and how do we make all of that work how do we synchronize all of that so I feel very grateful for that
perspective that it gave me um and at the same time you know through that career I started waking up to wow
the necessity for change to happen not just on an infrastructure level but also
very much on a on a personal level you know we needed to make greater changes
around diversity and inclusion we need to make greater changes is around gender equality I just kept seeing these
attempts to be made to create inclusivity and diversity within organizing within teams and within
structures and yet somehow it always seemed to default back to the old way of being there would be a woman and a man
right at the end of that process and bang the man would land up getting it for whatever reason and that that kind
of thing got really disheartening for me for me for a while that rose up in me as I started to wake
up to the prejudices the Injustice the internalized patriarchy etc etc within
that complex environment and I recognize that hey everything in my life is always a mirror
for something that’s going on inside of me so I can take that view of pointing my finger outward and blaming this
system and blaming the people for all of these challenging experiences I’m having
in reaction to what I’m experiencing on the outside or I can really live
practice what I preach which is taking radical self-responsibility for recognizing that if I’m triggered it
belongs to me and it’s nobody else’s fault there’s something in me that is requiring my attention I need to hunt
that process down Within Me In order to be able to be a part of the solution a
part of that healing process that this world needs instead of perpetuating the trauma by blaming creating separateness
pointing my finger outward and in order for me to do that I had I I knew that I had to step out of that
system I had to I had to remove myself from the contracted environment in order to create the possibility the
environment the fertile bed within which I could go through that deep healing journey and go through all of the
processes that are associated with that the dismantling of my internalized capitalist my attachment to the money my
attachment to being somebody important in invertent Commerce having a big job title you know feeling my sense of
self-worth by externalizing that through some sense of external structure making
me feel like I was worth something and you know in that there was a real dissolution a dissolution of that egoic
construct of that person that was in that position and it was painful and it was terrifying because I didn’t know
what I was dissolving into and I didn’t and I was leaving so much behind like
there was this wonderful glossy career path that I had with all the support in the world being a female leader in
banking I had all the support in the world and yet I chose to turn away from that and deal with the concert well the
implications I don’t want to say consequence but the implications of that choice and having to get really super
comfortable with trusting in the unknown with trusting in that that that that call to transition was taking me on a
journey that even though I didn’t know where I was going I was going into the unknown as good old Elsa from Frozen
says you know into the unknown and I don’t have any guarantees that anything is gonna for that’s something that I
don’t have any guarantees that something is going to come out of this it’s going to be fruitful I have to just trust in
this intuition and Trust in this instinctive knowing and Trust in the resonance that I have to know that this
part of my life needs to die in order for this next phase of my life to emerge
which is more aligned to who I am and more aligned to the purpose that I came here to be
well this is great I I really appreciate the sharing and I’m talking to more and more folks who have a similar path you
know um another guy that I just recently talked to was an international Banking and
another one was a high-powered lawyer and they came basically to saying very similar things to what you’re saying and
my path is kind of on the the other end of this where
um I kind of was the low man on the totem pole within the corporate world for a while and I saw how climbing the
ladder wasn’t going to lead me um to a lot of happiness and fulfillment
at the same time I had no idea what the alternative was so I had to completely
get off one train in order to kind of create and be in a huge process for a
long time before yeah creating my own thing and yes what I hear you saying too
is it’s about consent what are we consenting to and what are we feeding you know and of course the thing about
blaming externally that’s a huge thing I’m still working on
um projecting in and of course yes the trigger I always say if I get I love to be triggered out because that just shows
me what I still need to work on um very good points here and so if you
would share anything about um what you went through after you kind of
hopped off of that and the transformational process that happens and then maybe how that ties into I want
to get back to then um these Rites of Passage because I’ll just set it up a little bit here
in the west like you’re absolutely right that I know of the only kind of rights of Passage are these dark Awakenings I
would think you know um going out getting completely disillusioned with the world I shouldn’t
say the only but um getting into trouble maybe doing things maybe I’m not proud of
um kind of testing limits not knowing what to do and figuring it out later
lack of mentors and guides not seeing the importance of Ethics
just basically a lot of confusion and disarray I’m sure there’s other healthy
ones now when I look at Native cultures you know they’ve got these built in from what I understand from a long time ago
where it’s yeah and I’ll let you talk about that because that’s your wheelhouse you know way more about that than I so so yeah
yeah beautiful um yeah look you know they’re there there are many ways in which we can
approach key transition moments and that’s really you know Rites of Passage
have got the the the framework for that process that you know this is this is a
a term rights of Passage right coming from ritual and passage obviously being something in between two doors but you
know recognizing that when we are moving through the passageway that there’s ritual that comes into that process in
order for us to create the type of compression that is needed in order for that transition to be done really well
and you’ve really well articulated there the shadow side of not having any
healthy rights of Passage in our modern day times or in our Western world is that ultimately we go out and we create
them for ourselves that every transition requires something some form of compression if we think about a baby
coming from the womb out into the world it gets compressed in the birth canal we think about a butterfly metamorphosing
into a or a caterpillar metamor frozen into a butterfly it dissolves completely
and then it forms in its cocoon before it breaks through you know we need to create some form of compression for
there to be a transformation for the for the individual to be compressed through to become aware of what needs to drop
off and die in this old phase of their lives to be able to make the space and
the availability within their level of being and within their Consciousness within their minds to be able to Vision
into a new version of ourselves you know so without creating healthy
rights of Passage that by their very nature always hold a challenge and an
ordeal a challenge or an ordeal there’s always something that we need to press against to learn I’m pretty sure many of
the listeners out there can resonate with the fact that when we look back on our lives it’s usually through the toughest times that we’ve learned the
most and grown the most as difficult as they have been to be in most of us will look that and say wow that was one of
the hardest things I’ve ever done and oh my gosh I grew the most and that’s the whole point of rights of
Passage is to bring back a healthy safe culturally appropriate
challenging experience to support especially the children transitioning
into young adulthood through that adolescent you know window you know somebody transitioning into death
somebody transitioning into marriage somebody transitioning into having a child to create the understanding and
the awareness within the community of the fact that there’s always going to be an endemic Challenge and ordeal and
let’s share our stories about that those have that that have gone before us let’s share our stories about that you know
the elders need to tell their stories and the youth need to hear the stories you know there’s this real sense of of
transference of wisdom of experience of those that have gone before us that can
benefit through the generations in such a potent way that again are all the oh
people these days are just shunted off to an old age home and we visit them once a month you know we don’t have that
practice of sitting in circle and listening to our elders and then sharing their stories in a way that’s super
potent with the lessons we don’t share stories of Mythology anymore which are so layered in their complexity and in
their wisdom that everybody who listens to the same story comes away with some sort of different Insight based on
what’s relevant to them in that moment you know we’re losing cultures around the world all the time because we don’t
have the preservation of the lineage through the generations there’s just all of these facets of
healthy functioning communities with all the ages included and this practice of
sitting in a circle telling our stories in intentional ways sharing how we’re feeling has just been lost we now are
way too superficial we interrupt too much we tell our own points of view we give our own perspectives we make a joke
we try and rescue someone we just we’ve forgotten how to really deeply reside in
our own presence and our own state of being and be present to another person’s story in a purely witnessed state
you know and this is something that I really saw um missing a lot in the banking industry as well is where is our capacity for
deep listening to really deeply listen to the to the challenges of one another
like we can’t listen because we’re still so traumatized ourselves that when somebody else is triggered or traumatized and they bring that to the
table we don’t know what to do because all of our live wires are going crazy like we’ve we that building of capacity
that building of presence to be available to be with whatever’s arising
in the present moment has sadly been lost and this is really rooted back I feel to the forgetting of how to sit in
healthy Community with that ladder of age and that sharing of story process it’s so unbelievably potent you know and
it’s in that that we then start to be able to bring in that understanding of Challenge and ordeal and that this is an
absolutely necessary part of every transition let’s not be a virgin from it let’s not condemn it for being bad let’s
not judge it let’s not be afraid of it let’s recognize that it’s going to be challenging there’s going to be
difficult feelings that will come out and that’s okay that’s okay we are here together and alone you’re gonna do it
but we are all here together let’s create a degree of compression and challenge for you individual to go
through your transition while all of us bear witness to that and whichever way shape or form is appropriate for that
culture and you’ve got to trust and know that when you return from your challenging experiences you will be
received into the community in a way that is going to support you on your integration of letting go of the things
that no longer serve you giving you the possibility of being able to Vision into a new future for yourself individually
and collectively within your family and community and then we can honor you and really honor you for the individual that
you are bring out your unique gifts and talents and reflect back to you what a remarkable individual you are
you know most of our youth today don’t have that degree of of support from Community most of our youth today just
get told how they are all the time and harm you know how bad they are and how much they’re doing wrong and uh the
Youth of today and all those sorts of things that get vilified it’s like it’s so tragic because these individuals
going through the most important critical stage of their transition within their lives are not being
celebrated for The Unique extraordinary beautiful facet of creation that they
are you know the indigenous people call this process the spirit process it is
through intentional rights of Passage that we get to draw the spirit out of the individual and hold a mirror to them
so that they can see themselves in our words and reflection of who they are so that they can connect to these
extraordinary talents that they have and not be just told and beaten down and that they’re terrible and that their
their youth of today and then they they don’t seek like help seeking behavior in today’s youth is that a disastrous loan
are you’ve turned to the internet they don’t turn to your trusted Elders or aunties or uncles or parents you know so
we don’t have culturally the structure we don’t have community that we have the
community structure and we don’t have the capacity within our modern day um individuals because you and I Pat
maybe you did so I won’t speak on behalf of you but I certainly wasn’t initiated through my rite of passage in this way
you know and as a result of that I then initiated into my adulthood and it was
probably way more discombobulated than it than it maybe needed to be
now there’s a much greater degree of calm like capacity to be with people in their transition States is way greater
because I have gone through my own transition too you know so there are many jewels that
we can pull from the process and that we can Implement into our lives in really straightforward and simple ways that can
support the rebuilding of this and the connection to this ancient lineage that’s in the Zeitgeist and the
frequency around us all the time well beautiful it makes me wonder now
about this notion of individuality and collectiveness um I know some people seem more geared
to get more support and benefit from community and some people like maybe to
work more one-on-one or internally and then of course I feel we need some
degree of both but the one thing that I’ve been exploring too recently is
community as well and so could you talk a little bit more about the kind of dichotomy and dynamic I mentioned as
well as community and how you see that going I know you’ve touched already
quite a bit on it and then how that might very significantly from culture to
culture as well as commonalities in University universalities universalities uh easy
for me to say um between you know that runs throughout
yeah beautiful I mean one of the examples we use you know I work very closely with a gentleman called Dr Anna
Rubinstein I’m here in bar in the Byron Shire and he’s a globally recognized expert on rights of Passage and has
coined a lot of the different levels of process that do his research and do the work that he’s done and we run these
trainings here where we teach people around what are the what is this process of a rite of passage what are the key
components and at the same time we bring in the experiential Journey for them over the three days on how to build
community with these different facets of the process and I have to say it’s extraordinary what happens and we have
people from 18 years up to 70s so 70 plus sometimes in the community that we
build you know of about 36 people over the course of the three days and you know that age range brings with it the
most extraordinary beautiful level of diversity and wisdom
and reverence and respect that in our day-to-day life it’s not
necessarily available because we’re too involved with our own selves and our own story so there’s an experiential process that
we go through utilizing things like sitting in circle and telling our stories connecting in these very unique
ways and a number of different processes that we run around that in order to help people remember how to do this well
and to be honest it’s a remembrance this is deep within our DNA you know sitting around a fire and telling stories is
something that we have done for hundreds and hundreds of years as human as humans
as in our in our level of Consciousness it’s something that we are deeply familiar with but it’s Fallen away in
our modern day times as we’ve got our little gadgets in front of our faces which are our modern day fires you know looking down at at this blue light
screen um you know and Anna always uses the example of um
of these festivals so he was doing some Keynotes across a number of different festivals one was a family Festival one
was a Dance Festival and um one was I can’t even remember what the third was but more specifically what
he would Point towards is that at that family Festival where there was tiny little babies and toddlers all the way
up to grandparents like the bathrooms were well kept the toilets were well
kept there was minimal litter you know there was just a different frequency to
the whole festival that had a level of respect almost built into it without
needing to ask for it although of course people you know there is that level of of request around you know let’s let’s
respect our space that request was put into the Dance Festival at all as well and it was just a completely the
demographic was like 18 to 50 or something with a few outliers and it was just a completely different kettle of
fish you know the the rubbish and the litter and the disrespect and the revolting toilets just you know
completely different frequency completely different vibe and yes context perhaps is different as well Dance Festival versus you know music
festival for families context is different but you can see what happens when you get one group one age group
together that aren’t necessarily in that letter of of healthy functioning
Community across those different different age groups you know so there is this call you know and I think we’re
pursuing as well with our adolescents you know we run a lot of camps for for parents and and children transitioning
into young adulthood so we always bring in the parent and you know we don’t do children on their own because and even
when we do the work in schools we do schools that involves the whole Community we can’t just do work with the
kids because if they’re going to come out of their Paradigm shifting right of passage experience where they
potentially did a solo overnight with them for the first time on their own in the bush with bugs and insects and
creepy crawlies and all sorts of things and they come back all of that Peak experience and they land up back in the
classroom or back in their home and the parents or the teachers don’t know how
to support the integration of that Peak experience back into this 3D world that
we’re living in that potential to have that whole experience be minimized be
washed away be just combobulated is drastically heightened you know and know
that you feel very strongly about integration given the name of your of your podcast but you know integration is
such an incredibly important part of the process the peak experiences do one thing and then it’s like right the
rubber really hits the road on how do we integrate these big experiences what do we do around that and so to have the
whole community of Staff teachers students and parents enrolled into the
school program with everybody understanding what’s going on so that the whole functioning of that process of
transition can really work at a cultural level is only available if everybody’s
there much the same as with the camps if we did camps for just the children same thing they’d land up back at home with
the parents forgetting that with their child transitioning into young adulthood there is a requirement actually a
necessity for the parent to be transitioning with them to understand what this next layer of experience that
their child is going through entails and what’s involved with that so that they can also let go of the things that no
longer serve them and show up to meet their child or their young adults their their you know the person that’s
transitioning in a much healthier way I mean we’ve seen so many dads for example
that their little girl gets to 11 12 13 and there’s Dad going no you’ll always
be my little girl and little girl’s like I’m not your little girl anymore like I’m a teenager you know and next thing
we see relationship breakdown between father and daughter we see Sun going off
with his friends which is actually a developmentally appropriate thing for him to do at the age of 14 but mum
overreaching and overstepping and why is my son drifting away from me mom’s not prepared for that transition mum’s not
ready to let go of her Bush doesn’t have the tools she hasn’t been told that it’s a necessary transition that she needs to
go through to to let her boy go on his right of passage and come back to her
and meet her in a healthy way as a young adult you know so it’s absolutely essential
for the try for all of us to recognize that it doesn’t just the the individual
going through a transition is one thing but it it involves the whole Community it involves the family and when it’s
done well it doesn’t have the potential to just support that individual transitioning it actually has the
opportunity to uplift the whole community in that process where the whole Community feels that sense of
belonging feels that sense of interconnectedness you know feels that sense of of Oneness
Consciousness within there within their within their um within their tribe and
you know you’ve quite rightly touched upon the fact that some people thrive in big groups and other people thrive in
small groups and this is where the beauty of it is is that there’s so many layers to how it can be done when it’s
done well with the awareness of inclusivity that those that thrive sharing their own stories in small
groups can absolutely do that and at the same time when they’re sitting in a larger Circle they get the opportunity
to listen more effectively to everybody else’s stories and learn more about themselves in response to or in relation
to the things that other people are going on that that are going on for other people and with that comes the
possibility of each individual realizing hey I’m actually not that alone and what
I’m going through there’s other people that are going through really big things that actually I resonate deeply with and
I don’t feel quite so isolated there’s this shared comment sense of humanity that comes through the building of
community in this way and the intentional sitting in circles together
this is so important I’m glad we touched um mostly on this kind of more Global
level and now maybe it will trickle down to the kind of more relational ways most
of us are used to you know on spiritual Journeys people was the old ramdas saying you know you think you have any
kind of spiritual degree of progress entainment or whatever just go spend some time with your family and you
mentioned uh the the mother and father Dynamics there which I feel are really
important there uh you know maybe this is a little bit too personal but my folks you know
um they were they were like everyone else they were doing the best they can if
they could do better they would right you know um and then for people in abusive situations so you know abuse is
never okay that’s time to get out no matter what you’re doing and not uh
defending or allowing that as well so but with the family Dynamics you know if
these tools have been available you know to some of our loved ones and their
families I think it would have a better impact on the traditional quote-unquote
family Dynamic you know it seems like it’s a real challenging time for
whatever reasons be it there’s an incentive to break apart families or
everyone’s going through their own stress to begin with that there’s not much resources left the education on how
to be in a family the role models and examples are kind of lacking and so
we’ve got that whole dynamic which is really complex as well and then we have
the men and women thing so I want to give you a chance here to speak a little bit about your wheelhouse working with
women to um but not too much maybe [Laughter] this is but uh no I definitely want you
to to get into that a little bit before we go on to maybe even um bigger things besides just our
relationships which are a huge thing and even the historical Buddha said that um
you know spiritual friendship is the entirety of the path I’m going to go on to maybe after we address this maybe
some just more philosophical or idealistical things and maybe how they
might be more grounded into reality but yes let’s I guess address maybe if there’s anything else to said about
family Dynamics and then you know men and women and how you work with women too so whatever you’d like to say about
that yeah all sounds you know the family Dynamic is such an
interesting one because you know I think Graham Josh really hit the nail on the head and I’ve seen it happen time and time again with me is that you know
there’s this this intimacy of the nuclear family the the epigenetics and
the genetics all mixed together and all of the generational past down that’s
happened you know the way in which I was parented is the way in which I’ve seen myself parent at times you know the way
in which my parents were parented was how they were parented and yes they’ve made a few amendments along the way which broadly speaking the level of
Consciousness that’s been available to us collectively has been has not it’s been it’s constantly evolving we’re
constantly becoming more of what we are meant to be and where we’re at right now the level of Consciousness that’s
emerging is awesome it’s heightened it’s acute it’s aware when our parents were
raising us you know that we were we were told to be seen and not heard you know there was very much a different Paradigm
and that was just because of the level of Consciousness at the time so there is great degree of compassion and and
forgiveness perhaps that’s required from all of us collectively for the ways in which the generations before us have
done it because they didn’t know any better and you’ve quite rightly spotted that you know what the implication of
that now is is this call to transition this call to initiation that we need to
consciously turn towards as mature adults in the world today which is this
in desperate need of mature adults to be Leading The Way Forward in a way that is
healthy and not rooted in our past not rooted in the wind which it has been
done to date not rooted in the way in which we were raised but really to become utterly discontinuous from the
past by healing all of the wounds that are still stuck in that water go visit our families see where the nervous
system is triggering hunt down and you said this at the beginning like hunt down those triggers ourselves because when we turned
consciously towards the parts of us that are getting triggered and we recognize that all that trigger means is that
there’s something in us that needs deep healing there’s probably a childlike part of her some seven-year-old or
nine-year-old or 13 year old that had something happen at the time all those years ago that didn’t have the
tools the know-how the education the capacity the community the family to
know how to digest that experience to its completion and integrate it back into the wholeness of who they were at
that time of who we were at that time and instead we got stuck something contracted around that original wound
and obviously there’s a spectrum to trauma you know we’ve got the capital T traumas which are just ghastly and
Beyond you know comprehension that human beings could treat one another in that way and then we’ve got the micro traumas
the you know the little T’s but all of them nonetheless are leaving imprints in our nervous systems they’re all living
their little Mark along their way and as a result of that we have this
fiery un unintegrated dysregulated nervous system happening within us and
what do we do we don’t take radical responsibility for it we just perpetuate it by passing and bypassing it and
passing it straight through on to the next Generations and that’s something that happened for our parents and the parents before
them and blah blah blah blah all the way up up the line so you know what we’ve been called to know is to really getting
to this awareness that it’s got to stop with us as the adults of today we’ve got
to stop this generational past down of trauma we’ve got to heal all of those
parts that need to come into wholeness if we need to go through a process of emancipating ourselves from our parents
energetically or literally because of the atrocities that they’ve passed on to us if we fall into the capital T then we
need to go through a conscious process of cutting the chords with our parents and creating that sovereignty for
ourselves so that we can find the community that we can be in where we are going to going to be nourished and loved
and respected and supported and we’re going to be in a community of those Awakening to truth Awakening to wisdom
but we need to bring all those ropes in so that we can become actually discontinuous from the past not
perpetuate this 3D consciousness of separateness and move rather into a 5D
conscious of consciousness of Oneness where we are whole and complete as we are regardless of the story that we have
we’ve pulled that story into wholeness we are at peace our nervous system is
calm we are healed we are here now and we are choosing a different route forward for our Collective Human family
you know so there’s work to be done first line work is me with myself I need to take radical responsibility for
myself I need to go about that process for me by me you know then there’s second line work
you and me Josh you know we can do this together we can share this process we can bounce off one another we can
support one another we can build community around ourselves together with this aligned vision of Oneness
consciousness and then there’s the third line work which is how do we then take that back out into the world and scale that and be
able to be a deepening within ourself and with our communities of the frequency that we want to hold of
Consciousness and love and Awakening peace on Earth presence Harmony balance
all of those virtues that we also deeply yearn for how do we embody those
individually and collectively within our communities Awakening to truth and then how do we utilize that capacity that we
have together to hold that frequency for Oneness Consciousness and emanate that back out into the world so that those
that that do not have access to that Community have the opportunity for example to be able to access a podcast
such as this and listen to these words and remember themselves through it remember themselves as Oneness
Consciousness and recognize ways in which they can take steps towards that first line of work
yes I will just in reiterate the importance of self-responsibility absolutely because no one else is
responsible for what we think say and do now yet there might be it’s not quite as
simple as that but you know um yeah I can’t make other people’s
choices for them I can’t live their lives for them no one can do the same for me so that I want to really Echo
that I wonder my capacity is not there to trace back my family linear lineage
inheritage to where it actually might have been healthy at some Far distant
place in the past but right now that’s beyond me and I will say yes I totally
agree with cutting off if there is severe trauma with one’s family absolutely like again
abuse is never okay at the same time once if one there’s also potentially a
possibility for reconnecting way down the road when one is healed and then if
the parents will come around again too so I don’t want to completely cut one
Advocate cutting ones itself off from one’s blood relatives and at the same
time you know that’s not all we are either too so I think there’s could be Middle Ground here as well now I want to
give you a chance to talk about this I know gender is a really hot topic now I
think the best term I’ve heard for it is gender confusion I mean to be respectful
and kind of see all what’s going on with so many things but in the more
traditional sense of gender here you know men and women will just use that I’m kind of old school I mean addressing
that now um I I said give you a little bit of space here to talk about how you
you work with with gals and then I want to talk about um the the catalysts for waking in
change that I’ve mentioned with you before the show um you know just these basic questions of
you know what does it take to re well first off what what really needs changing and then is it possible and how
do we do it I mean as far as prioritizing like what do you see internally externally
um even in these times or Timeless you know it applies to all times whatever
you want to say about this yeah beautiful so yeah look you know we are in this really interesting phase of
gender inquiry um where you know the Youth of today are
certainly uh a lot more um uh explorative are exploring these
nuances in ways that you know Generations before them have not
um so there’s been an enormous amount of of of of work that’s being done and it continues to be done on really trying to
understand what that means on a literal level a man and woman level you know for the work that I do I
specifically talk about masculine and feminine traits being a spectrum that
there are traits that are typically masculine by their very nature or by their very archetype and there are
traits that are typically feminine by their very nature or their very archetype now all of us have that full
spectrum living within us we all have a predisposition to a certain point on the
Spectrum where some men might be very attracted to certain traits that are
highly feminine and some women might be attracted to the traits that are highly masculine in nature I certainly know
through my culture through my conditioning and through working in a hyper masculine environment I had a lot
of traits in me during my banking years that were hyper masculine by Nature now
that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a bad thing it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s wrong in any way shape or form the
challenge we have is when those traits are not necessarily balanced or in
integrated with the alignment with who the individual is so for me I was quite disconnected I
used to ask myself this question all the time like you’re a female leader in banking but what does that actually mean
what does the diversity of gender bring to the table that is so unique and so
important for the progression of the conversation why is it important that a woman is at the table or that a man is
at the table or what you know anybody in between what what is the value of that
and I couldn’t actually answer the question for myself I couldn’t put my finger on what value I brought to the
table as a woman I was like well I mean you know I’ve got a good you know can communicate well I’ve got compassion I’m
a good listener I’m empathetic I’m caring you know those sorts of things
which are all wonderful traits but they’re typically speaking all the light feminine traits that are all very
appealing there is this whole Shadow side to the feminine much like there’s the whole Shadow side to the masculine
that’s the unhealthy aspect of these parts of all of us and without us being able to become
clear and emotionally intelligent about these different parts of ourselves the shadow just lurks in the shadow and
comes out to bite us when we at least wanted to you know so being able to kind of see
these traits as a spectrum recognizing that they live in all of us we can start to understand how these These Are Made
manifest in our day-to-day lives and how the shadow aspects are catching us up you know so if we look at this hyper
masculine culture that we’ve been living in we’ve got a situation where we’ve got Generations upon generations of men who
have not been allowed to feel they were raised by men who were said oh up boy Boys Don’t Cry come on don’t
fear you know just really like that deeply sensitized feminine side of
men has not been allowed or celebrated or included in the generations that have
gone before us now it’s much more available now there is I mean I’ve got a nine-year-old son and I was talking to
him the other day about my dad um my dad not being able to cry and my
nine-year-old son was like what do you mean mum everybody cries you know so I can see that it’s shifting
for him but you know we’ve still got all of this trauma as a result of men not being given permission to feel their
difficult feelings are not being given permission to express those in the ways in which girls were you know or women
are and what we see happen with women is the shadow side of the feminine coming out
is that women were taught to be pretty pleasing and polite as little girls and we were told that Prince Charming’s
coming on a horse don’t you worry you’ll be saved the men will save the day don’t you worry you don’t have to do a thing
you just need to be pretty and lie in the coffin and the man will kiss you and you’ll be fine you’ll be looked after so
there’s been this disempowering of girls and women all the way through and now we have this emergence of women coming
through in an empowered way but the shadow side of that is that it’s coming through with force and it’s coming
through with you know anger and it’s coming through with all this to undigested rage and all of that’s coming
out in unhealthy ways and we can go into all sorts of different aspects of these
shadow parts of us that are all playing out in the mainstream and perpetuating the cycles of trauma that we have lived
through generations and not necessarily healing the problem we’re not solving things because we’re
perpetuating it with this unwieldy and rather you know
um unhealthy win which we’re our culture’s allowing it through toxic masculinity and toxic femininity
so how is it that we can create structures and spaces for people to be
able to go into the challenging experiences of looking into their own shadow
and seeing what’s there and being able to utilize that opening that intentional
turning towards the trigger the intentional looking for the wisdom in that and being able to build a safe
space for the woman to express rage to allow that experience to come through
their body that emotion that energy emotion that is trapped in the shadow to
find its way to expression in order for it to be dissipated out into the world and for the body to release and relax
and for that then to come back into an integrated place within themselves of
digestion of that which has been thwarted or repressed or suppressed within them
and the same thing for men how do we create the cultural constructs for men to be able to find places where they can
learn how to be with difficult emotions like sadness and grief and tears
you know how do we create that that space for men to be able to be with the tenderness of all of that and not feel
judged or criticized or you know vilified or being told that they’re not
a man if they cry it’s like you know this this real shift that we’re going to do with or that we need to do for both
men and women alike is coming through the fall and I think in all of this confusion
the spectrum of gender is now being traversed by many people because people
don’t really know where they are they like but I feel this and I don’t know how to feel that and I’m confused by this and this is emerging and this
experience I’ve had it’s back and forth and back and forward and in that there’s a like I don’t really identify with
anything so I don’t know what I am I don’t know who I am who am I who am I which is a the most fundamental inquiry
every single one of us needs to sit with and consider is who am I and all of the facets that are involved with that
contemplation so in a way it’s a great exploration where the challenge comes in
is when separateness is created within this process and we’re creating more separateness by
being an Asana then or there and are there and a he and a she it’s like more distinction more labeling you know and
again I’ve Got Deep levels of compassion for people who are iron gender inquiries my very best friend is in a very deep
gender inquiry and she’s 58 years old suddenly is coming to the fore to her
which is an incredibly challenging process for her and at the same time there’s a big relief going like oh wow
I’ve always felt rather androgynous my whole life and I’m in a woman’s body so I’ve kind of been told to be like a
woman but there’s lots of parts of being a woman that I don’t resonate with and I’m being given permission to not have
to be a woman I can just be a they and for her to relief so I celebrate that but it’s how we’re doing this rite
of passage how are we collectively navigating our way through this transition of gender confusion as you
say or gender inquiry into a place where we can celebrate differences and not try
and create sameness out of everything not create separateness and division through this inquiry through this
confusion but to rather a lower truth go through its full emergence recognizing
that there is a challenge in this rite of passage that we are collectively in but we can do it well if we bring a
degree of Consciousness and awareness to the process in a way that is going to support the inclusion and not the demand
for sameness for everybody that’s going through the conclusion and the inquiry
really good points here I think one of the biggest ones is this division
because I see it’s almost like a lot of these programs and things
people are being forced on people in the um corporate and governmental media is
division and so when people are divided then they’re easier to control you know
maybe it’s a little bit overly simplistic and know as far as a man this
is uh when we go through these this process I think words are important here um I like to use the word weep so
weeping to me is more I don’t know it just it has a a more useful term than
than crying um you know and it’s it’s okay whatever word we use but that’s one that really
resonates with me and for me my own process just to share here um you know this was done in formal
meditation practice years and years ago when I first started this and it was done alone so it’s not you know it
wasn’t yeah it was socially acceptable right because I wasn’t doing this in front of other people and at the same
time I didn’t have like a men’s support group I was really fortunate before I left the states to come over here that I
led a meditation group and um a men’s group it was mainly men usually I get you know mostly women that show up to
these and it was really uh really refreshing to be able to facilitate that and then sit in on a men’s group who I
was really impressed the amount of openness and sharing that was done in that group I was really uh grateful and
fortunate to be a part of that so I think it’s a balance between this deep inner work solo and then also in
community and in in in in men’s group or right and we had a we had a couple uh um
females there I don’t know what the the terminology right terminology to use these days are and yeah so you know it
wasn’t like it was an all um you know exclusive you know like you’re saying
homogenized blob of sameness um so okay so now that we’ve we’ve
touched on that what about things that go beyond maybe our Human Experience or that included as well
um what is what do you see I mean you probably my guess would be if I had to guess that some of the most important
things you see um in existence right now let’s just say are some of the things you address but
what else would we’d like to see change in or would you like to see change in in the world internally I don’t know beyond
uh you know what is kind of the greatest thing pressing our times and then beyond
that as well um and then um maybe talk about what it takes to to
make meaningful changes in the world and what that’s about and it may be even
Awakening to the the types of things that you’ll be talking about
hmm yeah for sure I mean it’s such a good question because you know for where
I see things now all we’ve been talking about is like you know this personal experience that each of us are having
which is the only point of reference we really have while we are rooted in this 3D Consciousness is this is the sense of
me Paula in the world Josh is in the world having his experienced Porters in the world having her experience you know
and ultimately my my uh resonance and understanding of it is is that like each
and every one of us are just a fractal of God God experiencing you know God and
you know I don’t mean to trigger anybody with that word I don’t necessarily mean it in the Christian sense we can call it
Creator or Oneness Consciousness or Source or Spirit or whatever it is but
it’s like each of us are this unique facet of spirit that are having a subject of experience in these human
bodies that is spurge experiencing itself in all of its different ways you
know through this process we have in this 3D form where there is subject and object where there’s matter and I see
you over there and I’m over here there’s the sense of separateness and on purpose
we have seen the institutions and the powers that be create more division
through narratives through propaganda through you know all sorts of different
channels and and and so this experience that we’ve had of the creating of more
separateness for mean is and needs to come to an end we are in a incredibly
significant transition collectively whether everybody’s aware of it or not of this transition from 3D Consciousness
which is you and I hear this matter of of separateness through 4D Consciousness
where we are much more telepathic and permeable to our thoughts and feelings and Serendipity is arising in our lives
and we’re starting to recognize the interconnectivity of everything in the world in our transition to ultimately 5D
Consciousness which is Unity Consciousness this remembrance of ourselves as Source there’s remembrance
of ourselves as Spirits Spirit living in each and every one of us you know we are living in a spiritually
starved world we are disconnected from Spirit we have forgotten ourselves
we’ve just got two identified with this meat suit and this 3D life that we have
we’ve gotten Who We Are and who we are ultimately which I started with is a fractal of non-dual
awareness a fractal of primordial Consciousness having now in the zoomed
out version a 3D experience of Paula which I’m trying which in in turn is is
now being called to move back to remember myself Paula as a individual
fractal as as a connected fractal of of source Consciousness where spirit and I
are one you know whatever people believe Spirit to be whichever story they’ve got around
spirit so be it ultimately that connection to Spirit is a
experiential process we can argue about doctrinal religion or ways to get there
or whatever for hours and days and weeks and months and years and lifetimes even
and really what we want to move is past all of that to just remember ourselves remember ourselves as our interconnected
ones with spirits you know so that’s really where I feel the big existential
crisis slash now opportunity is is how rapidly can we accelerate our
remembrance of ourselves as spirit and that Spirit living in us and therefore
that Spirit if it’s living in me it’s living in you too Josh and therefore where is the actual separateness besides
the fact that you’ve got a head that’s different to my head we’ve got the same essence you know so that remembrance and
then there’s compassion and there’s love and there’s joy and there’s remembrance of who we really are
you know so that’s um that that feels very very um live and important at this time
beautiful Paula do you want to share with folks how they can get in touch with you online
um any events you have coming up anything else that you’re doing that you want to draw people’s attention to and
then what you would like to leave people with oh beautiful thank you
um yeah so you um listeners you can find me at the frequency.global my business is called the frequency
um and that’s both the website the frequency.global and my Instagram handle um and if you’d like to chat more about
any of this um you can book a discovery call with me um I have a woman’s Circle it’s an
online Zoom woman Circle so available to people all over the world um I’d only do the zoom circles for
women in groups of eight um to support the intimacy and the connection of the immersion of what is
this journey of feminine Consciousness and how do we as women connect to these suppressed and repressed challenging
corners of our experience to be able to bring them into wholeness and show up as potent woman at a time when the world
desperately needs potent woman to be showing up in their maturity
um so that’s coming up starting in October my next Circle um I’ve also got uh next week I’ll be
releasing a introductory series which is called a transformational journey into midlife maturity and the purpose of that
is an introductory process which is targeted at both men and women approaching them with life and giving
them an opportunity to learn about rights of Passage learn about console
themselves dead cycles of natures nature and how to bring that into their
everyday existence to be able to utilize the wisdom in all of those facets and
start the inquiry it’s like an introductory process of starting that inquiry with self in a very gentle very
beautiful very health way so that will be coming up next week which I’ll be um promoting on my socials as well and
for those of you that are in Australia and people who are around the globe we I run um as the senior facilitator for the
rights of Passage Institute we do transformation National camps for parents and children and we also do
transformational leadership trainings where we teach and Empower people um
teaching Empower people um to transition into their full maturity
really well
and what I’d like to leave you with is that if you are feeling a sense of agitation in your life
uh and turn towards it and look for the wisdom that’s available in that it’s
calling you to your next layer it’s calling you to your next transition and there’s an opportunity in that so lean
in
Integrating Presence 